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Hercules snarled "Don’t get et anything right Have you seen one movie about me where I look like me?"

Piper had to ad"

"Ha! Being immortal helps But, yes, I wasn’t so old when I died Not bymy years as a hero…too much, really" His eyes drifted to Jason "Son of Zeus, eh?"

"Jupiter," Jason said

"Notin either for and nah lately just thinking about it givesheadaches…"

The left side of his face twitched His robes shi white, then back to purple

"At any rate," Hercules said, "if you’re Jupiter’s son, you h is never enough Eventually it can uy snap"

He turned to Piper She felt like a thousand ants were crawling up her back There was a mixture of sadness and darkness in his eyes that seemed not quite sane, and definitely not safe

"As for you, my dear," Hercules said, "be careful Sons of Zeus can be…well, never mind"

Piper wasn’t sure what that od as possible, but she tried to maintain a calm, polite expression

"So, Lord Hercules," she said, "we’re on a quest We’d like permission to pass into the Mediterranean"

Hercules shrugged "That’s why I’m here After I died, Dad made me the doorkeeper of Olympus I said, Great! Palace duty! Party all the ti the doors to the ancient lands, stuck on this island for the rest of eternity Lots of fun"

He pointed at the pillars rising from the surf "Stupid columns Some people clai mountains apart Some people say the ean ht," Piper said "Naturally So…can we pass?"

The god scratched his fashionable beard "Well, I have to give you the standard warning about how dangerous the ancient lands are Not just any deod can survive the Mare Nostruive you a quest to complete Prove your worth, blah, blah, blah Honestly, I don’tsi, that sort of thing After all those labors I had to complete for uy, you know?"

"Appreciate it," Jason said

"Hey, no proble, but he still lint in his eyes reo up at a moment’s notice

"So anyway," Hercules said, "what’s your quest?"

"Giants," Jason said "We’re off to Greece to stop the Gaea"

"Giants," Hercules od hero…ah, but never od put you up to this--Dad? Athena? Maybe Aphrodite?" He raised an eyebrow at Piper "As pretty as you are, I’ that’s yourfaster, but Hercules had unsettled her Too late, she realized the conversation had become a ht us together to--"

"Hera" Suddenly Hercules’s expression was like the cliffs of Gibraltar--a solid, unforgiving sheet of stone

"We hate her too," Piper said quickly Gods, why hadn’t it occurred to her? Hera had been Hercules’s ive us much choice, but--"

"But here you are," Hercules said, all friendliness gone "Sorry, you two I don’t care hoorthy your quest is I don’t do anything that Hera wants Ever"

Jason looked ht you od"

"Like I said," Hercules gru you hear If you want to pass into the Mediterranean, I’ive you an extra-hard quest"

"But we’re like brothers," Jason protested "Hera’s messed with my life, too I understand--"

"You understand nothing," Hercules said coldly "My first family: dead My life wasted on ridiculous quests My second wife dead, after being tricked into poisoningot to becoet atekeeper, a doorman, a…a butler for the Olyod who understands me even a little bit is Dionysus And at least he invented so to show except bad film adaptations of my life"

Piper turned on the charo easy on us We’re not bad people"

She thought she’d succeeded Hercules hesitated Then his jaw tightened, and he shook his head "On the opposite side of this island, over those hills, you’ll find a river In the od Achelous"

Hercules waited, as if this infor in terror

"And… ?" Jason asked