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ROGER HALSTED looked over his drink and said in his soft voice, "Successful huh The sudden change in point of view does it and the h" His voice took on the slight stutter that marked his ht about it "Well, er There are lots of theories about humor, but for my money, once you&039;ve dissected a joke, you&039;re about where you are when you&039;ve dissected a frog It&039;s dead"
"But you&039;ve learned so - Think of a joke"
Drake said, "I&039; to"
Mario Gonzalo, resplendent in a turtlenecked shin in rich purple under a beige jacket, said, "Try Manny Rubin"
Elowered at Gonzalo, and turned aith a look of unmistakable pain, said, "I clai is invariably serious"
Gonzalo said, "I&039; about you"
Rubin said, "I&039;d answer that, Mario, but dressed as you are, you&039;re taking an unfair advantage I keep fighting nausea"
Theand Henry, the indispensable waiter at these functions, announced that dinner was served
"Easy on the food, Manny," said Mario, "it&039;s roast beef and Yorkshire pudding today, Henry tells me, and we don&039;t want trouble with your delicate intestines and gross wit"
"Writing your own material, I see," said Rubin "Too bad - Ah, there&039;s Tom"
Tom Trumbull&039;s white thatch of hair showed as he moved hastily up the stairs, followed by the rest of hientlemen, minor family crisis, all taken care of and - Thank you, Henry" He seized his Scotch and soda gratefully "You haven&039;t begun eating yet?"
Geoffrey Avalon said gravely, "Roger is buttering his roll but that&039;s as far as we&039;ve gotten"
Drake said, "Toist"
Trunus I didn&039;t quite get Jinus was tall and thin, with lank black hair worn at th and a boyish face He spoke quickly, but with intervals of careful enunciation "Exobiologist, Mr Tru &039;outside&039; Personally, I prefer &039;xenobiologist&039;, which sounds as though it starts with a z, but is x - e - n - o froer&039; Either way it&039;s the study of life on other worlds"
"Like Martians," said Trumbull
"Or Mario in his shirt," said Rubin
Magnus shter, I adruity in a field of study that includes no known cases and, as Mr Halsted was saying, incongruity is the very stuff of hu a ive you an exa at his beer Bob walks in, looks at Jack and says, &039;What&039;s the matter?&039; Says Jack, &039;My wife ran aithabout? I&039;m your best friend&039; And Jack says, &039;Not anyhter and even Trumbull condescended to smile
"You see," said Halsted, "you&039;re allowed to assurief until the last three - "
"We got it, Rog," said Rubin "No need to belabor it"
"Or take the following - "
"Praise the Lord," said Trulass "Henry, make mine a double brandy - Oh, you have!"
"Yes, sir," said Henry, blandly, "I anticipated the need when Mr Halsted began to quote limericks"
"I&039;ve already remembered you in my will, Henry, and more of these sessions will hasten your role as beneficiary - What?"
"I said," said Drake, patiently, "that I would like you to do the honors, Toist"
"My pleasure," said Tru sip - Ah Now, Mr Magnus, it is usual for us to begin by asking a guest to justify his existence but I will eneral - How does your role as exobiologist justify your existence?"
Magnus se?"
"For yourself, certainly, and for me, maybe - but your researches draw heavily on the public purse How do you justify your existence to the taxpayer?"
"I wish I could, Mr Truh to be heard - "Sir, the world pays out 400 billion dollars each year for its various sets of ar certainty of destruction Let us have one tenth of one percent of that to gain whatthe Universe"
Avalon shook his head severely and said, "That won&039;t work, Dr Magnus The public sees national defense as their security against invasion and oppression by hated foreigners They , but what have you to offer instead? What if you do discover life on Mars? Who cares? Why should anyone care?"
Magnus sighed "Somehow I didn&039;t expect Philistinism here"
Avalon said, "I plead the Philistine case on behalf of my exorbitant tax bill What is your answer?"
"That your tax bill is exorbitant for reasons that have nothing to do with exobiology or science and a great deal to do with folly and corruption, ide If we did discover life on Mars, which, since the Viking landings, is unlikely, then no matter how simple it is, it will offer us for observation, for the first time, a life structure not in any way related to ourselves
"All life forms on Earth, plant, animal, bacterial, and viral, are built around the same scheme; all the two million or so species are interconvertible in the sense that any one of them can be part of a food chain that ends in any other Martian life, however siht be, would instantly double the varieties of life we knoith results of possibly incalculable benefits to the biologist and, of course, to all of us After all, the better we can understand life, the better our chances for such things as disease cure and life extension"
Rubin interposed "But the fact is that there is probably no life on Mars, however sinus said, "The odds now are that there isn&039;t"
"Or anywhere in the Solar System"
"Possibly not"
"And if there were, it ht after all be built on the same plan as is Earth life"
"That is conceivable"
"And if it isn&039;t, the difference may not help us understand ourselves at all"
"I would hate to believe that, but I suppose thatthe devil&039;s advocate, wouldn&039;t you say that the odds you offer aren&039;t worth the money you ask?"
Trumbull said, "Manny, it&039;s worse than that I don&039;t think exobiology concerns itself with the Solar Systenals of intelligent origin fro other stars, yes," said Magnus
"And wouldn&039;t that cost millions of dollars?"
"Many millions if done properly"
"And if we locate this life and draw their attention to us, then what? Do they invade us and take us over? Is that e&039;ll pay those nus allowed a look of impatience to cross his face "In the first place," he said, "we areThe process is SETI, &039;search for extraterrestrial intelligence&039; If we receive signals, we need not try to answer, if we do not wish to In the second place, the chances are that if we do receive signals, the source will be anywhere froht - years away That means it will take thee we send theer wouldn&039;t seem to be imminent In the third place, even if they could ht and wanted to reach us, we have no reason to suppose conquest and destruction are what they have inour own bestiality to theiven away our existence We have been leaking electroht decades and the leakage has been growing steadily more intense every year So they&039;ll knoe&039;re here if they want to listen And in the fifth place - " He stopped suddenly
Truh you have h the list"
"I do," said Magnus
"Then why did you stop? Have you forgotten the fifth place?"
"No, it is, in fact, the easiest one to re millions of dollars, you see, so the taxpayer has no worries for either his bankroll or his life In point of fact, we&039;re spending al"
Rubin said, "What about Project Cyclops? - Over a thousand radio telescopes conals froht - years, one by one Don&039;t tell me that won&039;t cost a fortune"
"Of course it would, and a bargain, too, at alent origin at all, who can tell what bizarre and unexpected discoveries ill make e probe the Universe with an instru we use now?"
"Exactly," said Rubin "Who can tell? No one For it uing," said Magnus "It&039;s very doubtful we&039;d ever get the necessary funds voted us by Congress So far, it&039;s been hard enough to get the money for some of us to attend international conferences on the subject and even that may be phased out, thanks to the damndest set of circumstances" A spasm of unhappiness crossed his face
There was a short silence and then Avalon, drawing his forether said, "Would you care to describe the circunus?"
"There&039;s notof suspicion that won&039;t lift and that plays right into the hands of the millions - for - defense - but - not - one - cent - for - survival band of fools"
Gonzalo looked delighted "A dull fog of suspicion is just e like to hear Tell us the details"
"It would scarcely be discreet to do so"
Tru said here is ever repeated outside We are all discreet and that includes our esteemed waiter, Henry"
"When I say it would not be discreet to tell you the details," said Magnus, sadly, "I a to my own folly I am afraid it is I who caused the trouble and I find it e to discuss"
"If that&039;s what&039;s bothering you," said Truood for the soul and even if it weren&039;t, the condition of the dinner, as Ji"
"He told o," said Magnus, "we held an internationalfor those interested in SETI in New Brunswick, in Canada The Soviets sent a sizable contingent of soht astronomers, and, of course, we ourselves were present in force as were Canadians, British, French, Australians, Japanese, and a scattering of others, including a few Eastern Europeans
"There were also auxiliary personnel - translators, for instance, though lish Oddly enough, the purest and arian delegate, who sounded perfectly Ohio at our social gatherings, but insisted on speaking Bulgarian and using an interpreter in the formal sessions, perhaps to show his orthodox side to the Soviets - but that&039;s neither here nor there
"Included also were, I aers ere, in actual fact, part of their security apparatus I am equally certain that American security personnel were also present"
Gonzalo said, "What for, Mr Magnus? Where&039;s the danger in listening to the stars? Are the Soviets afraid we&039;ll ainst them?"
"Or vice versa?" asked Halsted, dryly
Magnus said, "No, but knowledge is indivisible Those of us who are experts on radio astronos as reconnaissance satellites and killer satellites, and on handling,electronic reconnaissance Both sides, therefore, would be anxious to prevent their ownindiscreet and to trap their opposite nu overtalkative"
Avalon said, "It seems to me that security would be helpless in such matters Could a CIA operative knohen an astrono indiscreet when he probably couldn&039;t understand the subject nus said, "You underestio Then, too, actual astronoht double as security I na into that any further Would you go on, Dr Magnus?"
"Certainly," said Magnus "I have stressed the total size of the delegation in order to explain that we could not all be housed in one place In fact, the New Brunswick site, although suitable as a quasi - neutral spot - an earlier h beautiful and isolated, to say nothing of possessing tennis courts and a swi Personnel were rather widely scattered and the Canadian government supplied transportation