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"You’re not like me at all"

Rachel opens herelse, but at that moment Carol comes to the door Her face is flushed and red and her hair is sticking up at strange angles, but when she speaks she sounds calht," she says in a low voice to Rachel "Everything’s been settled"

"Thank God," Rachel says Then, grily"

"Do they ever?" Carol asks drily Then she disappears again

Carol’s tone of voice has frightened me I try to sit up on my elbows, but my arms feel like they’ve been turned to Jell-O "What’s settled?" I ask, surprised to hear that my voice sounds slurry

Rachel looks at me for a second "I told you, we just want you to be safe," she says flatly

"What did you settle?" Panic is filling me, made even worse by the si over le to keep my eyes open

"Your procedure" That’s Carol She has just stepped back into the rooet you in early

You’ll have your cure on Sunday, first thing in theAfter that, we hope, you’ll be okay"

"Iht hours from now No time to alert Alex--no ti "I won’t do it" My voice doesn’t even sound like roan

"Someday you’ll understand," Carol says Both she and Rachel are advancing toward , stretched between them, coils of nylon cord "Someday you’ll thank us"

I try to thrash out but my body is impossibly heavy and habout the Advil--and then I think, That hurts, as sos deep intoat all

Chapter Twenty-Six

"here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope orthe stars apart i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)"

--From "i carry your heart with s, banned, listed in the Coerous Words and Ideas,

When I wake up again it’s because sole into consciousness I see wisps of blond hair, like a halo, and for a confusedand heaven isn’t just for the cured

Then Hana’s features sharpen, and I realize she’s leaning over"Can you hear"Thank God,"

she says She’s keeping her voice to a whisper and she looks frightened "You were so still I thought for a minute that you--that they--" She breaks off "How do you feel?"

"Shitty," I croak loudly, and Hana winces and looks over her shoulder I notice a shadow flitting just outside the bedroo uard duty Probably both

My headache is slightly better, at least, although now there’s a searing pain in both of y, and I try to adjustCarol, and Rachel, and the nylon cord, and realizing that both of my arms are stretched above my head and secured to the headboard, like a real honest-to-God prisoner The anger coain, waves of it, followed by panic as I remember what Carol said: My procedure has been

I swivel h the thin plastic blinds, which have been dran over the s, lighting up dust le to sit up and yelp as the cords bite farther into my wrists "What day is it?"

"Shhh" Hana pressesme there as I squirm underneath her "It’s Saturday

Three o’clock"

"You don’t understand" Every word grates againstme to the labs tomorrow They movedatimportant "I cale has left ainst the pillows My left arht and the nuis hopeless I’ve lost Alex forever

"How did you hear?" I ask Hana

"Everyone’s talking about it" She gets up, goes to her bag, and ru out a water bottle Then she comes back and kneels by the bed so we’re eye-to-eye "Drink this," she says "It will make you feel better" She has to hold the bottle topast caring