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"You want me to open it now?"

He nodded

She peeled back the paper, plucked off the bow, and found a blue velvet box inside Opening it, she gasped There lay a fine gold necklace and a diamond-encrusted heart-shaped locket "Johnny"

"I've done sos in my life, Katie, and for most of them I've paid the price Lately, you've paid the price, too I kno hard it's been on you, this past year And I want you to know this: you are the one thing I've done right in this life" He took the necklace out of the box and put it on her "I've taken a new job at my old station You won't have to worry about me anymore You're my heart, Katie Scarlett, and I'll always be here for you I love you"

Kate's throat tightened with ee, the cherry trees in the Quad hadof tiray-brown branches In the eighties, time had been marked by the streetlamps on the cobblestoned street in front of the Public Market When the first SEASON'S GREETINGS flag fluttered beneath the laone by

In the nineties it was Tully's hair Every , while Kate fed and bathed Marah, she watched the ed twice a year First there had been the Jane Pauley extra-short bangs, then the Meg Ryan messy look, then the pixie cut that , and most recently, she'd chosen the most talked-about cut in the country--the Rachel

Every time Kate saw a new hairdo, she winced at how fast ti, they were flying by Already it was the last day of August, 1997 In a little rade

She hated to ad forward to this day

For the past seven years, she'd been the best ently recorded every raphs to scientifically docuhter so much that she sometimes felt lost in the sea of love that surrounded them She and Johnny had tried for years to conceive another child, but they had not been so blessed It had been difficult for Kate to handle; in tih, she'd accepted her s everyshe was passionate about: motherhood

But as the un to feel a tiny itch of dissatisfaction At first she'd kept it bottled inside of her--after all, what did she have to complain about? She loved her life She spent what spare hours she did have volunteering in the classroom and at Helper House, the local center that provided assistance to women in need She even took a few art classes

It wasn't enough, didn't fill the invisible void, but it h the people who loved her--Johnny, Tully, and Mo for sonored them all It was so hter There would be plenty of time later on to search for herself

Now she stood at the living roo out at the still-dark backyard Even in the shadows she could see toys strewn about the deck and yard Barbies Beanie Babies A tricycle lying on its side A pink plastic Corvette ashing back and forth on the inco her head, she turned away fro it on As soon as Marah woke up, she was going to hter march outside and pick up the toys A temper tantrum was sure to follow

The television came on with a thurave face Behind hiraphs reeled off, one after another "For those of you just tuning in," Bernard said, "the news from France is that Princess Diana is dead"

Kate stared at the screen, not quite co

The princess Their princess Dead?

Beside her, the phone rang Without looking away from the TV, she answered it "Hello?"

"You're watching the news?"

"It's true?"

"I'm in London to cover it"

"Oh, , shy Diana in her plaid skirt and bonant Diana, looking hopeful and radiantly happy; elegant Diana, in a gorgeous off-the-shoulder gown, dancing with John Travolta at the White House; laughing Diana, on a ride at Disneyland with her boys; and finally, Diana alone, in a hospital far fro a es were the whole of a woman's life

"It can be over so fast," Kate said, more to herself than to Tully She realized aand she'd interrupted her

"She was just starting to co to try Kate knew about that, about how frightening it could be to watch your children grow up and your husband go off to work and to wonder what you'd do with the sliver of life that was yours

Fa alone at soed to the front gates of one of the castles, where floere beginning to pile up in reotten that somehow

"Kate? Are you okay?"

"I think I'll sign up for a writing class at UW," she said slowly The words felt pulled out of her soreat You alere a kick-ass writer"

Kate didn't respond She sank down to the sofa and just stared at the TV, surprised when she began to cry

Alretted the decision she'd retted was that she'd told Tully, who'd told Moreat idea," Johnny said a few nights later as they lay in bed, watching television "I'll help out hatever you need ive him a laundry list of reasons that it was too burdenso sound so easy, as if life were a co they were, how it felt to find that you weren't good enough

In the end, though, she could lie to herself andWhen Marah went off to school, waving wildly, Kate was left with the eations could only fill some of her time

So, on a hot Indian summer day in mid-September, she dropped Marah off at school, drove onto the ed into the don Seattle traffic At ten-thirty she parked in the visitors' lot at the University of Washington, walked to the Registration Building, and signed up for a single class: Introduction to Fiction Writing

For the next week, she was a nervous wreck