Page 29 (2/2)
"Hey" I smile weakly as I walk around the thick leather chair that Beck and I love to cuddle in, and run round ht sound stupid, but just that little touchdoesn’t speak He just stands behind the little half-walled, breakfast bar that separates the kitchen and the living roo but kindness and love, are clouded orry God, I hate this I wish he could have just remained oblivious to all of this shit
"You want to go sit outside? It’s a nice afternoon" I try to s at ?"
He breaks eye contact and looks off to the side, just staring into space I know he’s thinking, because he runs his hands through his hair a few times, drops his head, and holds the back of his neck, just shaking his head lightly
"Please"
His head pops up and the pain behind his eyes squeezes , I think I always kneould handle things the worst Even though we didn’t even know each other when the majority of this shit went down, it doesn’thappens to his family, he feels it like it’s his own pain
He takes a fewtowards me His eyes never leave mine until I’m forced to look ahen his chest crashes into rip He just stands here, holding ive hi hiainstin rapid pants My heart breaks a little, knowing that there is no way to explain this without hurting hiainst his chest
"Are you kidding? What the hell do you have to be sorry for?" He pulls back, andlaainstwhen I see the emotion in his face
"I didn’t mean to hurt you We’ve always been able to tell each other everything, but this… This was just so that I didn’t knohat to do with It’s takenon this last year that, even if I had been ready to talk, there was no way that I could have thrown this on you Not with everything that was going on with Melissa and Cohen"
Things got a little crazy for a few randparent Not to h with that whore he used to sleep with Now that Melissa is alnant with their twins, and they are all finally happy, things are definitely in a better place for me to let him in He has someone to help him ease his mind fro to help you You’ve been my family for years When family needs you, for whatever reason, you’re there Don’t you realize how much the people in your life love you?" He looks so confused Daood
"Coo and follows behindmy hands across the soft leather I closeand full of love I let my body fill with his love and open my eyes with a new determination
I sit down on the couch and pat the cushion next tosmiles and shakes his head with my action I’ve seen him do that a million ti so around us
"I’ and as hard as this is going to sound… just please, let "
He nods his head and I take a deep breath before I start tellingI start with h school His eyes get hard a few times, mainly whenever I mention my father I pause for a second before I tell hi into my office I knoill be able to handle that part, but it’s going to be a stretch thinking that he’ll be able to control his anger when he finds out just how bad it got My eyes have been watchingfroure out how to tell hiaze The question in his eyes and the understanding nod show me that he realizes that this is part of the bad I’ve been keeping from him "Go on, please"
I open et the words out I keep lued to his as I tell hiainstIzzy before she was finally able to free herself I rush to get each word out, because with each continuing second, I watch a little part of one of my best friends break apart and splinter into a million pieces
"I don’t think I ever dealt with it At least not like a nor and continued to live my life the only way I kne at the tiry eyes for a second, trying to calm my nerves "When he hurt Izzy, that time at the condo we had, I think that was the start Beck noticed and didn’t let me cave in, but even he couldn’t save ether before it all blew up and the lights went out in my life" His eyes narrow in question, but he doesn’t interrupt ot hurt I had been pushing hi my best to keep him in a nice little box so that he wouldn’t work his way intothose early days "We didn’t even have a chance to tell anyone Funny how that works Everyone thought that we’d been playing these bedrooames for the last two years, but in reality, he’s held my heart the whole time" I shake my head I still can’t believe that Beck was the only one who ever noticed my pain Well, Beck and Maddox, but Mad never let on that he has been silently watching le
"I wasn’t even upset that you guys didn’t notice, you know?" I whisper the words, but he jerks when I finish talking I swing my eyes back to his face and flinch when I see his eyes and lips pressed tight I have to look away to get the rest out Part of ry words Ihi himself up worse than I ever could It’s no one’s fault but my own that I shut down and didn’t kno to process the pain I wore the masks I needed to wear and I locked them out I was my oorst enemy