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I was going to be going away to school soon, I’d told myself He wanted to do this while he could

Standing on the roof, I reh wire It had looked so easy But it couldn’t really be that easy, could it? So I stepped along the narrow tiles of the roof, my arms out wide

Yes It was easy

"Cammie, sweetheart," someone said, "I want you to walk over here"

I turned and sawfrom aand out onto the icy roof

"Mom!" I yelled, happy to see her I pointed my toes and moved my hands "It’s like the circus!" I cried, and in my head, theover the balcony railing, easing toward me froet you inside now"

"My dad took me to the circus, Bex Did I ever tell you that?"

"Sure, Calanced at my mom "You weren’t there," I told her "I think you were in Malaysia"

"Let’s go inside and talk about it, kiddo"

"Bex, have you ever wanted to be on a high wire?"

"No, Ca?" I asked, and began to sing

"Come inside, Cammie," my mother said

"Cammie!" Liz’s cry pierced the air It was part screaht she must be hurt She was at theabove h

"Lizzie, stay there!" Bex cried, but Liz didn’t listen "Liz, watch out for the--"

And before Bex could finish, Liz’s right foot landed on a piece of ice and she lost her hold on the sill She was sliding, falling faster and faster until she finally caught hold of a pipe that stuck out of the roof Her s on for dear life

"Liz!" Bex yelled, and moved toward her; but the ice was too thick She started to skid, and stopped, frozen, unable to move

"Cammie…" The worry in my mother’s voice had turned to panic "Cammie, coaze was locked on the gates, the taillights disappearing beyond them

"It’s time," I said

"Time for what?" my mother asked

"Time for me to jump," I said, certain of what I had to do

I looked out across the frosty grounds of the school, so peaceful and serene while the rest of my sisterhood slept I raised my arms and--

"Cammie, don’t!" Liz screa to broke free fro

I was supposed to juiven a direct order, and I was the kind of Gallagher Girl who always follows orders Wasn’t I?

But there was Liz, sliding down the steep pitch of the icy roof, and I fell to htly that I feared it ht break, but I held on anyway

We were at the edge Liz’s s back and forth like a pendulum in midair Tears streaked down her face

And still, part of h the gates by then There were other things I was supposed to do

"Liz, I’ you up onto the roof, okay?"

"No!" Liz screamed Her voice was a broken, terrified sob "No, Ca you just like--"

"Cammie, no!" Mo Liz’s thin fraet her!" I yelled and threw Liz in Bex’s direction

It seemed to take forever for her to fly from my hand and onto the patch of icy roof at Bex’s feet But she was there

She was safe

And the taillights were still fading, growing smaller and smaller in the distance I knew the time had corew louder, but rougher too--like a record that has been played too hts disappeared

I kneas supposed to go, but I looked back attoo fast on the ice I felt h wire beca beneathabove me but sky

But the fall didn’t co ht Behind Bex, Liz was sca for help

I should have weighed too , but neither hand that gripped led there, legs floating free in the breeze while Dr Steve’s taillights faded into the night

"We have you, Cammie," Bex said "We have you"

MyTears dripped off her face and ontoto become

"Do you hear the music, Mom?"

"No, sweetheart No I don’t hear it" She shook her head Terror and tears filled her eyes

The wind felt colder, washing over me