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He didn&039;t kno he had let it happen In just a few lorious realisation, joy and fulfillret All of the confused and pent up feelings which Michael had forced himself to hold onto and suppress for weeks had now, in a moment of rash madness, been allowed to bubble to the surface and show themselves The situation he now found himself in was painfully aard and unexpected
He felt frustrated and e Michael didn&039;t wear a watch any to trickle in through the skylight that it was about five or six o&039;clock, ed to sleep for a while but, ulti and interrupted as hts in the motorhome had so far been But the last few hours had been subtly different Lying next to Emma (who, in comparison, had slept relatively soundly) he had spenther
She had rolled over to face away froled down behind her and put his arm around her body His hand had brushed her breast Both survivors were fully clothed, but just the sensation and the slightest touch of her war and had res of desire and lust which had been forgotten for what felt like forever He had pushed hiainst her, praying that she wouldn&039;t wake up but, at the sa that she would respond He had wished that she&039;d turn around and hold him and kiss hi was going to be all right For a long time Michael had wrestled with his conscious How could he allow himself to think about love and sex when the world outside was dead? What kind of a hu was he to even consider his own lust and sexual desires ahead of the devastation that had taken place beyond the fragile walls of the ardless of how his brain and his conscious screamed at him and demanded that he should behave, his heart and other more basic, carnal instincts drove him to act differently
In the se and unzipped his trousers Troubled and nervous at first, he began to touch hiht second his quiet excite quickly, enjoying the unexpected freedo her She was the reason he was doing this He knew that he didn&039;t dare risk telling her how he felt for her and how much he wanted her but, for the first time, he finally allowed his for the only other hu in his world His hand movements became quicker Faster and faster as he reached the ave way to excitement
He couldn&039;t stop He knew that the silence and ht betray him but he didn&039;t care He&039;d had a need - a physical lust - which needed to be fulfilled And then it happened The movement stopped, a split second pause and then sheer pleasure followed by relaxation Suddenly paranoid and self-conscious, Michael did up his trousers and i to clean the bedding and his clothes without E what he had done A once-faust washed over him What had he done? Christ, billions of people dead and there he anking under the bedclothes like some dirty little schoolboy He felt ashamed, and that shame increased infinitely when Emma rolled over She ake Worse still, he could tell froer than a second) that she&039;d been awake for a while &039;You okay?&039; she asked Erunted aardly &039;You?&039;
She smiled and rolled onto her back He looked away, too ashaain A heavy silence descended on the motorhome which seemed to Michael to last for hours but which only lasted seconds Covering his groin with his hand and a discarded T-shirt he got up quickly and headed towards the confined bathroo with the cold as he sponged his clothing doith bottled water How had he let it happen? A hundred dark thoughts began to uilty mind Did Emma really knohat he&039;d done? Was it such a crime? Would she want to leave and be apart fro? Could she trust him now? Would she despise him? Did she think he was some kind of pervert? All of his questions were answered when he plucked up courage to return to the other rooht, you know,&039; she said softly as he approached Even more ashamed than he had been when it had first happened, Michael was now mortified &039;What? You mean you?&039; he stammered
&039;It&039;s perfectly natural,&039; she soothed, getting up fro across the roo what it was that he was trying to say Sensing that any conversation would be difficult, E her face in his chest for ahis unshaven cheek She ran her hands up and down his back and squeezed hihtly &039;Don&039;t be ashamed,&039; she whispered &039;I understand&039; &039;Do you?&039; She kissed his lips She had kissed him before, but this tier She stared into his face &039;I kno you feel,&039; she whispered