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"I’ve been too weak to fight it," I confessed No ," he iht here, right now, an urgency in his voice and body that made me lean in "Each of us should be able to be both whenever we need to be The probleet to be weak or strong Life doesn’t work that way It’s unfair and cruel and the best you can do is to recognize that fact and shore yourself up Where it gets hard is when you need to be weak and can’t Then it’s brutal You go into a core inside yourself where you build walls and feel like telling the world to fuck off because you don’t get what you desperately need"

He sighed, ran his shaking hand through his hair and looked atfor release I felt so helpless All I could do was listen That had to be enough

"Vulnerability," he continued "Weakness It’s not a sin to be weak It’s the opposite, in fact: it’s a black es the very essence of whatdeep in me

The only way to keep him here seemed to be with a kiss, one that could pin him in place

Forever

Or, at least, tonight

As ourto touch his war to connect on soentle and then ent, I wanted to make the past few days disappear, to have Sam bury himself in me, to wind h a co words could ever express

He took my boldness as permission, his own hands underin frequency, the urgency dialed down to mere affection

"What?" I murmured, confused

"Is this what you want, A in stark relief how strong and row on that face, a woman could see true love in those eyes, and a lover could know she was the center of his universe if she would let hiht the hitch inainst the orn cotton shirt he wore, hip against his taut abs, his shoulder a place for my head to rest

Sniff "I do want you," I insisted "But you’re right Not now Not like this" Plus,no AppleCare plan covers I was still sore

"I wouldn’t want anything ether for the right reasons Not out of sorrow or sadness I’uy?

No Just no

The conversation had drifted without Saerous territory How vulnerable could I really be with Sam? How much truth could one relationship handle?

It was e of, because I wanted what Lia of sorts, like being baptized and reborn

Sam must have felt me stiffen, because he pulled back and looked at ?"

Sigh "How honest are we being?"

"Is this twenty questions?"

"You only need to ask me two questions" Would he take the hint?

Puzzled, he opened his ot it "Ah Then you need to ask ht questions"

"Are the eight anyone I know?" No one likes to play the "what’s your nua his head "Any of yours?"

Nodding ot it

"Liarowl

Then a whispered roar

"And it was just like this, Sa and sad and heabout this? Way to ruin a mood Open mouth, insert foot

Or phone Or whatever

"Why are you tellinghis hands from me, he took a step back, but didn’t seery? No

"Because you just saved ain It’s not that I didn’t want to sleep with Liaht, and--"

"Prorunt

"Yes"

"I wanted to go so bad," he mumbled

What?

"Huh?"

"I couldn’t"

"Why not?"

"It’s co I ignored it