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I s carless,when I contrasted it with the sense of self-iraduated, his parents gave his two-year-old Mustang to his sixteen-year-old brother, who’d wrecked his Jeep the weekend before As an early graduation gift, they replaced Kennedy’s Mustang with the brand new BMW--sleek and black, with every available upgrade, including plush leather seats and a stereo system I could hear fro every single thing that happened to me with Kennedy Realization dawned then, that he was still my default Over the past three years, we’d becoh he’d broken his habit of me when he walked away, I’d not brokenhied only to an to accept it, as much as it hurt to do so

As soon as we hit caed his father’s fraternity Despite my boyfriend’s need for cliquish affiliation, I’d never shared that aspiration He didn’t seem to mind when I said I preferred not to rush any sororities, as long as I supported his future-politician need for brotherhood He told irlfriend

"A GDI? What’s that?"

He’d laughed and said, "It oddamned independent"

When he walked out of o, it hadn’t occurred tomy carefully cultivated social circle with him Minus my relationship with Kennedy, I had no autoh Chaz and Erin could inviteof acceptable things to bring to any party: alcohol and girls

Awesoirlfriend to party paraphernalia

Running into clusters of my former friends was uncomfortable at best Just outside the main library, tables of frat boys sold coffee, juice and pastries everyArrills, Tri-Delts caht of the hoested to Erin that rills and REI caear, and she snorted and said, "Yeah, I pointed that out My warning fell on deaf ears")

I couldn’t leavepeople hom I’d had uncomplicated relationships just days before Now their eyes shifted ahen I walked by, though so to be deep in conversation with someone else Even fewer called out, "Hi, Jackie" I didn’t tell the that name

At first, Erin insisted that the snubs were in my head, but after teeks, she reluctantly concurred "People feel the need to choose sides when a relationship splits--it’s hu in "Still Cowards" I appreciated that she illing to ignore her detached analysis in support of me

It didn’t surprise me that practically everyone chose Kennedy He was one of the, future world leader I was the quiet, cute but soirlfriend… After the breakup, I becarad--to everyone but Erin

Tuesday, we passed the reigning campus power-couple--Katie was president of Erin’s sorority and DJ was vice president of Kennedy’s fraternity "Hi, Erin! Great outfit," Katie said, as though I wasn’t there DJ tipped his chin and s over irlfriend had

"Thanks!" Erin responded "Fuckheads," she h mine

When I’d o, I’d been horrified to find irl stereotype Erin had already claimed the bed nearest theAbove her headboard, she’d fastened shiny blue and gold high school poold glitter Surrounding the giant gilded letters were posters covered in photos of cheerleader events and ho football players

As I stood gaping at her light-reflective side of our tiny rooh the door "Oh, hi! You must be Jacqueline! I’m Erin!"

Diplomatically, I hadn’t voiced the no shit comment that popped into my head

"Since you weren’t here, I chose a bed--I hope you don’ta university T-shirt that almost exactly matched her upswept coppery hair, she picked upit onto the bed "I attached a whiteboard to the door so we can leave es to each other--estion, don’t you think?"

I blinked at her,and started reht frothy rooirl appeared to have not one of those desired qualities I’d basically described o to bed at a decent hour A non-partier ouldn’t bring a parade of boys through our roo

"It’s Jackie, actually," I’d said to her