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[Handwritten uard]

Jax,

I didn’t knohether you’ll get this, but they said they would let you read low-tech correspondence I’, so bear with me I’’s via vid or voice to text, you know?

I think about you all the ti with everyone else Dina and Hit have been et theet put in the saes, much to their dismay

Vel came up with a plan to break you out, just to see if he could I hear they have you in solitary, and they aren’t peroing in They have a record of the way I stole you froht try a siht you wanted that It’s just as well they won’t letyou like that would be et you out of there or die trying

But you made your choice, and I respect that, even if I don’t understand it I can love you without always getting how your mind works At one point, I would’ve said I knew you better than anyone, but even you--when I’ve been inside so deep I couldn’t tell where you stopped and I began--retain secret depths and hidden spaces I suspect I’d adore that mystery if I didn’t wind up coldcocked by it so often

I can’t take sitting here, Jax Doing nothing I’ too much, and I don’t sleep While I worry about you, I also can’t stop thinking about ht be in good hands in that state home, but he needs to know he has other options Fahed this, wrestled with it And I can’t think what else to do

So I’ to Nicu Tertius to look for him Before the war ended, I promised myself I’d do whatever it took to save him I won’t fail him like I failed my sister; I’ll be there for him

I’ll write when I can with et out, as I know you will They won’t be stupid enough to hurt you; they just need to put on a show for the grieving families I’m sorry I’m not there with you, but they won’t let me be I would be, if I couldYou know that But I can’t sit and do nothing for however long your trial takes, and this child needs me

It kills me that I don’t even know his name

Love you always

March

[Handwritten reply, sent via Nola Hale]

March,

I’uess we have no choice On the other hand, maybe it’s easier this way I can talk to this paper because it won’t judge me Not that you do

Oh, Mary, I love you And I’, as if Idevice Prison isn’t like it is on the vids At least, this one isn’t I’ht, and it’s all tooth and nail, but this place is painfully civilized, white, and silent Except for exercise periods, I never see anyone but reat care of uts and would love to kill ally responsible for my safety

So out ofanywhere That’s when I close my eyes and think of you I’ve h h I want you so bad I hurt with it, I’ers like no ache I’ve ever had There’s a sweetness to it because I know it’s ending, and when I see you, everything will be all right again Because you love me, even if I’m a monster Six hundred soldiers, March How can I live with that? Somy defense

I won’t pretend it doesn’t hurt--the thought of you going Itto do And your nephew needs you I get it

My ti to take me back to my cell I’m not allowed to take this device with oes well

Jax

CHAPTER 8

The fe forout for you? Three squares a day," she says "Exercise with the other cellies I hope you like your own coain A hum and a buzz--that’s all it takes to drive home an immutable sense of isolation At least I still have March’s letter; I read it a hundred tiht--I don’t want to be rescued I understand why he’s not sitting around Ocklind He has a personal ht nowbut I treasure that letter like nothing I ever owned

I didn’t put downme But what could he do if he stayed? It could be o to trial, and I can’t see his will be closed There’s nothing he can do here for me, but I hate that he left

Thereafter, the days pass in a htmare I once saw an old vid where convicts adopted rats and cockroaches to stave off loneliness, butcan crawl in

Except despair There’s plenty of room for that

To drive off the h the drills, practicing forinary opponent Froainst the wall, crunches, push-ups After a while, I stop counting; I just work until sweat streams off me, my muscles feel like water, and I cannot do another rep At that point I stagger to my bunk and lie there in a daze Rinse, repeat As time passes, I notice a difference in my body, what they call prison fit

Ms Hale coularly to pick my brain as she shapesat ht spot that is exercise time There are five other female prisoners in my block, but they don’t speak to e fraternization

On uard lady comes to fetch me earlier than usual, before I’ve had my first meal

"Your barrister’s here"

Mary, I hope it’s good news Without letting my hopes spike too sharply, I follow the old scren the hall to the visiting chambers Ms Hale is as polished and coiffed as ever Not for the first time, I wonder about her fees; but she refuses to discuss that with me, as I am her client but not her e