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Chapter Eleven

EVA

The weekend went by too fast Watching Cage drive away again had hurt just as bad as it had the first tiet back to do kid’s baseball camps that the school held each summer Those that were on a full ride scholarship were expected to work the camps He had tried to convince ht He had pro and he’d get a job We would be together and honestly it sounded wonderful

But I couldn’t let hione, Cage would have lost his dream For me I could never allow that He would resent me one day Maybe not soon but one day he’d wonder "what if" and it would be all my fault So I’d used the excuse that I wanted this future for us again and pushed hi it would be three weeks before he came back this time had just about done me in

Jeremy had held me for at least an hour and let h for his car to turn the corner out of sight before I’d crubetter I was sleeping in hts I’d slept in the barn so I could sthere so I oing to rip onin the sheets we’dreed to have dinner at the Beasley’s Jereht and I finally agreed to it I couldn’t hold a grudge against Elaine forever She had been aup I knew her love for Josh taintedme with anyone other than Josh had to be painful for her We’d been inseparable from the tie photo that still hung over their fireplace of Josh and Jeremy when they were fourteen, I realized that a part ofto ache for hie deeper than I’d ever loved Josh I still loved him He wasSometimes I wondered what he’d say about Daddy What his ords would be If only you could talk to someone on the other side when you needed to

"For the longest I wanted her to take that down," Jereed ood to walk in here and see his face Rereed with hiood ti up into their identical faces I knew the difference though It was in their eyes Josh always had that restless twinkle He wanted h Jere here on the far else

"He sure loved you I’lad he had you in his life, Eva You row up and have a family of his own but he did knohat it was like to be in love"

I slad I had him He will always have a place in my heart"

"Yeah, I know That makes it easier sometimes when it hurts I know he’s still alive in our hearts"

I reached over and took Jere happy times

"I’ll have that with Daddy too The ood tiht of Daddy being gone like Josh one day

"He’ll be alive in all our hearts too Just like Josh They won’t every really be gone Not for us"

Jeremy slipped his arle tear slid down one I’d hold hio down to the lake and swim We haven’t done that in years Then you can show me all those constellations you used to try to convince Josh and I were up there"

I nodded "Yeah, let’s go do that I don’t want to go hoave us sohts on and shown theht Jeremy turned on the radio and left the doors open so ould have soht in high school It was nice to ree and all we’d done down at this lake It would only ht I wanted to be free of the ever-constant ache in my chest

"You ever wonder what’s in this lake besides catfish?" Jere underwater He was grinning atfrom the water Crazy boy I wasn’t scared of the lake I’d been swi in it all my life I knew there were critters in it but I also knew they were more scared of me than I was of them

"I’m not one of your silly little dates, Jeremy That won’t ith me," I called out

"What about if I tell you I killed a bed ofdown by the bend?"

Rolling e and sat down in the shalloater "You’ve been killing snakes down here since you learned to shoot a gun"

Jerehed "You’re no fun at all, Eva Brooks"

Ss out in front of et warht when it was cooler

"You act like you greith boys"

"Strange I know," I quipped I had grown up with boys and he knew it

Jeremy came over and sat down beside e phone call?" he asked

"He calls at eleven unless he text me that it will be later"

"It’s after ten now You ready to head back?"