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"Oh, Katie"

And she was crying again Quieter this time

She walked dully up one street and down another until soht her eye

There, in a store on the corner, she found what she hadn't even realized she'd been looking for She had the gift wrapped and ran all the way back to Kate's room

She was out of breath when she opened the door and went inside

Kate sot a film creith you"

"Very funny" She eased around the curtain and stood by the bed "Yourtrouble with Marah"

"It's not your fault She's scared of all this and she doesn't kno easy it is to say you're sorry"

"I didn't"

"You alere her role model" Kate closed her eyes "I'm tired, Tully"

"I have a present for you"

Kate opened her eyes "What I need can't be bought"

Tully tried not to react to that Instead, she handed Kate the beautifully wrapped gift and helped her open it

Inside was a hand-tooled, leather-bound journal On the first page, Tully had written: Katie's story

Kate stared down at the blank page for a long ti

"Katie?"

"I was never really a writer," she finally said "You and Johnny and Mom all wanted it for me, but I never did it Too late now"

Tully touched her friend's wrist, feeling how fragile and thin it was; the tiniest pressure could leave a bruise "For Marah," she said quietly "And the boys Soh to read it They'll want to knoho you were"

"How do I knohat to write?"

Tully had no real answer for that "Just write what you reht alone were too much to bear "Thanks, Tully"

"I won't leave you again, Katie"

Kate didn't open her eyes, but she smiled just a little "I know"

Kate didn't re to Tully, and the next--she aking up in a dark room that smelled of fresh flowers and disinfectant

She'd been in this roo it almost felt like home, and sometimes, when her fae room comforted her with its silence Within these blank walls, when no one else was around, she didn't have to pretend to be strong

But right now she didn't want to be here She wanted to be at ho him sleep in the hospital bed on the other side of the roo on theabout David Cassidy's newest albu of Pop Rocks

Theof the fear that had wakened her

She knew she wouldn't fall back asleep without ht nurse Besides, she had little enough life left to her; as the point in sleeping?

It had only been in the last feeeks that such hts had conosis--what she thought of as D-Day--she did everything she was supposed to do, and she did it with a sery--Sure, cut me open and take my breasts

Radiation--Absolutely Burn me up

Chemotherapy--Another dose of poison, please

Tofu and miso soup--Yum May I have some more?

Crystals Meditation Visualization Chinese herbs

She'd done it all, and done it with vigor Even more important, she'd believed in all of it, believed she'd be cured

The effort had winded her; the belief had broken her