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Linden picks up a waffle in his hand and studies it

I know that look in his eyes When my parents died, I stared at my meals the same way Like food was paste, like there was no point to it Before I can stopit to his lips I just can’t stand to be reminded of that pitiful sadness

He looks surprised, but he eats it, s him another blueberry, and this tirip, like I’d expected It’s tenuous, and it lasts only as long as it takes him to s the blueberry in his mouth Then he clears his throat

We’ve been married for nearly athat I’ve been able to look at hirief, the pink swollen skin around his eyes that makes him seem harmless Even kind

"There That wasn’t so bad, was it?" I say, and take a blueberry for myself It tastes sweeter than the ones I’m used to I take the waffle out of his hand and break it in half--a piece for each of us

He eats, taking s like it’s painful It’s like that for a while, with only the sound of the birds outside and us chewing

When the plate is cleaned, I hand hie juice He takes it in the nu ar will be good for him, I think

I shouldn’t care how he feels But it will be good for him

"Rhine?" There’s a knock at my door It’s Cecily "Are you up? What’s this word? A-M-N-I-O-C-E-N-T-E-S-I-S"

"A it for her

"Oh Did you know that’s how they test babies for defects?" she says

I do know My parents worked in a laboratory that analyzed everything about fetuses and newborns

"That’s nice," I say

"Come out," she says "There’s a robin’s nest outside s are really pretty!" She’s rarely interested in seeing me, but I’ve noticed she doesn’t like when doors are closed to her

"After I get dressed," I say, and listen for the silence thatit toto stay I busyit back with clips I open ue

Linden leans back on his elbow, picking at a stray thread on his cuff and looking pensive After a while he gets up "I’ll be sure someone comes for the tray," he says, and leaves

I take a war in the layer of pink foa sensation the bubbles leave on my skin I dry my hair and dress in jeans, and a sweater that feels like heaven to touch All Deirdre’s work I as sheCecily to find me and lead me to her bird’s nest, but she’s nowhere to be found

"Governor Linden took her out to one of the gardens,"

Jenna says when I find her, thu cards in the library Her voice sounds clearer today, less sullen She even looks atwhether to say more Then she looks back to the cards

"Why do you call hi dinner Househn explained to us that he was to be addressed as Househest authority in the house But ere expected to call our husband by his given nan of familiarity

"Because I hate him," she says

There’s noin her gray eyes says she means it I look around us to be sure nobody heard her The room is empty

"I understand," I say "But et more freedom"