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That was not Maximus It never had been I was just a quick fuck to hi else

Story of my life

"I’ better than to cal ain "I real y like you A lot I ot to be kiddingup with me? We weren’t even in a relationship

"But you need so ers downto help you as much as I can, but you have to help yourself too It’s a darn shame this had to happen I think we could have real y had so And, well , maybe someday we can I think we’d make quite the tearee to doing the shoith me When you’re better, of course"

That did it

"Maxiave me an inquisitive look "What?"

I spat in his face with all the nastiness I could ht on his nose

I smiled viciously at the look of shock on his face "That was froave ot up He put the chair back, saying "I’l be staying overnight here I’l come see you later"

He pul ed the door behind hihts until the pil s kicked in and pul ed me into a haze

Of course, I was never real y alone anyain

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The rest of the day passed by in radical shifts I was drugged and under for periods of ti above it, kept in place only by the ropes that kept me down I was out of control, then in control, then out of control, then in control The thing and I switched on and off but I didn’t get to cal the shots I could only get hih But it drained ain

People came and went Time slowed down My mother came in and sat beside me for awhile She couldn’t look me in the eyes I didn’t know if it was because she was ashaed to soet easier," and patted ot any uilt in his face was eating him alive I should have been happy about that, but it just made me feel sad

Maximus offered to spoon feed me dinner I told him I’d barf on him like Linda Blair in The Excorcist He didn’t broach the topic of food after that

But the one person I wanted to see, Ada, had stayed away I knew she was aching and I knew I must have hurt her terribly when I attacked her I stil didn’t know exactly what had gone down but I knew itto be attacked by your sister, even one as unpredictable as ured she’d co to cheero to a mental institute (because, let’s face it, that’s where I’d be going in the long run) But it would have just been talk anyway She wouldn’t be able to helpaway It hurt too much to see me like this

But it would hurt hed and closedsteadily Cold seeped in through the s and sat thickly in the air I had heardearlier about how cold it was in the room, that the thermostat must be broken They were so oblivious, I swear

"How are you feeling?" Maximus asked

He was back in the roo?"

"Do you feel like kil ing anyone?"

"Aside fro high and

"Are you scared?" he asked

I shot hi bed"

"It’s for your own safety And everyone else’s If ere to let you loose"

"Loose? I’ animal"

"Part of you is You know it"

I did know it I knehy I was tied down I knew, and I was alrateful because it meant I couldn’t hurt the ones I loved I knew thewould ht," he said soothingly "Things wil turn around tomorrow"

"And il you do when the men in the white coats take me away? What wil you say then? Wil you stil ask me if I’m scared?" My voice started to tre entering part offor an opportunity When I was scared, upset, aiting for an opportunity When I was scared, upset, when uard was down, that’s when it would prey onto predict it I wanted to warn Maximus, to tel him to step away fro me and I didn’t knohat part

"Wherever you end up, Perry, it’l be for the best," he said, as if he knew "They’l ain The doctors wil help you They’l treat you You’l be given medicine and it’l fix you Those mental institutions have a bad rap, you know that But they do ood than harm, especial y for people like you It ood as new"

"Are you sure about that, Max?" so in its familiarity, the way it made the arms on my hair stand up It was low, rich, deep

And hardened

Maximus flinched and whipped his head toward the door His burly fra my view and I could only crane my neck so far to see who else was in the room

I saw Ada walk past the foot of the bed, her eyes locked to