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The shock of hearing Hay that he was not only functional but had soed e his comments froht aboutfor him to convince the others of my limitations That I can&039;t pull it off I can&039;t stand in a television studio wearing a costume and makeup in a cloud of fake s, really, how long I have survived the caoes to Peeta Alone, I can&039;t be the Mockingjay

We gather around the huge table in Command Coin and her people Plutarch, Fulvia, and roup from 12 that includes Haymitch and Gale, but also a few others I can&039;t explain, like Leevy and Greasy Sae At the last minute, Finnick wheels Beetee in, accompanied by Dalton, the cattle expert froe assortment of people as witnesses to my failure

However, it&039;s Haymitch elcomes everyone, and by his words I understand that they have come at his personal invitation This is the first tiether since I clawed hilimpse of his reflection in one of the shiny control consoles along the wall He looks slightly yellow and has lost a lot of weight, giving him a shrunken appearance For a second, I&039; I have to remindHaye we&039;ve just shot I seem to have reached souidance Both my voice and body have a jerky, disjointed quality, like a puppet being ht," Hayue that this is of use to us in winning the war?" No one does "That saves time So, let&039;s all be quiet for a minute I want everyone to think of one incident where Katniss Everdeen genuinely moved you Not where you were jealous of her hairstyle, or her dress went up in flames or she made a halfway decent shot with an arrow Not where Peeta wasyou like her I want to hear onereal"

Quiet stretches out and I&039; to think it will never end, when Leevy speaks up "When she volunteered to take Priht she was going to die"

"Good Excellent example," says Haymitch He takes a purple marker and writes on a notepad "Volunteered for sister at reaping" Haymitch looks around the table "Somebody else"

I&039;s, who I think of as athe song While the little girl died" So boy perched up on his hip In the dining hall, I think Maybe he&039;s not a robot after all

"Who didn&039;t get choked up at that, right?" says Hayed Peeta so she could go get hiood-bye!" blurts out Octavia Then she covers her mouth, like she&039;s sure this was a bad s Peeta to save his life Very nice"

The in to come thick and fast and in no particular order When I took Rue on as an allyExtended s And again and again when I held out those berries that s to different people Love for Peeta Refusal to give in under impossible odds Defiance of the Capitol&039;s inhumanity

Haymitch holds up the notepad "So, the question is, what do all of these have in common?"

"They were Katniss&039;s," says Gale quietly "No one told her what to do or say"

"Unscripted, yes!" says Beetee He reaches over and pats ht?"

People laugh I even smile a little

"Well, that&039;s all very nice but not very helpful," says Fulvia peevishly "Unfortunately, her opportunities for being wonderful are rather li we toss her into the middle of coesting," says Haymitch "Put her out in the field and just keep the canant," Gale points out

"We&039;ll spread the word that she lost the baby from the electrical shock in the arena," Plutarch replies "Very sad Very unfortunate"

The idea of sending ht case If I perform well only in real-life circuo "Every tiive her lines, the best we can hope for is okay It has to co to"

"Even if we&039;re careful, we can&039;t guarantee her safety," says Boggs "She&039;ll be a target for every - "

"I want to go," I break in "I&039;m no help to the rebels here"

"And if you&039;re killed?" asks Coin

"Make sure you get soe You can use that, anyway," I answer

"Fine," says Coin "But let&039;s take it one step at a tierous situation that can evoke so the illu troop positions in the war "Take her into Eight this afternoon There was heavy bo, but the raid seems to have run its course I want her arround Haymitch, you&039;ll be airborne and in contact with her Let&039;s see what happens there Does anyone have any other comments?"

"Wash her face," says Dalton Everyone turns to hiirl and youthe Capitol would do"

As Coin adjourns the , Haymitch asks her if he can speak to ers uncertainly by my side "What are you worried about?" Hayuard"

"It&039;s okay," I tell Gale, and he goes Then there&039;s just the hum of the instruments, the purr of the ventilation system

Hay to have to work together again So, go ahead Just say it"

I think of the snarling, cruel exchange back on the hovercraft The bitterness that followed But all I say is "I can&039;t believe you didn&039;t rescue Peeta"

"I know," he replies

There&039;s a sense of incoized But because ere a team We had a deal to keep Peeta safe A drunken, unrealistic deal ht, but a deal just the same And in my heart of hearts, I knoe both failed

"Now you say it," I tell him

"I can&039;t believe you let hiht," says Haymitch

I nod That&039;s it "I play it over and over in my head What I could have done to keep hi comes to me"

"You didn&039;t have a choice And even if I could&039;ve ht, the whole hovercraft would&039;ve gone down We barely got out as it was" I finally ed with the circles of sleepless nights "He&039;s not dead yet, Katniss"

"We&039;re still in the game" I try to say this with optimism, but my voice cracks

"Still in And I&039;m still your mentor" Hayround, remember I&039;m airborne I&039;ll have the better view, so do what I tell you"

"We&039;ll see," I answer

I return to the Remake Room and watch the streaks of makeup disappear down the drain as I scrub ed, with her uneven skin and tired eyes, but she looks like ly scar from the tracker There That looks like me, too