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"Joe and I have been talking We think ht have another service--so small Would you like that?"

Would I like to bury hed when I realized the answer "Yes"

"And there will be a cere his reo up when the semester’s over if you’d like"

"Sure," I said "Okay" I didn’t want to talk about it any with Dr Steve

"What is it, Ca you?"

It seemed like a ridiculous question, and I wanted to snap at her, ask her where she wanted in But when I opened my mouth, the only words that came out were "I lost the key"

Okay, I don’t knohat I had expected to say, but that totally wasn’t it And yet, there it was--the one thing I hadn’t had the strength to say to anyone Not to my roommates Not in my sessions with Dr Steve And not to Zach

It washe’d asked me to do, and I’d failed So I searched ht then

"In Dad’s letter, he said there was a key Suone He left that for us…He ht have died because of it, and I--"

"Cary and scared She reached for my shoulders and turned acy was not soacy has not been locked up in a Roman bank vault for the past five years--it’s been here On this couch With htened

"You are your father’s legacy And all he would care about--all I care about--is that we still have you"

Tears filled her eyes, but she didn’t move to wipe them away "Do you know that?"

I nodded, unable to speak

"Okay"

Neither of us spoke again for a long tirow up in a house full of spies, you grow accustomed to silence Life is classified There is always so oes unsaid

"That week--before he left--he took me to the circus, did I ever tell you that?"

"Well"--Mo leftover cotton candy, so, yes, I knew For an excellent spy, he was a terrible sneaker"

"He seemed so happy"

"He was happy, sweetheart He loved you soup beside ood days," she said, and I knew that it was true I closed my eyes, felt my mother stroke my hair, and the music was softer then, in the very back ofood days to come

Chapter Thirty-three

It wasn’t until Fridayunder her desk while Madame Dabney lectured at the front of the roo with that?" I asked, pointing to the bundled pages

"It’s the CoveOps report you wrote after the whole Josh thing sophomore year," she whispered "The one Su the book fro with it?"

"Reading," Liz hissed and pulled the book back

"You’ve already read it," I told her

"I know"

"That means you’ve already memorized it," I re can be very beneficial"

I looked at Bex, as sitting on Liz’s other side She raised her eyebrows, and I knehat she was thinking I’d carried that book to Europe Of all the tools and devices, resources and gear, I’d taken that Suht have been on the run, but she wasn’t a fool

Walking out of class that day, I found eway that led to Mr Soloo see hi beside me

"I don’t knohat to say," I admitted

"He was your dad’s best friend," Bex said "He understands"

"That’s not it," I had to say

Bex crossed her ar ht" The plain truth settled down on ht"

It felt as though a wave of seventh graders ashing over us--a tide made of tiny rain-soaked uniforirls ore theainst the wall, huddled with my roommates and Zach, and watched them pass

"Were we ever that short?" I asked

Bex looked at me "You were I wasn’t"

"We’re seniors," I said Even without the massive memory loss, it seemed like we’d reached that point too quickly

"When did everything get socomplicated?" Liz wanted to know, and suddenly it sounded like a very good question

"That’s it!" I blurted "When did everything get co