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One would think most of the eyes would be faced forward at a funeral, but they weren’t A lot of people stared at our group, namely Aiden and usted Those looks came from the pures The halfs just seehtened around ave me a faint sation was staring at us, but he held onto my hand I think he knew I needed that connection

It was funny how things were so different Before everything had happened, whenever Seth was around large groups of halfs, he got stared at in wonder

I got stared at because I was holding hands with a pure-blood How ht the eye of a pure-blooded student Pures looked just like halfs, but all of us had this gods-given, wonky ability of sensing the difference between the two He stared at us like he wanted to rip my hand out of Aiden’s and then take a day’s worth of ti hands

My eyes narrowed on hie of er

The pure’s head whipped forward Back in the day, I probably would’ve been beaten for that, but I was the Apollyon, so I doubted he’d go tattle And honestly, there were hty

Tightening aze to the pyres The words spoken were in ancient Greek, and for one of the first times in my life, it didn’t translate into "ha" I understood the language, and the words were powerful and , prayers and accolades truly fit for those who’d died by Ares’ hand, but there was so Not that Diana or the otherI didn’t understand it at first, but then I got it

What was …it was inside , and I felt the so over the ca the foot of the pyres, I even thought about Lea and how she deserved this kind of burial, not a hastily dug grave out in the middle of nowhere My chest ached for her and all those ere being mourned

I s, I really didn’t feel the I’d become well faey flames licked into the air and covered the bodies like blankets, I didn’t turn away like I always did The finality of it was muted There was this ball of coldness deep in my chest, sharp shards of ice in my veins, and every so often fear, spiked like the flas I did feel--they were real, and tangible enough that I could taste the else was dulled, like I was disconnected and detached from the rest of the human scale of e this caused that very fear to skyrocket, bringing along a nice little dose of anxiety, and it figured that, since fear and apprehension were like two peas in a messed-up pod, it made sense that if I felt one, I’d feel the other

My heart was pounding like a jackhammer and my palms were sweaty by the time the funeral was over and the sun was directly overhead The crowd started to move back toward the campus There’d be a feast in theit Marcus had left to join Diana Solos was chatting it up with Val, and Luke and Deacon alking ahead with Olivia

Air sawed in and out ofrate, and I only becaood distance between us and the crowd ahead

The cord was spazzing out Maybe it was reaction to hts and sounds were amplified The calls of the birds were shrill Leaves rustled like a thousand papers crinkling The sun was too bright, conversation from the mass of people too loud Gods, the pressure ca down on my chest--holy crap, it was hard to breathe--like sole swept upwith h ht: why couldn’t I really feel anything other than this? Where was the grief? Why did ry or scared? But last night, when I’d been in Aiden’s arms, the numbness hadn’t felt so bad, like the lid had been unscrewed just a bit iven day, I experienced a hundred different things like I was trying ice creaht or normal, and it terrifiedonto my hand, he looked over his shoulder at "

Facing me fully, he cocked his head to the side, broered "What do you mean?"

I placedin here"

Aiden started to let go of ?"

"I don’t know" I took a shallow breath "I can’t feel anything except--except fear and pain Everything else feels muted I can’t cry--I didn’t even cry when I sawface "You saw yourin with rotten claws "I didn’t even tell you about that, and I tell you everything I haven’t even thought about it, not really I’ is meh"

Concern replaced the surprise as he shifted closer "Do you think it’s Seth?"

I shook my head so fast the choppy hair s to me"

"But that doesn’tthe concern

"It doesn’t ain, does it have tothe hair back from oing to feel? What--"

"Whoa Slon, Alex" Aiden cuppedto always feel this way You’ve been through so to take ti Take a deep breath Come on, just a deep breath Inhale, and let it out slowly"

I gripped his wrists, barely able to get ers around the"

"Good" The silver hue of his eyes waswithI don’t knohy I did what I did next Maybe it was because if I didn’t really feel this, I was screwed six ways fro up on the tips of my toes, I kissed Aiden