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TAKE A LEFT, THEN straight to the top of this road," I tell Keith, my voice so quiet I have to repeat myself twice before he hears me We&039;re very close now I used to walk this hen I caht When we turn the corner I&039;ll be able to see the apart at the top of the hill I braceback Keith stops the van suddenly and waits He&039;s finally been forced to use the headlights and the bright bea movement across the road in front of us We watch in silence as a pack of stray dogs streaks through the ruins in search of food Once probably lazy, well-fed, pae creatures One of theed fur, stops in the middle of the road and stares defiantly at the van, ears twitching, light reflecting in its eyes The standoff lasts for just a few seconds before so causes the hound to turn and chase frantically after the rest of the pack
The interruption over, Keith drives on again, and in seconds I can see the outline of the house I used to share with Lizzie and the kids In the winter I was able to see the lights on in the s from here, and sometimes I could see the shadows of the kids as they ran fro their et about all of that now, but it&039;s hard As I get closer, each neave of familiarity hits me like an undefended punch in the face At the saust-shame almost-that I was ever a part of this place I can&039;t believe I allowed myself to stay trapped in such a pathetic, restricted, and pointless life for so long
"Lovely spot," Paul grumbles sarcastically as he surveys the battered remains of the run-down developht, and the ht illu not to see
"It&039;s hardly changed," I tell hi"
Another helicopter flies overhead, the constant chopping of its rotor blades audible even over the rattling engine of this ancient van The others watch anxiously as it banks high above us, then turns around and flies back on itself, but I pay it hardly any attention I&039; we&039;re fast approaching, wondering what the hell I&039; to find inside I know Ellis won&039;t be there I just want to find a trace of her, an indication, no ht have been taken
Keith stops the van in the shadows, nestling it up against a tall wooden fence, and switches off the engine Twous? None of the others seeot five ency in his voice "Spend too long screwing around in there and when you coone There&039;s a fair aht, and I don&039;t want to get caught in any crossfire Understand?"
"I get it"
I reach up to open the door, then stop when Keith speaks again
"Just remember," he warns, "we&039;re here to find other people like us, not just your kid If she&039;s not here or at the other house, you forget about her Is that clear?"
Who the fuck does he think he is, talking to et out of the van before anyone can say anything else I sla, and it echoes around the desolate neighborhood like a gunshot
I stand at the end of the path that leads up to the co only ht, and a knife Except for the brokenand the ragged curtains whipping in and out in the wind, the apart this place seems almost to cancel out the last three months It feels like only yesterday that I was last here
Keith angrily blasts on the horn, the unco me into action I walk down the uneven path and push the door It sticks at first but opens when I shove it hard,creak it always did, except it sounds a thousand ti else is so deathly quiet I step inside and shine the flashlight around The shared lobby has been trashed, and the ground beneath my feet is covered in bits of broken furniture and other rubbish I recognize so toout here
The front door of the apartentle breeze The wood is splintered and cracked across its width, and there are several dirty boottheir way in as I was trying to get out when I was last here With trepidation I push it open and go inside, and immediately I&039;ain I kick est son&039;s upturned stroller out of the way and move farther down the hall The first rooo inside, and I can smell my father-in-law&039;s corpse before I see it He lies exactly where I left him, still covered in his blood-soaked duvet shroud, decay having deflated his lifeless bulk down to half its forerm-filled mass is all that&039;s left of Harry When I think of him I still remeave me such a hard time, a crotchety, white-haired old bastard who did all he could tothat&039;s happened it&039;s hard to look at hiht back across the roo the screams and the terrified faces of my family when they sahat I&039;d done I rehtened face clearest of all, desperate for answers that I didn&039;t yet know I could give her
I retrace their steps,roo h illumination, and step over what&039;s left of the furniture Lizzie stacked up here to keep me out It&039;s cold and da left the room open and exposed to the elements for weeks on end There&039;s blackThe apartment has been ransacked, but I don&039;t think Lizzie did this Our things have been trashed by scavengers looking for food, weapons, and valuables They asting their ti
A h the air above the apart screaain, and I pick up my pace I don&039;t bother with Edward and Josh&039;s rooo into the bedrooht of being so physically close to herso far froe of clothing from the wardrobe (all of Lizzie&039;s clothes are still here-proof that she never cah to Ellis&039;s roos into my backpack-a doll and a rainbow-colored sweater she used to live in-figuring that the faain Didn&039;t , e asked her to get dressed, this sweater hat she always chose I hold it toto remember her scent It just smells of the apartment, damp and musty
I take one last look around, thenthat whatever happens, I won&039;t be coh the lobby I push my way back out into the open and take a deep breath as soon as I&039;, claustrophobic hellhole full of reunfire nearby, followed by a screa into the van, then clin?" Paul asks
"Nothing"
Yet another helicopter hovers nearby, this one using a searchlight to illu anywhere else for a while," Keith announces as he starts the engine and pulls away "This place is too daht Anywhere close where we can hole up until it quietens down?"
All eyes are onI&039; back into the apartht still be standing Through a gap between two houses at the very bottoh-rise that looks reasonably intact That&039;ll do
"Turn left at the bottom of the road," I tell him "I know somewhere"