Page 20 (1/2)
Exhausted and exhilarated, Stella stepped into the house Though it was past their bedti, but had to make do with an ecstatic Parker She picked him up, kissed his nose as he tried to bathe her face
"Guess what, irl"
She shoved at her hair, and iuilts Roz had left the hospital before she had, and was probably upstairs dealing with the kids
She started toward the steps when Logan strolled into the foyer "Big day"
"The biggest," she agreed She hadn&039;t considered he&039;d be there, and was suddenly and acutely aware that her duties as labor coach had sweated off all of her ine she was s, her freshest
"I can&039;t thank you enough for taking on the boys"
"No probleood holes out of them You ot more Is Roz up with them?"
"No She&039;s in the kitchen David&039;s back there whipping sone"
"More chane? We practically swao up and settle down the troops"
"They&039;re out for the count Have been since just before nine Digging holes wears athem back when I called to tell you about the baby, but I didn&039;t expect you to put them to bed"
"They were tuckered We had ourselves a manly shower, then they crawled into bed and were out in under five seconds"
"Well I owe you big"
"Pay up"
He crossed to her, slid his ar head lifted off her shoulders
"Tired?" he asked
"Yeah But in the best possible way"
He danced his fingers over her hair, and kept his other arm around her "How&039;s the new kid on the block and her reat Hayley&039;s a wonder Steady as a rock through seven hours of labor And the baby h like a chah it tookto convince him to come out"
"Make you want to have another?"
She went a few shades more pale "Oh Well"
"Now I&039;ve scared you" Ao see what&039;s on the ne"
He hadn&039;t scared her, exactly But he hada relationship, and thesubtle hints about babies
Of course, it could have been just a natural, offhand remark under the circumstances Or a kind of joke
Whatever the intent, it got her thinking Did she want more children? She&039;d crossed that possibility off her list when Kevin died and had ruthlessly shut down her biological clock Certainly she was capable, physically, of having another child But it tooka child into the world
She had two healthy, active children And was solely and wholly responsible for the another e, a future, sharing not only what she had but building more, and in a different direction
She&039;d come to Tennessee to visit her own roots, and to plant her fains To be near her father, and to allow her children the pleasure of being close to grandparents anted to know them
Her mother had never been particularly interested, hadn&039;t enjoyed seeing herself as a grandht
If a an had blipped onto her ht up
And if that&039;s why Stella was hesitating, it was a sad state of affairs Undoubtedly part of it, though, she decided Otherwise she wouldn&039;t be thinking it
She hadn&039;t disliked any of her stepfathers But she hadn&039;t bonded with them either, or they with her How old had she been the first tie, she reht
She&039;d been plucked out of her school and plunked down in a new one, a new house, new neighborhood, and dazed by it all while hera new husband
That one had lasted, what? Three years, four? Somewhere between, she decided, with another year or so of upheaval while her mother dealt with the battle and debris of divorce, another new place, a new job, a new start
And another new school for Stella
After that, herstretch But that itself had been another kind of upheaval, having to survive her mother&039;s mad dashes into love, her eventual bitter exit from it
And they were always bitter, Stella ree, living on her ohen her ain And e had lasted nearly a decade There hadn&039;t been a child to crowd things Yet eventually there&039;d been another acri with her ohood
It had been a horrible year, in every possible hich her e
Strange that even as an adult, Stella found she couldn&039;t quite forgive being so consistently put into second or even third place behind herthat with her own children, she assured herself She wasn&039;t being selfish and careless in her relationship with Logan, or shuffling her kids to the back of her heart because she was falling in love with hi awfully fast It would s down a bit until she had a better picture
Besides, she was going to be too busy to think about et he hadn&039;t asked her to marry hi an offhand coet back on track She rose from her desk and started for the door It opened before she reached it
"I was just going to find you," she said to Roz "I&039;m on my way to pick up the new fao with you I nearly postponed this lanced at her watch as if considering it again
"By the tiie, they&039;ll be all settled in and ready for some quality time with Aunt Roz"
"I have to admit I wantabout?"
"Fretting?" Stella opened a desk drawer to retrieve her purse "Why do you think I&039;ve been fretting about anything?"
"Your watch is turned around, whichat it Whichon around here I don&039;t know about?"
"No" Annoyed with herself, Stella turned her watch around "No, it&039;s nothing to do ork I was thinking about Logan, and I was thinking about an have to do with your mother?" As she asked, Roz picked up Stella&039;s ther a sniff, she poured a fes of iced coffee in the lid
"Nothing I don&039;t know Do you want afor that?"
"No, this is fine Just want a taste"
"I think - I sense - I&039;and I already sound like an ass" Stella took a lipstick fro to the an to freshen her an"
"As I&039;ve got eyes, I&039;ve seen that for myself Do you want me to say and, or do you want me to mind my own business?"
"And I don&039;t know if I&039;m ready for serious I don&039;t know that he is, either It&039;s surprising enough it turned out we like each other, much less " She turned back "I&039;ve never felt like this about anyone Not this churned up and edgy, and, well, fretful"
She replaced the lipstick and zipped the bag shut "With Kevin, everything was so clear We were young and in love, and there wasn&039;t a single barrier to get over, not really It wasn&039;t that we never fought or had problems, but it was all relatively sier you live, the ets"
"Yes I&039; that line from this is mine to this is ours That sounds incredibly selfish when I say it out loud"
"Maybe, but I&039;d say it&039;s pretty normal"
"Maybe Roz, my mother was - is - a mess I know, in my head, that a lot of the decisions I&039;ve made have been because I knew they were the exact opposite of what she&039;d have done That&039;s pathetic"
"I don&039;t know that it is, not if those decisions were right for you"
"They were They have been But I don&039;t want to step away froht be wonderful just because I know ht"
"Honey, I can look at you and remember what it was like, and the both of us can look at Hayley and wonder how she has the courage and fortitude to raise that baby on her own"
Stella let out a little laugh "God, isn&039;t that the truth?"
"And since it&039;s turned out the three of us have connected as friends, we can give each other all kinds of support and advice and shoulders to cry on But the fact is, each one of us has to get through e get through Me, I expect you&039;ll figure this out soon enough Figuring out how to ht&039;s what you do"
She set the therht pats on the cheek "Well, I&039; to scoot home and clean up a bit"
"Thanks, Roz Really If Hayley&039;s doing all right once I get thee I knoe&039;re shorthanded around here today"
"No, you stay hos here It&039;s not every day you bring a new baby ho Roz considered as she hunted for parking near Mitchell Carnegie&039;s don apartood many years since there had been an infant in Harper House Just hoould the Harper Bride deal with that?
Hoould they all deal with it?
Hoould she herself handle the idea of her firstborn falling for that sweet single irl? She doubted that Harper kneas sliding in that direction, and surely Hayley was clueless But a s; a mother could read the else to think about some other ti
She had to hoof it nearly three blocks and cursed again because she&039;d felt obliged to wear heels Now her feet were going to hurt, and she&039;d have to wastewas done
She was going to be late, which she deplored, and she was going to arrive hot and sweaty
She would have loved to have passed theshe could ask a er to do It dealt with her home, her faranted for far too long
She paused at the coht
"Roz!"
The voice on the single syllable had her hackles rising Her face was cold as hell frozen over as she turned and stared at - stared through - the sliaht that was you Nobody else could look so lovely and cool on a hot afternoon"
He reached out, this ripped her hand in both of his "Don&039;t you look gorgeous!"
"You&039;re going to want to let go ofto find yourself facedown and eating sidewalk The only one who&039;ll be embarrassed by that eventuality is yourself"
His face, with its smooth tan and clear features, hardened "I&039;d hoped, after all this time, we could be friends"
"We&039;re not friends, and never will be" Quite deliberately, she took a tissue out of her purse and wiped the hand he&039;d touched "I don&039;t count lying, cheating sons of bitches a my friends"
"A iveness with a woht I believe that&039;s the first tiht in your whole miserable life"
She started across the street, ned than surprised when he fell into step beside her He wore a pale gray suit, Italian in cut Canali, if she wasn&039;t ner of thethe bills
"I don&039;t see why you&039;re still upset, Roz, honey Unless there are still feelings inside you for ust being paramount Go away before I call a cop and have you arrested for being a personal annoyance"
"I&039;d just like another chance to - "
She stopped then "That will never happen in this lifetirateful you&039;re able to walk the streets in your expensive shoes, Bryce, and that you&039;re wearing a tailored suit instead of a prison jumpsuit"
"There&039;s no cause to talk to ot what you wanted, Roz You cut me off without a dime"