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But what if it’s important? What if--?
Don’t read it It’s not worth it
The internal debate continues in my mind I stare blankly The lesson continues around irl’s voice rings in my ears a few moments later, but I have no idea what she said or what Peter said The letter consuers twitch Halfway through class, Peter calls on aze is on the floor and totally vacant I don’t realize he’s standing in front of me until I see his shoes I look up "Sorry What was that?"
He smiles at e Peter givesabout poems Dusty said they’re eht mind would ever write a poem on his oithout an incentive"
I blink "An incentive?"
Dusty is sitting ts behind uy would write a poeet laid"
"Very eloquent," Peter says, and shakes his head Folding his arms across his chest, Peter looks down at me "And what do you say, Sidney?"
I make a face and look back at Dusty "Not that" I turn back to Peter "A poee At its core…" My vision goes black at the edges I wrote poems I vividly reme sensation doesn’t stop I can still feel his hands on nore the cold sweat onmy throat, I add, "At the core of poetry is purity--pure emotion, pure desire, pure elation, pure--"
Dusty speaks out, "So a poeuy just wants to nail you? What if it’s all pretty words? You really think that ancient guys didn’t write this stuff to get a little action? Come on, Sidney, you’re sburied I clutch the side of uy is a bastard, Dusty Isn’t it possible that some poe to do with panties?"
He says souys chuckle I close my eyes hard, but the classroo in rows louder What the hell is the matter with me? It’s just a letter Dusty’s just a dick I already know that Nothing is going to hurt me, but I feel so threatened I chase away the panic that’s consuain "…they did it then and they do it now Guys don’t write poeet laid If they need an emotional outlet, they punch shit"
For so Before I knohat’s happening, I’ers turn white Peter is watching me He doesn’t move He doesn’t silence Dusty I stare at Peter’s shoe and try to take long steady breaths I’ to have an anxiety attack and freak out in class My heart is pounding, beating way too fast A bead of sweat drips next to my ear and rolls down my jaw
Peter cuts off the conversation "So all the men in this room feel that way?" I hear movement, but don’t look up "Very well For the rest of this class period you are to go to the library and write a poem It cannot be for a woman and it has to be an expression of e it back here Got it?" There’s a lot of groaning, and then the sound of chairs
I try to push back and stand, but I barely move before Peter says, "Sidney, I need to speak with you Stay put for a moment"
Peter follows the class out of the roo them to return at 9:20pm with the poeet credit No, length doesn’tPeter responds by telling them that they have to turn in two poems I hear curses and then silence
No one is in the room At some point, I laid my head on the desk and closed entle When I openin front of my desk His eyes sweep over my face, worried I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck "Are you all right?"
I sit up and nod "Sorry I don’t knohat…"
Peter’s gaze is filled with concern He readsI see it in that sad crooked s I just wanted to ht You’re still pale Sit for a while" Peter stands and walks over to his bag, and pulls out a Hershey bar He walks back to me and holds it out "Here, eat this"