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Sos like oil and water Orange juice and toothpaste

Wizards and television

Spotlights glared into my eyes The heat of theh the pancake ehand had slapped on hts on top of caan to play, and the studio audience began to chant, "Lah-REE, Lah-REE, Lah-REE!"

Larry Fowler, a short man in an immaculate suit, appeared fro to the stage, flashing his porcelain s the hands of a dozen people seated at the ends of their rows as he passed them The audience whistled and cheered as he did The noise e, and I felt a trickle of sweat slide down over my ribs, beneath my white dress shirt and

It isn&039;t like I have stage fright or anything, see Because I don&039;t It was just really hot up there I licked my lips and checked all the fire exits, just to be safe No telling when you hts and noise made it a little difficult to keep up my concentration, and I felt the spell I&039;d woven around me wobble I closed ain

In the chair besideman in his late forties, dressed in a suit that looked a lot better than mine Mortimer Lindquist waited calmly, a polite smile on his face, but muttered out of the corner of his mouth, "You okay?"

"I&039;ve been in house fires I liked better than this"

"You asked for this ered over shaking a young woman&039;s hand "Showboat"

"Think this will take long?" I asked Morty

He glanced beside hiuests I guess this one could go for a while They shoot extra material and edit it down to the best parts"

I sighed I&039;d been on The Larry Fowler Show just after I&039;d gone into business as an investigator, and it had been a ainst the tide of infamy I&039;d received from association with the show "What did you find out?" I asked

Mort flicked a nervous glance at me and said, "Not much"

"Come on, Mort"

He opened his lanced up as Larry Fowler trotted up the stairs and onto the stage "Not now Wait for a commercial break"

Larry Fowler pranced up to us and puerated enthusiasm "Welcome to the show," he said into a handheld microphone, then turned to face the nearest camera "Our topic for today is &039;Witchcraft and Wizardry-Phony or Fabulous?&039; With us in order to share their views are local medium and psychic counselor Mortimer Lindquist"

The crowd applauded politely

"And beside hio&039;s only professional wizard"

There was a round of snickering laughter to go with the applause this time I couldn&039;t say I was shocked People don&039;t believe in the supernatural these days Supernatural things are scary It&039;s e that no one can reach out with ic and quietly kill you, that vampires exist only in ical dysfunctions

Completely inaccurate but much more comfortable

Despite the relative levels of denial, h at me An old, quiet hurt led to maintain the suppression spell

Yeah, I said spell See, I really aic I&039;ve run into vas in between, and I&039;ve got the scars to show for it The proble with htbulbs burn out, and car alarood reason I&039;d worked out a spell to suppress the ht at least have a chance to keep fro off the fire alarms

It was delicate stuff by its very nature, and extreood, but I saw the nearest ca feedback sounded tinnily from the headset

I closed my eyes and reined inon the spell The feedback died away

"Well, then," Larry said, after half a uest on the show several times now Would you care to tell us a little bit about what you do?"

Mortimer widened his eyes and whispered, "I see dead people"

The audience laughed

"But seriously Mostly I conduct seances, Larry," Mortimer said "I do what I can to help those who have lost a loved one or who need to contact them in the beyond in order to resolve issues left undone back here on earth I also offer a predictions service in order to help clients ainst possible danger"

"Really," Larry said "Could you give us a demonstration?"

Mortiht hand on the spot between his eyes Then in a hollow voice he said, "The spirits tell uests will soon arrive"

The audience laughed, and Mortirin He kne to play a crowd

Larry gave Mortimer a tolerant smile "And why are you here today?"

"Larry, I just want to try to raise public awareness about the realhty percent of a recent survey of American adults stated that they believed in the existence of the spirits of the dead, in ghosts I just want to help people understand that they do exist, and that there are other people out there who have had strange and inexplicable encounters with them"

"Thank you, Morty And Harry-may I call you Harry?"

"Sure It&039;s your nickel," I responded

Larry&039;s sot a shade brittle "Can you tell us a little bit about what you do?"

"I&039;ate paranorling with a sudden development of their own abilities"

"Isn&039;t it true that you also consult for the Special Investigations departo PD?"

"Occasionally," I said I wanted to avoid talking about SI if I could The last thing CPD would as to be advertised on The Larry Fowler Show "Many police departments across the country employ such consultants when all other leads have failed"

"And why are you here today?"

"Because I&039; double ain, more warmly Larry Fowler&039;s eyes flashed with an ilasses, and his s of teeth "No, really, Harry Why?"

"For the same reasons as Mort-uh, as Morty here," I answered Which was true I&039;d coet some information from him He&039;d come here to meet uess you could say I don&039;t have the safest reputation in the world

"And you claiic," Larry said

"Yeah"

"Could you show us?" Larry prompted

"I could, Larry, but I don&039;t think it&039;s practical"

Larry nodded, and gave the audience a wise look "And why is that?"

"Because it would probably wreck your studio equipment"

"Of course," Larry said He winked at the audience "Well, ouldn&039;t want that, would we?"

There was es fro to mind, but I restrained myself and maintained the suppression spell Master of self-discipline, that&039;slook

Larry carried on the talk part of the talk show, discussing crystals and ESP and tarot cards Mort didI chimed in with monosyllables from time to time

After several ht back after these announcens that read APPLAUSE, and cameras panned and zoomed over the audience as they whistled and hooted

Larry gave s, he started tearing into a irl about his hair

I leaned over to Mort and said, "Okay What did you find out?"

The du concrete I&039; the dead"

"Even so, you&039;ve got more contacts in this area than I do," I said "My sources don&039;t keep close track of who has or hasn&039;t died lately, so I&039;ll take whatever I can get Is she at least alive?"

He nodded "She&039;s alive That much I know She&039;s in Peru"

"Peru?" It came as a vast relief to hear that she wasn&039;t dead, but what the hell was Susan doing in Peru? "That&039;s Red Court territory"

"Soh most of them are in Brazil and the Yucatan I tried to find out exactly where she was, but I was blocked"

"By who?"

Mort shrugged "No way for me to tell I&039;m sorry"

I shook my head "No, it&039;s okay Thanks, Mort"

I settled back in uez was a reporter for a regional yellow paper called the Midwestern Arcane She&039;d grown interested ino buotten involved, and on our first date she wound up lying naked on the ground in a thunderstorooey bits After that, she parlayed a couple of encounters with things from my cases into a widespread syndicated column

A couple of years later, she wound up followingto-do, despite all s to the contrary A noble of the Red Court of Vaun the transformation fro I&039;d done The va in the Red Court made her untouchable, that I wouldn&039;t want to start trouble with the entire Court She tolda ar between the White Council of wizards and the vampires&039; Red Court

Which I did