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And when I ca body half on top ofthere I rolled my head over towards his and tried to focus h the drunkenness I felt He atching htened expression on his face I wanted nothing more than to pull him closer into hi his distance

Now that he had gottento me in small batches What the hell just happened? What did itto catch my breath, unable to come up ords I reached up for his face and stroked his sideburn withhim, as stupid as that would sound

He closed his eyes at ht there I tried to lead his face to mine but he pulled back and slowly shook his head

"I’m sorry," he said "I can’t"

"You can’t what?" I whispered

His eyes flew open They shined with so I hoped wasn’t remorse

"I don’t want to hurt you And I will," he admitted

"Maybe I want to be hurt," I teased quietly

"No Not like this I…care about you toowith Jenn I can’t I shouldn’t have done this"

Oh great He really was re that ever happened to retted it

He sawhis face in closer

"This has nothing to do with you," he said, his eyes like lasers, iret this It’s strange to be needed for once I just wish things were different"

"You canhi him He returned it slowly, sweetly His kisses were ainst mine

"I still need you," I ainst ular Then his lips found ain It made my heart ache, made my soul ache I loved him far too ain and ran his finger along my mouth I could see the frustration in his forehead, which hid the struggle he s were different," he said slowly "If I was a different person"

"If you were a different person, I wouldn’t be…I wouldn’t want you," I said, trying to get hihed "And I shouldn’t be pawing at you like this Not e are partners Not when I have Jenn And not nohen I have a child"

He was fucking right Damn Jenn Damn this unborn child and their stupid loveless relationship The thought toretheonly h to handle I should have just let hihly, strokingfor you You h," I choked out, avoiding his eyes in case the tears decided to co to be OK You still have me in every other way You…you really haveto be here for you We’re going to get through this And toood"

He had so much sincerity in his eyes that I had no choice but to believe hih I didn’t knohat any of it meant He s his warot up, quickly put on his pants and tossed ave him a shy smile and covered upbag and patted the spot beside him "Come here, please"

I did as he said with ainst his will be better tomorrow You’ll see"

I nodded

"Good night, kiddo," he said He kissed the back ofhad stopped and the only thing I could hear wasslowly It hurt just a little bit

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The nexttarps, rat–a–tat sprays of rain against the tent, a gloolow and the ever–present damp nip in the air If I had woken up to "I Got You Babe" on an AM radio, then it really would have been co I kind of preferred it that way It gave o over what the hell had happened last night It was all coht of day The sound of his moans The feel of his lips on e of his head between one down on me? Did he really run his mouth all over my body? Dex? My Dex? It seehosts, why couldn’t I i up on?

But then the feelings cao any further His so–called allegiance to Jenn and her baby Their baby Ugh, the whole thing uilt for having been the other woh I had been in Jenn’s position before I just felt bad for Dex

Although, I really shouldn’t have After all, I didn’t force hi He kissed me first

I put my hand to my forehead and scrunched it up What aand some others… Did I really do that? Even the fact that he saw asm…I couldn’t have been more vulnerable than that