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"I would love to see theain" I don’t think I realized how true that stateh I’ve only met Julie in person, I have talked to the other ladies in his life a few ti his mother how to FaceTime

"I would love that, too" I lean back into him, and we both sit here for a few minutes in a comfortable silence He takes a few deep pulls on his beer, and I spend the ti out how to start this chat

"I’m really not sure that there is a real easy way to start with this one I suppose it would be really easy to take the cheap way out and just give you le bubbles up before I can squash it "Okay Let’s just start with ives ainst my bare shoulder

"The first tiotten to make my bed That was also the first time of many that he toldwith my parents My mother was just as nasty as he was, except her words were her weapon of choice I learned real early in life that I would be better off keepingthey wanted" I steal a glance at hi it in so I can finish

"I won’t lie and pretend that there was aveBarbies in for me to play with, my parents fired her I’ll skip all the sordid details, but whatever you’re i is probably spot on"

His hand flexes slightly on my shoulder, but when I look over, he nods tensely for me to continue

"I know thatrelationships There wasn’t a single relationship that I had that wasn’t a way for soet closer to my father and fa but change after they get what they want Dr Maxwell says that since I hadn’t had any positive male relationships until , that it makes sense that I have soe" I shift my body so I can look into his eyes I need to see him and make sure he understands this next part "Please know that I see this now I really do I know that I was projecting rated that I don’t think I would have been able to just shut them off, and you have no idea how sorry I am for that"

He smiles sadly and takes my hands in his "I know that, Baby I never doubted that you were fighting so beyond your control"

"God, I don’t deserve your understanding"

"Hey, stop that Don’t doubt your self-worth, not with u that Sometimes I feel like I’ here, but I can tell you aren’t like them It’s just taken me a while I shouldn’t have ever luo off e know, and you hadn’t ever seen anything that would make you believe that I wasn’t like those assholes"

I sit there for a few th for the next part "Did I ever tell you that I was the one that introduced Brandon and Izzy?"

His eyes widen before he shakes his head

"Yeah, that was me I set up my best friend with the man who almost took her from me I alondered ould have happened if I hadn’t ever set theuilt that would eat atI could have known I understand that now, but it isn’t any easier"

"I really thought that he was one of the good guys" I laugh weakly "What a fool I was"

He takes ain and waits for e foraway and I saw less and less of her I didn’t give up though; I kept calling and trying to coood week ofa pain in the ass, but I just wanted to talk to Izzy"

I don’t realize I have zoned out until his hand squeezesat our hands I have to close my eyes when I see the pain in his eyes He knows this is about to get really ugly

"It’s okay, Dee I’"

"Are you sure you want to know the rest?"

He nods sharply and I sigh

"I didn’t realize until recently, with Dr Maxwell’s help, why I had such a hard time after all that stuff with Brandon went down I kneas pushing you away out of fear, but I couldn’t even understand it myself You have to understand that I’ve never known a positive relationship with aclose, I freaked out You are so perfect on the outside that it terrified e just as easily as all the others" I stop when he grunts, but he ht understand a little better why his attack was the trigger for e, he cornered ory details, but how I looked a feeeks ago? That’s close to how he left me, only he took it a lot further"