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She said soainst my shoulder She pulled back "I don’t knohat to do"

My Dad’s voice echoed inside my head ‘You come home a winner You co other than what ht now, and it would be easy She wanted me, she invited me to prom, I wanted her back and I wanted all of this just as , I couldher if I lost, – she was that ripe I had that

The only way soive it to the it to ave it to my father I just had tooup and then, with a clarity I didn’t know I possessed, I knew exactly what I needed to do

I pulled her back fro turned into a pinpoint My hands on her, the soft swell of her body, s, my stomach in knots, the air between us was like its own little atoing in there, and I’ to do our best Nobody’s pulling any punches, nobody’s holding back Do you hear me?"

Relief That’s what showed in her eyes Relief "Yes," she whispered

I pulled back and got on my neutral debate face, which wasn’t all that different fro, wiping her tears aith the other

"May the best man win"

"Woman!" she interjected

"May the best debater win"

Amy

We walked like ere part of a funeral procession, out of that classroo sheet was taped in front of the cafeteria, and I felt people clapping me on the back, heard my name said a thousand times, saw my coach’s face as he spoke to me, animated and joyful, and then concerned and intense The cacophony around me was like a cloud or a pillow full of voices, and faces, and people What grounded me was the feel of Saer, inch of skin by inch, let go, leavingin a soup of overwhelm He faded off into the crowd, one last look atmuffled sounds to specific words My nairls saying "oh my God" and "what if?" But I had to beat Sam Sam What did this mean? What would this do? Would he hate me if I won? Would I hate him if he won?

He was so laid back and mellow in some ways, but I’d faced him before in a debate He was sharp Not in that weaselly way that Joe Ross could be, but sharp like a hunter, who could sit for days fully ca for that one perfect moment to pounce and win That was Sam’s style I’d seen it over the years and learned to adapt My own strategy against hiressive, and absolutely use no sarcasm Smile, fake as much confidence as I could, and meet him, mature ument

Different voices told er case I knew that Saative Itabout hio, I would have reveled in it I’d have been torn, but I’d have known that this was about the superior mind and who, under controlled conditions, could come out the victor Now? Who won in this scenario? It felt Pyrrhic; it felt i, in alla debate

Sam’s words echoed in my head It would be dishonorable to do that Even worse, it would cheapen hi the debate would say that I didn’t have the confidence that he was my equal or ht?

A keening rose up inside me as my coach opened up his portfolio and went over some key salient points in my case All I heard was the voice of the teacher in those Charlie Brown specials that ia for her own childhood Mah, h, was a whole other universe Sa That heart and that desire I could feel it pounding intoin me would have to shut down in order to look him in the eye, to read my case, to cross examine thisto do this? That thought, hoas I going to do this?to control the tears and focus, or at least pretend to look like I was focusing on whatHe closed the portfolio, clapped n that whatever he had been saying was over

Debaters filed out and I knehat they were doing These final runoffs were open to anyone who could get a seat, as long as they were quiet during the debate Half the girls fro to co that I was interested in Sam, and some of them simply wanted to watch hiuy as quiet and shy, he had a little bit of a following of girls crushing on hiotten a kiss

When I got to the door he was already in there, his head down, reading over his papers He looked up and gave ht s in uy in the whole orld who ive it my all, I’d lettrue to me would, ironically, have to be the ultimate sacrifice

Sa words were out of her hts of the ht to supersede those of the minority," I kneas over

Over

Her opening case was brilliant,case was outstanding, and it was like volleying a ball back and forth, to and fro, as if ere perfor sparkled between us I could feel it There was a high to it, the way you get when you’re on a sports tea basketball, and everyone’s smooth, and the passes are perfect, and the dribble, and the motion, and the jump, and the release – it all just flows