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The smell of Eddie, even from four blocks away, is clear to me Not that he makes any effort to sneak up on me I assume this is because he values his mother&039;s life as much as his own His car stays at the speed limit He parks out front Two sets of feet come up the porch steps Eddie actually payson the far end of the living rooun to Mom&039;s head, I call for them to come in
The door opens
Eddie has broken both of Joel&039;s arent&039;s side Despite his intense pain, Joel strives to appear calm, and I admire him for it He has ain, I have to tell myself that I cannot risk all of humanity for this one life Joel flashes h the door before Eddie But be has no need to apolo?gize to h he has done exactly what I told hie, in the face of almost certain death, is the rarest quality on earth
Eddie has found hiun, a 10-millimeter affair-standard FBI issue He keeps it close to Joel&039;s head and Joel&039;s body close to his own Eddie really does have a serious complexion problem It looks as if when he was an adolescent he tried to treat his problem acne with razor blades The experiment was a distinct failure But it is his eyes that are the scariest The green centers look like cheap emeralds that have been dipped in sulfuric acid and left out to dry in a radioactive dust storm The whites are more red than white; his eyes are notPerhaps a local pollen irritates theed hih, and his mother He flashes us both a toothy sernails around her throat, but she does appear relieved to see her darling boy
"Hi, Mom," Eddie says "Hi, Sita" He kicks the door closed behind hilad you were able toIt&039;s been pleasant talking to yourup in troubled times"
Eddie scowls "You&039;re a bitch, you know that? Here I try to be friendly in a difficult situation, and you try to insultto kill my boyfriend and myself an act of friendship," I say
"You drew first blood," Eddie says
"Only because I was quicker than your friends Drop the BS, Eddie, please Neither of us is here to kiss and make up"
"Why are we here?" Eddie asks "To play standoff again? That didn&039;t work so well for you last time"
"I don&039;t know I destroyed your silly gang"
Eddie snickers "You&039;re not sure of that"
I smile "Now I am sure You see, I can tell when soifts I possess that you don&039;t There is only you left, and we both know it"
"What of it? I can make more whenever I feel the need"
"Why do you feel the need? So that you can always have someone to order about? And while we&039;re on the subject, what is your ultioal? To replace all of huically, you&039;ll see that it won&039;t work You cannotleft to hunt"
Eddie appears ent but not wise His vision is sharp but also myopic; he does not look beyond next week Then, just like that, he is angry again His teoing to work on hi to confusea good time and that&039;s all I care about"
I snort "Well, at least noe understand your priorities"
He grows inpatient Pulling Joel tighter, he digs his thu the skin "Let o," he orders
I act casual, even as I dig my nail into his mother&039;s neck "You have a probleuy You can kill hiive me orders"
He tries to stare aze but no control "I don&039;t believe you will just kill an innocent woman," he says
"She bore you," I say "She&039;s not innocent"
In response Eddie pricks Joel&039;s neck The ice-creaood feel for deep-rooted veins The flow of blood is immediate and thick Joel shifts uneasily but does not try to shake free, which he probably knows is ia I have a card upAll I have is Krishna&039;s abstract tale But as Joel feels his life draining away, soak?ing his white shirt a tragic red, I understand his need to speak Yet he has finally begun to grasp the stakes of this particular pot and is not afraid to die
"He&039;s not going to let me walk out of here alive, Sita," Joel says "You know that Take your best shot and be done with it"
The advice is sound Using Mom as a shield, I can simply open fire The only trouble is Joel is not Ray He will not heal in a matter of minutes He will certainly die, and still I won&039;t be sure of killing Ed?die This probleht and save the day without destroying the very thing the day is lived for I hesitate amy nail deep into Moasp Warers Which pump will run out sooner? I honestly don&039;t know Mom shakes visibly in my arms and Eddie&039;s face darkens
"What do you want?" he deo," I say "I will let your o Then it will just be between the two of us, the way it should be"
"I will beat you to the draw," Eddie says
I arim "Maybe"
"There is noto release otiate You just want me dead"
"Well," I say
"Just use your gun," Joel says with feeling His blood drips off his shirt and onto his pants Eddie has opened the jugular I estimate Joel has three minutes to live He will be conscious for only half that Sluhtly, he leans back into Eddie, who has no trouble supporting hiles to remain calm, his color is white It is not easy to watch yourself bleed to death And what makes it worse is with his broken arms he can&039;t even raise a hand to press over his wound Naturally, Mo ers, but I keep the red juice co They will both die about the sa quick, or Eddie does
But I do not knohat to do
"Release him," I say
"No," Eddie says "Release in to panic instead I cannot stand by and watch Joel die Yes, I, ancient Sita, the scourge of Krishna, who has killed thousands Butnature has finally been rattled I ao Perhaps it is because of the loss of Ray and Yaksha, but the thought of another death on my hands chills me to the core A wave of nausea sweeps over me, and I see a red that is not there, a deeper red than even the color of blood A blotted sun sinking below the horizon at the end of the world It will be the end of humanity, I know, to surrender to this maniac, but the mathematics of human life suddenly won&039;t add up I cannot spend one life to protect five billion Not when that one life begins to wobble and sink before my eyes Joel&039;s blood now drips off the hem of his pants, onto the dusty floor Moown What is wrong with Eddie? Can&039;t he see the seconds ticking by? His mother cries in my arms, and I actually feel sorry for her Yeah, I know, I picked a wonderful time to turn into a softy
"In less than a minute your mother will be beyond help," I explain "But if you act noill heal her neck and let her go"
Eddie sneers "You can&039;t heal You can only kill"
I harden o I will do the saether, simultaneously"
Eddie shakes his head "You&039;re lying"
"Maybe,That&039;s a certainty" I pause "Can&039;t you see that?"
Eddie&039;s cheek twitches, but his will doesn&039;t "No," he says
Joel sags dangerously to one side and now has to be completely supported There are two pints of blood on his shirt, two on the floor His eyes are the color of baking soda He tries to tell et the words out
"Just shoot," he begs
God, do I want to A bullet in the brain to put Joel out of his misery, then another five bullets in Eddie, in more choice spots than at the Coliseum With his et off all six shots without taking a bullet ; the scale is about to break Moh blood in her veins to keep her heart froth left for her tears, however Why do they affectto welcome her on the other side, if there really is such a place Yet, ironical?ly, it is her very wretchedness thatwith me
I don&039;t knohat to do!
"Joel," I say, showing Eddie just how lousypain enter my voice "I didn&039;t want any of this"
"I know " He tries to smile, fails "You warned me"
"Eddie," I say
He likes to hear the weakness in my voice "Yes, Sita"
"You are a fool"
"You are a bitch"
I sigh "What do you want? Really? You can tell me that much at least"
He considers "Just what I have co to me"
"Christ" I want to throw up "They&039;ll kill you This planet is only so big There are only so many places to hide The human race will hunt you down and kill you"
He is cocky "Before they knohat&039;s happening, there won&039;t be "
Joel&039;s dripping blood is like a river, a torrential current I cannot free myself of no matter how hard I try Once upon a time I enjoyed such red floods, but that hen I believed they flowed into an ocean The endless sea of Krishna&039;s grace But where is he now? This great God who promised me his protection if I but obeyed his command? He is dead, drowned by the indifference of time and space like the rest of us
"Krishna," I whisper to myself "Krishna"
He does not appear before rip on Eddie&039;s mother The surrender is not an act of faith The despair I feel in this moment crushes the breath of either possibility The woer toward her son, with a twisted grin on her face that re son, she believes, has conquered again A sticky red trail follows her across the wood floor Bereft offor the shots that never come Of course, tis planned for me He waits while his mother comes to hi her bloodless ar Joel into one ar her
"Sunshine," Eddie replies