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"Make her understand that I'm a vampire? Clary, I think she does understand that, in a weird kind of way That doesn'tto accept it or ever be okay with it"

"Well, you can't just keep oing to work forever"

"Why not?" He kneas being unreasonable, but lying on the hard floor, surrounded by the s their webs in the corners of the garage, feeling lonelier than he ever had, reasonable seemed very far away

"Because then your whole relationship with her is a lie You can't never go home-"

"So what?" Simon interrupted harshly "That's part of the curse, isn't it? 'A fugitive and a wanderer shalt thou be'"

Despite the traffic noises and the sound of chatter in the background, he could hear Clary's sudden indrawn breath

"You think I should tell her about that, too?" he said "How you put the Mark of Cain onto want that in her house?"

The background sounds quieted; Claryto hold back tears as she said, "Simon, I'm so sorry You know I'm sorry-"

"It's not your fault" He suddenly felt bone-tired That's right, terrify your mother and then make your best friend cry A banner day for you, Siht now I'ets hoh-tears sound "What, doesn't Eric count as people?"

"I'll get back to you on that later," he said, and hesitated "I'll call you toht?"

"You'll seewith me, remember?"

"Wow," he said "I must really love you"

"I know," she said "I love you, too"

Siainst his chest It was funny, he thought Now he could say "I love you" to Clary, when for years he'd struggled to say those words and had not been able to get theer meant them the same way, it was easy

Sometimes he did wonder ould have happened if there had never been a Jace Wayland If Clary had never found out she was a Shadowhunter But he pushed the thought away-pointless, don't go down that road You couldn't change the past You could only go forward Not that he had any idea what forward entailed He couldn't stay in Eric's garage forever Even in his current mood, he had to admit it was a er felt either cold or heat in any real way-but the floor was hard, and he was having trouble sleeping He wished he could dull his senses The loud noise of traffic outside was keeping hiasoline But it was the gnaorry about what to do next that was the worst

He'd throay most of his blood supply and stashed the rest in his knapsack; he had about enough for a few more days, and then he'd be in trouble Eric, wherever he ould certainly let Siht result in Eric's parents calling Siht he was on a school field trip, that would do hiht That was the amount of time he had Before he ran out of blood, before his mother started to wonder where he was and called the school looking for him Before she started to remember He was a vampire now He was supposed to have eternity But what he had was days

He had been so careful Tried so hard for what he thought of as a normal life-school, friends, his own house, his own bedroom It had been strained, but that hat life was Other options see about And yet Ca in his head What about in ten years, when you are supposed to be twenty-six? In twenty years? Thirty? Do you think no one will notice that as they age and change, you do not?

The situation he had created for himself, had carved so carefully in the shape of his old life, had never been per in his chest It never could have been He'd been clinging to shadows and ain of Camille, of her offer It sounded better now than it had before An offer of a community, even if it wasn't the community he wanted He had only about threefor his answer And ould he tell her when she did? He'd thought he knew, but noasn't so sure

A grinding noise interrupted his reverie The garage door was ratcheting upward, bright light spearing into the dark interior of the space Simon sat up, his whole body suddenly on the alert

"Eric?"

"Nah It's me Kyle"

"Kyle?" Sireed to take on as a lead singer Siht None of the other guys are here right now, so if you were hoping to practice"

"It's cool That's not why I ca in the darkness, his hands in the back pockets of his jeans "You're whatshisnaot to his feet, brushing garage floor dust off his clothes "I'lanced around, a perplexed furroeen his brows "I leftfor them everywhere Hey, there they are" He ducked behind the dru a set of keys triumphantly in his hand He looked much the same as he had the day before He had a blue T-shirt on today under a leather jacket, and a gold saint's medal sparkled around his neck His dark hair was ainst one of the speakers "Were you, like, sleeping here? On the floor?"

Simon nodded "Got thrown out of my house" It wasn't precisely true, but it was all he felt like saying

Kyle nodded sympathetically "Mom found your weed stash, huh? That sucks"

"No Noweed stash" Sied "We had a difference of opinion about irlfriends?" Kyle grinned He was good-looking, Simon had to adood-looking he was, Kyle looked like someone who probably hadn't brushed his hair in weeks There was an open, friendly puppyishness about hih "Yeah, Kirk told me about it Good for you, man"

Simon shook his head "It wasn't that"

There was a short silence between them Then:

"Idon't live at hoed his ar his head down His voice was low "I haven't talked to ht on et it"

"Your tattoos," Sihtly "What do they mean?"

Kyle stretched his arms out "Shaantih shaantih shaantih," he said "They're mantras from the Upanishads Sanskrit Prayers for peace"

Nor yourself tattooed in Sanskrit was kind of pretentious But right now, he didn't "Shalom," he said

Kyle blinked at him "What?"