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I broke us

I broke him

And I just continue to break myself

Chapter 8

My heart is still rapidly pounding froical side of me knows that he would never make a move on her, but the jealous and possessive ex-lover only saw her in his ar my mind, but not because of jealousy This tiain I can’t even remember all the tiht after Brandon’s attack, she spent the better part of eight or so ht have been more, but she pushed me away and wouldn’t letthat

The only reason that I kno bad it got was because I refused to leave Before she closed me out completely, I ith her as much as I could be, as much as she would allow She lived with Izzy and Axel for a while, but she still came over It still amazes me that not one of these da with She was living under her best friend’s own roof, and even she didn’t notice When it got to the point that I wasto haret her more help than I could provide

I know she is still seeing Dr Maxwell She’s slipped up a few times over the years and told me We’ve had our handful of reunions, those tiirl back, only to have the hopes die in the

Everyone around us looks at our fucked up relationship and does nothing but judge They see only the outside, thedressing They don’t see this side of Dee They don’t see her when she hits her lowest points and callsbecause she is terrified that sootten the call fro you that the world would be better without soed No, everyone sees perfect Dee, happy Dee, and the Dee that never stops s on the inside

I’ve watched this happen to plenty ofI’ve watched them completely cruht It doesn’t take a doctor to tellfrons that she’s getting stronger over the last few months, but she still isn’t the Dee that she was before that asshole violated her safety

"Shh, I’ve got you Dee" As I pull her into ainstI kno to do Just be there Regardless of how the people around us think I’under all of this pain "Cal’s okay"

I knoe can’t sit here in the hallway It’s not going to be long before so for a bathroo s up into my arms She curls even further into ainst my neck

I walk further away fro’s office, shut the door, and walk over to the couch When I sit down, she still doesn’t rehtly around ht now toI wish she would take and never let go of Me

When the last tremor leaves her body, and the vice-like hold she has on htly, I can finally breathe a little easier I wait a few more minutes until she lifts her head fro eye contact with me Her beautiful, brown eyes are bloodshot and swollen with herdown her face Her cheeks are puffy and splotchy red She looks terrible, but she’s never looked ht now This is Dee, my Dee, and not some fancy farce that she projects to the world around her

"Are you better now?"

She nods, never looking away

I press on "Are you ready to knock soain

I want so badly to ask her if she’s ready to be ain, but I know she isn’t ready for that "Are you done running?"

Her eyes go wide, and I can see the wheels start to turn, trying to find a way out of this question

"I don’t know, Beck I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but I just don’t know" Sighing, she drops her eyes to her lap where she rests her hands I reach out and cover both of her hands with one ofher soft skin with my thumb