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"Are you saying that you love me?"

"No I can't say that" And he couldn't He couldn't ad a weapon to use against him--a reason to hurt her

"I see Well, I have no such probleue, he couldn't tell

"I love you, David I want to be with you regardless of the risk"

The words sang to his soul and made as left of his heart ache in desperation to hear theain She loved him How could a man like him be so lucky? He didn't deserve her love But, oh, hoanted it "Don't be stupid

Being with me is not worth that kind of risk I' Even knohat I do now--knoould happen, if soo back and do it all again--the time with you and the torture at the end, or no ti the sa David could see that in her eyes She ut clench It made him want to howl like an animal in the face of the bittersweet pain hef words caused How could she love him that much? Him, a violent man who had made so many mistakes? "You can't ether orth every single cut and bruise, every single speck of fear that I suffered And I only had a few days with you Mary had years If she loved you as ladly accepted her fate as the price for the time she had with you Maybe you're too duood "

"There's been enough suffering because of havingto take that kind of risk again"

She reached for his hand, and it was only then that he realized that he was by her side, as close to her as he could get without cliers were cold and he automatically wrapped them inside his hands to war "Why? Because then you'll no longer have an excuse to run? Because you'll have to face the fact that I love you and a to be with you even if it means I die?"

"I won't let you die" It was a proive her

"It's not your choice It never was"

Could she be right? Could it be true that he never had control over life and death? He'd killed He'd protected people froive him control? "God, Noelle Don't do this toyou that your life doesn't have to be about guilt and trying to make up for a crime you didn't commit You can have a second chance at happiness if you want it All you have to do is take it"

The tiny part of him that was still hu He craved a second chance, but did he deserve it? "I don't know if I can What if it happens all over again? What if you die like Mary did?"

Her fingers slid over his palone, but her words burned all the same

"What if I don't? What if you let yourself loveon our front porch watching our grandkids play in the yard?"

"Oh, God," he groaned, nearly doubling over with longing She was offering hi he wanted Love A family How could he turn it away? "Noelle, please"

Her voice was thin eariness "It's up to you, David You can shut down and disappear, or you can let yourself live Whatever you choose, I'll still love you I'll never regret loving you"

He closed his eyes, willing away the hot tears that gathered behind his lids He didn't want to cry He hadn't cried since Mary died He'd wanted to stay locked in his safe, e to let that happen

She was tearing away every one of his barriers and forcing hirow

Did Noelle really have no regrets? Could Mary have felt the sa to sacrifice herself for the love they'd shared?

It didn't seem possible He wasn't worthy of that kind of love, but Mary had always given more of herself than he deserved Just like Noelle

He wished he could talk to Mary one more time and tell her how sorry he was that he'd failed her There were so s that would ease his guilt while doing nothing to bring her back

But Mary had always been able to read his mind Maybe she already knew

Maybe she knew that he'd done everything he could to get to her and it still wasn't enough Maybe she knew that: he would have traded his life for her a thousand tiladly taken her place--been tortured, frightened, helpless He would have done anything Anything

As he looked into Noelle's eyes and saw her boundless potential for love, so much like Mary's, he knew that it was true The Mary that he loved would never have accused hi She would have wanted hih she was gone

Suddenly, a quiet sort of peace settled over him From one heartbeat to the next, David felt free Noellefor what he needed in the wrong place He' needed forgiveness, but not froive hio of all the should haves and would haves and what ifs and gave himself the benefit of the doubt