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Joel understands what I a My partner was like me, not normal Even severely injured, he could have healed But Joel shakes his head, and I know Ray was blown to pieces

"He&039;s dead," Joel says

"I understand" I sit up and cough weakly Joel brings lass to my lips, a drop of red stains the clear liquid But the color does not come from my mouth or nose It is a bloody tear Seldom have I ever cried This must be a special occasion

Joel hesitates "Was he your boyfriend?"

I nod

"I&039;m sorry"

The words really do not help me "Did both tank?ers, at both ends of the warehouse, blow?"

"Yes"

"Did you see anyone run out of the warehouse after the explosion?"

"No That would have been i through theout the charred bodies They&039;ve cordoned off the whole area" He pauses "Did you set those tank?ers to blow?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"To kill those inside They were your killers But I don&039;t want to talk about that now What about the other et away?"

"I don&039;t knohere he went He was just gone"

"Oh" That ot away

"Who was that uess"

"Edward Fender?"

I nod "Eddie"

Joel sits back and stares at o, and who now appears completely well except for a few bloody tears I note the dark sky through the cracked , the glow of neon signaling the beginning of another long night He wantsmyself the same question Why did it take five thousand years to find soain? Why was he then taken from me after only six weeks?

Why time and space, Krishna? You erect these walls around us and then close us in Especially when those we love leave us Then the walls are too high, and no matter how hard we jump, we cannot see beyond the in on us

I do not believeLife is a curse, and no one&039;s life has been longer than mine

"How did you heal so fast?" Joel asks me

"I told you, I am not nor?"

Wiping away my bloody tears, I chuckle bitterly

What was that into be different? How ironic-and foolish It was as if I were a child going to sleep at night and asking htmare

"Ordinarily I would say no," I reply "But since I&039; humans often do, then maybe I should say yes" I stare down at my red-stained hands and feel his eyes on them as well "What do you think?"

He takesto convince himself that reality has not suddenly developed a pronounced rip

"You&039;re bleeding You must still be injured"

I take my hand back and wave away his question "I aain These tears-I cannot stop the I touchthere is blood"

"Sita?"

I sit up sharply "Don&039;t callti you see before you! Thisthis bloody thing!" Notoveron the floor in a pile He must have peeled the the curtain farther aside, I stare out a landscape that looks as foreign froalaxy We cannot be far frohetto, still on the eneht now," I mutter

Joel stands at ht you so on a chair in the corner "I don&039;t know if they will fit"

"Thank you" I go to the corner and put theray sweatshirt They fit fine There are no shoes, but I don&039;t need the However, the leather strap that I used to secure it tois not there I put it in my back pocket instead It sticks out a few inches Joel follows oing to do?" he asks

"Find him Kill him"

Joel takes a step toward me "You have to talk to me"

I shake my head "I cannot I tried to talk to you on the pier, and you still followed ain But I understand that You&039;re just trying to do your job I&039; to do h, one way or the other"

He stops me as I reach for the knob Even after all he has seen of me He is a brave man I do not shake his hand from my arm Instead, I stare into his eyes, but without the intention of manipulation, the desire to control I stare at him so that he can stare attime, I feel so lonely So human He sees my pain

"What would you like ently

I make a face Without the mirror I don&039;t know if it is very pleasant "You may call me Sita if you wishJoel"

"I want to help you, Sita"

"You cannot help me I&039;ve explained to you why, and now you&039;ve seen why" I add, "I don&039;t want you to get killed"

He is anxious It"I don&039;t want you to get killed I may not have your special attributes, but I ao after hiun won&039;t stop hiun"

I sain I think what a fine man he is Consumed with doubts and questions, he still wants to do his duty He still wants to be with et," I say to him "You sa I affected theBut I don&039;t want to do it to you, even noant you just to get away froet any of this ever happened" I takeI can tell you, Joel"

He finally lets go of ain?" he asks

I am sad "I hope not And I don&039;t mean that cruelly Goodbye"

"Goodbye"

I walk out the door and close it behind ht is not as warm as I like it, nor is it cold, as I hate It is cool and dark, a fine tirieve for Ray Now there is too much to do