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Guilt tugged at Stella as she buzzed hoan No, not date, she corrected as she jumped into the shower It wasn&039;t a date unless there were plans This was a drop-by
So now they&039;d had an outing, a date, and a drop-by It was the strangest relationship she&039;d ever had
But whatever she called it, she felt guilty She wasn&039;t the one giving her kids their eveningto their day&039;s adventures while they ate
It wasn&039;t that she had to be with theht as she ju wasn&039;t good for them - or for her It wasn&039;t as if they&039;d starve if she wasn&039;t the one to put food in front of them
But still, it seeive them over to someone else&039;s care just so she could be with a s went as she expected
Sorry, kids, Mo to go have some hot, sweaty sex
God
She slathered on creauilt
Maybe she should put it off Unquestionably she was rushing this step, and that wasn&039;t like her When she did things that weren&039;t like her, it was usually a mistake
She was thirty-three years old, and entitled to a physical relationship with a man she liked, a man who stirred her up, a man, who it turned out, she had considerable in coust, she reminded herself and winced Thirty-four wasn&039;t early thirties anymore It wasto think about that Forget the nurooht, and tugged on her robe so she could work on her face Grown, single wole man Mutual interests between them, reasonable sense of companionship Intense sexual tension
How could a wo what it would be like to have a man&039;s hands -
"Mom!"
She stared at her partiallywas like un fire on the bathroom door
"Mom! Can I come in? Can I? Mom!"
She pulled open the door herself to see Luke, rosy with rage, his fists bunched at his side "What&039;s theat me"
"Oh, Luke"
"With the face, Mom Withtheface"
She knew the face well It was the squinty-eyed, sned to torment his brother She knew damn well he practiced it in,the mirror
"Just don&039;t look back at him"
"Then hepuff, which Gavin could keep up for hours if called for Stella was certain that even the ent would crack under its brutal power
"All right" How the hell was she supposed to gear herself up for sex when she had to referee? She swung out of the bath, through the boys&039; roo room across the hall, where she&039;d hoped her sons could spend the twentycartoons
Foolish woht Foolish, foolish woman
Gavin looked up from his sprawl on the floor when she came in His face was the picture of innocence under his mop of sunny hair
Haircuts next week, she decided, and noted it in her mental files
He held a Matchbox car and was absently spinning its wheels while cartoons raed on the screen There were several other cars piled up, lying on their sides or backs as if there&039;d been a horrendous traffic accident Unfortunately the miniature ambulance and police car appeared to have had a nasty head-on collision
Help was not on the way
"Mom, your face looks crooked"
"Yes, I know Gavin, I want you to stop it"
"I&039;"
She felt, actually felt, the sharp edges of the shrill scream razor up her throat Choke it back, she ordered herself Choke it back She would not scream at her kids the way her mother had screamed at her
"Maybe you&039;d like to not do anything in your roo"
"I wasn&039;t - "
"Gavin!" She cut off the denial before it dragged that screaht and aggravation "Don&039;t look at your brother Don&039;t hiss at your brother You know it annoys him, which is exactly why you do it, and I want you to stop"
Innocence turned into a scowl as Gavin rale of disabled vehicles "How coet in trouble?"
"Yes, how come?" Stella shot back, with equal exasperation
"He&039;s just being a baby"
"I&039;m not a baby You&039;re a dickhead"
"Luke!" Torn between laughter and shock, Stella rounded on Luke "Where did you hear that word?"
"Somewhere Is it a swear?"
"Yes, and I don&039;t want you to say it again" Even when it&039;s apt, she thought as she caught Gavinthe face
"Gavin, I can cancelWould you like me to do that, and stay home?" She spoke in cal your roounned, he poked at the pileup "I won&039;t look at hiht with you, I&039;ll go finish getting ready"
She heard Luke whisper, "What&039;s a dickhead?" to Gavin as she walked out Rolling her eyes to the ceiling, she kept going
"They&039;re at each other tonight, " Stella warned Roz
"Wouldn&039;t be brothers if they weren&039;t at each other now and then" She looked over to where the boys, the dog, and Hayley roht now"
"It&039;s brewing, under the surface, like a volcano One of theht moment to spew over the other"
"We&039;ll see if we can distract theet out of hand, I&039;ll just chain theet back I kept the shackles I used on hed, and felt completely reassured "Okay But you&039;ll call me if they decide to be horrible brats I&039;ll be home in time to put them to bed"
"Go, enjoy yourself And if you&039;re not back, we can e it"
"You make it too easy," Stella told her
"No need for it to be hard You kno to get there now?"
"Yes That&039;s the easy part"
She got in her car, gave a little toot of the horn and a wave They&039;d be fine, she thought, watching in the rearview as her boys turound with Parker She couldn&039;t have driven away if she wasn&039;t sure of that
It was tougher to be sure she&039;d be fine
She could enjoy the drive The early-spring breeze sang through the s to play across her face Tender green leaves hazed the trees, and the redbuds and wild dogwoods teased out blooms to add flashes of color
She drove past the nursery and felt the quick zip of pride and satisfaction because she was a part of it now
Spring had come to Tennessee, and she was here to experience it With her n and the wind streaht she could sreat and powerful, contrasting with the sweet perfunolia
Contrasts, she supposed, were the order of the day now The dreath of the place that was now her ho while the world she&039;d left behind still shoveled snow
Herself, a careful, practical-natured wo to the bed of aseeer Blue dahlias, she decided Her life, like her drean
For tonight at least, she was going to let it bloo her mind with how they would handle the weekend rush at the nursery
Though "rush," she admitted, wasn&039;t precisely the word No one, staff or customer, seemed to rush - unless she counted herself
They came, they meandered, browsed, conversed, aracious-ness and a lot more conversation
The slower pace soet the job done But the fact that it often took twice as long to ring up an order than it should - in her opinion - didn&039;t bother anyone
She had to reer was to blend efficiency with the culture of the business she ed
One more contrast
In any case, the work schedule she&039;d set would ensure that there were enough hands and feet to serve the customers She and Roz had already poured another dozen concrete planters, and would dress theood eye
Her father and Jolene were going to take the boys on Saturday, and that she couldn&039;t feel guilty about, as all involved were thrilled with the arrangement
She needed to check on the supply of plastic trays and carrying boxes, oh, and take a look at the field plants, and
Her thoughts trailed off when she saw the house She couldn&039;t say what she&039;d been expecting, but it hadn&039;t been this
It was gorgeous
A little run-down, perhaps, a little tired around the edges, but beautiful Bursting with potential
Two stories of silvered cedar stood on a terraced rise, the weathered wood broken by generous s On the wide, covered- porch - she supposed it , a high-backed bench Pots and baskets of floere arranged a them
On the side, a deck jutted out, and she could see a short span of steps leading from it to a pretty patio
More chairs there,in love - then the land took over again and spread out to a lovely grove of trees
He was doing shrubberies in the terraces - Japanese androlossy-leaved bay laurels, the fountaining old-fashioned weigela, and a su to explode into bloo the car forward, clever and creative to put phlox and candytuft and ground junipers on the lowest terrace to base the shrubs and spill over the wall
He&039;d planted nolia, still tender with youth, and a dogwood bloo cherry
Some of these were the very trees he&039;d ha the first tis for him that it made her smile to remember that?
She pulled into the drive beside his truck and studied the land
There were stakes, with thin rope riding the pattern from drive to porch Yes, she sahat he had in mind A lazy ay to the porch, which he would probably anchor with other shrubs or dwarf trees Lovely She spotted a pile of rocks and thought he arden There, just at the edge of the trees, would be perfect
The house needed its trim painted, and the fieldstone that rose froarden over there, she thought as she stepped out, naturalized daffodils just inside the trees And along the road, she&039;d do ground cover and shrubs, and plant daylilies,should be painted, too, and there should be a table there - and there A garden bench near the weeping cherry, stone, perhaps Or pretty stepping-stones withbetween them
She stopped herself as she stepped onto the porch He&039;d have his own plans, she reminded herself His house, his plans No matter how much the place called to her, it wasn&039;t hers
She still had to find hers
She took a breath, fluffed a hand through her hair, and knocked
It was a long wait, or it seeer Nerves began to tap-dance in her belly as she stood there in the early-evening breeze
When he opened the door, she had to paint an easy sth of him clad in faded jeans and a white T-shirt His hair was mussed; she&039;d never seen it any other way There was too ht, to be tidy And tidy would never suit him
She held out the pot of dahlias she&039;d put together "I&039;ve had dahlias on the mind," she told him "I hope you can use them"
"I&039;m sure I can Thanks Coan, "and what you&039;re doing with it I caught- "
She stopped The door led directly into what she supposed was a living room, or family room Whatever it was, it was completely empty The space consisted of bare dry-wall, scarred floors, and a smoke-stained brick fireplace with no ?"
"Great views" It was all she could think of, and true enough Those generous s brought the outdoors in It was too bad it was so sad
"I&039;ht now"
"Obviously"
"I&039;ve got plans for it down the road, when I get the time, and the inclination Why don&039;t you co"
"Was it like this, when you bought it?"
"Inside?" He shrugged a shoulder as he walked back through a doorway into whatroo wallpaper She could see brighter squares on it where pictures
"Wall-to-wall carpet over these oak floors," he told her "Leak upstairs had water stains all over the ceiling And there was soe Tore out the walls last winter"
"What&039;s this space?"
"Haven&039;t decided yet"
He went through another door, and Stella let out a whistle of breath
"Figured you&039;d be more coranite counter and just leaned back to let her look
It was his mark on the kitchen, she had no doubt It was essentially ly done The sand tones of the counters were echoed in the tiles on the floor and offset by a deeper taupe on the walls Cabinets were a dark, rich ith pebbled-glass doors There were herbs growing in small terra-cotta pots on the wide sill over the double sinks, and a small stone hearth in the corner