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"Not in this case," said Anderssen "Mariolike it At least I&039;ve seen nothing like it There may have been, at most, ten women there and not one had red hair Even if one of them had been a redhead, I doubt she would have been a redhead in quite the fluorescent and lavishly spectacular way that Helen was Take ht - left, and there was no Helen She had disappeared"

"Gone out to the street by another entrance, I suppose," said Halsted

Anderssen shook his head "There was no entrance to the street I checked with the cashier afterward, and with the fellow at the registration desk I&039;ve gone back there since to order lunch and ed to look over the place There isn&039;t any entrance to the outside What&039;s- or - other They don&039;t open There are ventilation ducts, of course, but they&039;re not big enough for a rabbit to crawl through"

Avalon said, "Even though the s are fake, youbehind one of the the wall There would have been an obvious bump if she were behind one What&039;s more, they only came down to the bottom of theand there are two feet of bare wall beneath theh if she were standing behind one"

"What about the ladies&039; rooainst violating the one - sex nature of these things, we tend to forget the one we don&039;t use is even there"

"Well, I didn&039;t," said Anderssen, with clear exasperation "I looked around for it, didn&039;t see any indication, and when I asked later, it turned out that both rest rooms were in the lobby A waitress did shohile I was looking around and I said to her in, I suppose, a rather distracted voice, &039;Did a redheaded woman just come in here?&039;

"The waitress looked at me in a rather alarmed way, and mumbled, &039;I didn&039;t see anyone,&039; and hastened to deliver her tray load to one of the tables

"I hesitated because I was conscious ofposition, but I saay out I raised my voice and said, &039;Has anyone here seen a redheaded woo?&039; There was dead silence Everyone looked up atstupidly Even the man on the couch turned his head to look at ative The others didn&039;t even do that h indication that they hadn&039;t seen her

"Then it occurred to ed fro there and I felt triuht induce some of the staff to call hotel security, or the police, even, Idoors into the kitchen There was the chef there, a couple of assistants, and another waitress No Helen There was one sht have been a private lavatory for the kitchen staff, and I had gone too far to back down I walked over and flung the door open It was a lavatory, and it was e at me, and I said, &039;Sorry,&039; and left quickly I didn&039;t see any closets there large enough to hold a hu

"I stepped back into the restaurant Everyone was still looking atbut return to the lobby It was as though the instant Helen had passed through the doorway into the restaurant, she had vanished"

Anderssen sat back, spread his hands in blank despair "Just vanished"

Drake said, "What did you do?"

Anderssen said, "I went out and talked to the cashier She had been away from her station for a few o in, let alone Helen She told me about the rest rooms and that there was no exit to the street

"Then I went to talk to the room clerk, which demoralized me further He was busy and I had to wait I wanted to yell, "This is ato think I would be carried off to an asylum if I didn&039;t behave in a totally proper way And when I spoke to hih what could I really have expected from him?"

"And then what did you do?" asked Drake

"I waited in the lobby for about half an hour I thought Helensome practical joke and that she would return Well, no Helen I could only spendthe police, of hiring a private detective, of personally scouring the city, but you know - What do I tell the police? Thatfor an hour? That my wife vanished under my eyes? And I don&039;t know any private detectives For that matter, I don&039;t kno to scour a city So, after the mostthere was to do I hailed a taxi and went home"

Avalon said, sole to tell us your wife has beenever since"

Gonzalo said, "She can&039;t be, Jeff I saw her two days ago"

Anderssen said, "She aiting for ot home For a minute, a wave of intense thankfulness swept over me It had been a terrible taxi ride All I could think of was that she would have to betwenty - four hours before I could call the police and hoould I live through the twenty - four hours? And ould the police be able to do?

"So I just grabbed her and held on to her I was on the point of weeping, I was so glad to see her And then, of course, I pushed her away and said, &039;Where the hell have you been?&039;

"She said, coolly, "I told you I was going home&039;

"I said, &039;But you ran into the restaurant&039;

"She said, "And then I went home You don&039;t suppose I needed a broomstick, do you? That&039;s quite old - fashioned I just - pft! - and I was hoht hand

"I was furious I had gotten completely over my relief I said, &039;Do you knohat you&039;ve put ine how I felt? I rushed in like a damn fool and tried to find you and then I just stood around I alrew calht for what you did Besides, I told you I was going hoo home, too Here I am Just because you refuse to believe I have the power is no reason for you to begin scolding me, when I did exactly what I told you I would do"

"I said, &039;Come on, now You didn&039;t pft here Where were you in the restaurant? How did you get here?&039;

"I could get no answer from her on that Nor have I been able to since It&039;s ruining h an hour of hell I resent hera fool ofup as a result? Surely, you need not allow one incident - "

"No, it&039;s not breaking up In fact, she&039;s been sweet as apple pie ever since that evening She hasn&039;t pulled a single witch trick, but it bothers the dickens out of iven her a kind of - superiority -"

Rubin said, "She&039;s got the upper hand now, you mean"

"Yes," said Anderssen, violently "She&039;s otten aith it I know she&039;s not a witch I know there are no such things as witches But I don&039;t kno she did it, and I&039;ve got this sneaking suspicion she&039;s liable to do it again, and it keeps me - it keeps me - under"

Anderssen then shook his head and said, in a , but it&039;s poisoning ain there was silence about the table, and then Avalon said, "Mr Anderssen, we of the Black Widowers are fir us the truth about the incident?"

Anderssen said, fiercely, "I assure you I have told you the truth If you have a Bible here, I&039;ll swear on it Or, which is better as far as I aive youI&039;ve told you is as completely true as my memory and my human fallibility will allow"

Avalon nodded "I accept your ithout reservation"

Gonzalo said, in an aggrieved way, "You o, and nothing see to me I had no idea - Maybe it&039;s not too late for us to help"

"How?" said Anderssen "How could you help?"

Gonzalo said, "We ht discuss the matter Some of us may have some ideas"

Rubin said, "I have one, and, I think, a very logical one I begin by agreeing with Anderssen and everyone else here that there is no witchcraft and that, therefore, Mrs Anderssen is no witch I think she went into the restaurant and soed to evade her husband&039;s eyes Then when he was busy in the kitchen or at the registration desk, she left the restaurant and the hotel quickly, took a taxi, went home, and then waited for him Now she won&039;t admit what it is she has done in order to stay one - up in this needless e is useless if - "

"Never mind the homilies," said Anderssen, the shortness of his te "Of course that&039;s what happened I don&039;t need you to explain it to me But you skip over the hard part You say she went into the restaurant and &039;soed to evade her husband&039;s eyes&039; Would you please tell ed that trick?"

"Very well," said Rubin "I will You caht and left, and were at once certain she wasn&039;t there Why? Because you were looking for an un, Mr Anderssen?"

"A wig? You ?"

"Why not? If she appeared to have brown hair, your eyes would pass right over her In fact, I suspect that her red hair is soyou see in her that if she earing a broig and had taken a seat at one of the tables, you could have been staring right at her face without recognizing it"

Anderssen said, "I insist I would have recognized her even so, but that point is of no i is that Helen has never owned a wig For her to use one is unthinkable She is as aware of her red hair as everyone else is, and she is vain about it, and wouldn&039;t drea it Such vanity is natural I&039;ence"

Rubin said, "I grant you Intelligence is so to be vain about Yet, if it served some purpose that seemed important to me, I would pretend to be an idiot for a few er I think your ould have been willing to slip on a broig just long enough to escape your eye Vanity is never an absolute in anyone who isn&039;t an outright fool"

Anderssen said, "I know her better than you do, and I say she wouldn&039;t wear a wig Besides, I told you this was a ht of su was a summer dress with only suainst the air conditioning She was holding a sh to contain some money and herShe had no ith her Why should she have brought one with her, anyway? I can&039;t and won&039;t believe that she was deliberately planning to have a fight, and to trick- term upper hand She&039;s a creature of i plans of that kind I know her"

Tru her vanity and inity? Would she have been willing to duck under one of the tables and let the tablecloth hide her?"

"The tablecloths did not coround I would have seen her I tell you I&039;ve gone back to the restaurant and studied it in cold blood There is nowhere she could have hidden I was even desperate enough to wonder if she could have worked her way up the chimney, but the fireplace isn&039;t real and isn&039;t attached to one"

Drake said, "Anyone have any other ideas? I don&039;t"

There was silence

Drake turned half about in his chair "Do you have anything to volunteer, Henry?"

Henry said, with a small smile, "Well, Dr Drake, I have a certain reluctance to spoil Mrs Anderssen&039;s fun"

"Spoil her fun?" said Anderssen in astonish me, waiter, that you knohat happened?"

Henry said, "I knohat ht easily have happened, sir, that would account for the disappearance without the need for any sort of witchcraft and I assume, therefore, that that was, indeed, what happened"

"What was it, then?"

"Let me be certain I understand one point When you asked the people in the restaurant if they had seen a redheaded woman enter, the ative Is that right?"

"Yes, he did I remember it well He was the only one who really responded"

"But you said the fireplace was at the wall opposite the door into the restaurant and that the couch faced it, so that the man had his back to you He had to turn around to look at you That azine Of all the people there, he was least likely to see someone enter the door, yet he was the one person to take the trouble to indicate he had seen no one Why should he have?"

"What has all that got to do with it, waiter?" said Anderssen

"Call him Henry," est that Mrs Anderssen hurried in and took her seat on the couch, an ordinary and perfectly natural action that would have attracted no attention fro and in conversation, even despite her red hair"

"But I would have seen her as soon as I came in," said Anderssen "The back of the couch only reaches a person&039;s shoulders and Helen is a tall woman Her hair would have blazed out at me"

"On a chair," said Henry, "it is difficult to do anything but sit On a couch, however, one can lie down"

Anderssen said, "There was aon the couch"

"Even so," said Henry "Your wife, acting on impulse, as you say she is apt to do, reclined Suppose you were on a couch, and an attractive redhead, with a fine figure, dressed in a skimpy summer costume, suddenly stretched out and placed her head in your lap; and that, as she did so, she raised her finger i for silence It seee a lady under those circuhtened, "Well -"

"You said the hted, but h to avoid the woerness to oblige a lady, would he not turn his head and unnecessarily emphasize that he hadn&039;t seen her?"

Anderssen rose "Right! I&039;ll go hoht now and have it out with her"

"If I est, sir," said Henry, "I would not do that"

"I sure will Why not?"

"In the interest of faht be well if you would let her have her victory I irets it and is not likely to repeat it You said she has been very well behaved this last h that you know in your heart hoas done so that you needn&039;t feel defeated yourself? It would be her victory without your defeat and you would have the best of both worlds"

Slowly, Anderssen sat down and, aht patter of applause froht, Henry"

"I think I am," said Henry

AFTERWORD

Actually, I dreamed this one

I don&039;t often remember my dreams since, actually, I attach no importance to them whatever (In this, I differ from my dear wife, Janet, who is a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and considers theuides to what ht, of course)

Anyway, even when I do re since they alination It&039;s as though I use up the entire supply inover for dreams

In one drea room and found he had unaccountably disappeared I was quite astonished, for, as I said, even in my dreams I don&039;t usually defy the laws of nature A search through the roo for in the place where the heroine of the preceding story had hidden

I stared at him and said (so help me), "What a terrific idea for a Black Widowers story"

Fortunately I woke at that moment and, for once, the dream was fresh inmemory and on the next available occasion, I wrote the story and it appeared in the October 1984 issue of EQMM

I can&039;t help but think that if I could dreaimmicks, life would be a lot easier