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She stood still for aafter him She could call for the elevator, of course, ride it doait for the Clave in the lobby with everyone else If Jace didn't want to talk, he didn't want to talk She couldn't force hi hiot over it

She turned toward the elevator-and stopped A little fla her eyes burn No, she thought She didn't have to let him behave like this Maybe he could be this way to everyone else, but not to her He owed her better than that They owed each other better than that

She whirled and made her way to the doors Her ankle still ached, but the iratzes Alec had put on her orking Most of the pain in her body had subsided to a dull, throbbing ache She reached the doors and pushed the onto the roof terrace with a wince as her bare feet ca tiles

She saw Jace i near the steps, on tiles stained with blood and ichor and glittering with salt He rose as she approached, and he turned, soenstern ring, on its chain

The wind had coold hair across his face He pushed it away impatiently and said, "I just remembered that we left this here"

His voice sounded surprisingly normal

"Is that why you wanted to stay up here?" said Clary "To get it back?"

He turned his hand, so the chain swung upward, his fingers closing over the ring "I'm attached to it It's stupid, I know"

"You could have said, or Alec could have stayed-"

"I don't belong with the rest of you," he said abruptly "After what I did, I don't deserve iratzes and healing and hugs and being consoled and whatever else it isto think I need I'd rather stay up here with him" He jerked his chin toward the place where Sebastian's motionless body lay in the open coffin, on its stone pedestal "And I sure as hell don't deserve you"

Clary crossed her arht about what I deserve? That et a chance to talk to you about what happened?"

He stared at her They were only a few feet apart, but it felt as if an inexpressible gulf lay between them "I don't knohy you would even want to look at me, much less talk to s you did-that wasn't you"

He hesitated The sky was so black, the lit s of the nearby skyscrapers so bright, it was as if they stood in the center of a net of shining jewels "If it wasn'tI did? When people are possessed, and they come back from it, they don't remember what they did when the de" He turned abruptly and walked away, toward the roof garden wall She followed hilad for the distance it put between thees

"Jace!" she called out, and he turned, his back to the wall, sluainst it Behind hiht like the demon towers of Alicante "You reme up with him, a little breathless "She did this to torture you as et Simon to do what she wanted She wanted you to have to watch yourself hurt the people you love"

"I atching," he said in a low voice "It was as if so at myself to stop But the rest of ht Like it was the only thing I could do I wonder if that's how Valentine felt about everything he did Like it was so easy to be right" He looked away from her "I can't stand it," he said "You shouldn't be here with , Clary ainst the wall Her ar Finally, reluctantly, he turned his head to look at her again "Clary"

"You don't get to decide," she said, "where I go, or when"

"I know" His voice was ragged "I've always known that about you I don't knohy I had to fall in love with someone who's more stubborn than I am"

Clary was silent a moment Her heart had contracted at those tords-"in love" "All those things you said to me," she said in a half whisper, "on the terrace at the Ironworks-did you s?"

That you lovedback-he hadn't said that, had he? Not the words themselves The implication had been there And the truth of the fact, that they loved each other, was so she knew as clearly as she knew her own na me if I would love you if you were like Sebastian, like Valentine"

"And you said then I wouldn't bethat turned out to be," he said, bitterness coloring his voice "What I did tonight-"

Clary moved toward him; he tensed, but didn't move away She took hold of the front of his shirt, leaned in closely, and said, enunciating each word clearly, "That wasn't you"

"Tell that to your mother," he said "Tell it to Luke, when they ask where this caently; the wound was healed now, but her skin, and the fabric of her dress, were still stained darkly with blood

"I'll tell them," she said "I'll tell theold eyes incredulous "You can't lie to theht you back," she said "You were dead, and I brought you back I upset the balance, not you I opened the door for Lilith and her stupid ritual I could have asked for anything, and I asked for you" She tightened her grip on his shirt, her fingers white with cold and pressure "And I would do it again I love you, Jace Wayland-Herondale-Lighthatever you want to call yourself I don't care I love you and I will always love you, and pretending it could be any other way is just a waste of time"

A look of such pain crossed his face that Clary felt her heart tighten Then he reached out and took her face between his hands His palainst her cheeks