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Danny was sitting up against the headboard, his knees drawn up against his chest A sort of guy version of the fetal position He atching h the room was dark, I could see the red welts around his neck He had regained his breath and I had cal to do with the va to do with the iven strict instruction toyourdisease," he said His voice was ragged and torn, as if he were speaking through a very old ed throat "That is, should anything suspicious happen to e of the bed A sick realization came over me Danny, despite my threats of bodily harm, would have the upper hand in this situation
"I&039;ve co Froo to your account with the butchery in Norco"
"No one will believe it They&039;ll think you&039;re crazy"
"Maybe, maybe not"
"What does that mean, Danny?"
"I&039;ve included in the packet two additional ite a mirror up to you while you slept, and a vial of your own tainted blood"
"Are you insane?" I asked
"Maybe But I want the kids, and I want them safe, and I want you to stay away and keep your filthy hands off ain as I absorbed all of this I was stuck Whether or not anyone believed his story or bothered to test the vial of blood was debatable, but one I could not chance I had known early on that I could never, ever risk being exposed
"What about the kids?" I asked
He took a deep breath and drew his knees up higher "I&039; the kids, Samantha"
I needed a clear , that much I understood, that much I could try to deal with But to take the kids
When I spoke again, I was the voice of reason and calm "Danny, baby, listen to iven the soul, especially not my kids They need their mother"
He snorted "After what just happened? My God, Sa to kill me"
"I was furious, Danny You&039;ve been cheating on me Hell, you practically flaunted it in my face Anyone woman�Dany mother�Dwould have reacted the same way" I paused He rubbed his neck and winced "They need their ree, which is why I will allow you to see theedly He knehat he was doing toht me on this either, Sam Don&039;t make me expose you for the monster that you are, because I will I will do it to save the kids"
"Danny, please"
"I&039;m sorry I truly am You never deserved this to happen to you, and you never asked for it Neither did I Neither did the kids But I a, Sah now to understand that ood anymore"
In a flash of rare compassion, he reached out and took my hand I noticed he didn&039;t recoil in horror, or hold it limply He held it firmly and compassionately "This is for the best, Sam Now you can liveyour life, however you need to live it You don&039;t have to worry about picking the kids up fro to parent/ teacher conferences, or about staying up with the kids during the day if one is sick You can be free to be who you are, to be what you are, whatever that is"
He kept talking, but I wasn&039;t sure if I was listening I could only think ofup without theirtheir faces everyday Worse, I realized there was nothing I could do short of kidnapping them, and I would never do that because what kind of life would that be? Danny continued talking, extolling the virtues of being onamy hand, and I knew that my kids were lost to me Every other weekend see a mother never looked better, and every time I tried to state my case the words failed ht
I am a monster I am unnatural They deserve better
Bullshit I&039;m their mother
No matter what
I had always known this day was coainst it so hard I had tried to do everything right and it still wasn&039;t enough
"If I proive you the kids to raise homever you choose, can I ask you one favor?"