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CLAUDIA WAITED OUTSIDE against the hallall, keeping an eye on both the entrance and exit The original design for the group showers had been to have only one way in and out, but I&039;d vetoed that Yes, it o entrances that had to be watched, but one way in and out ot far enough past our defenses to attack the showers, then a second way out of them probably wouldn&039;t help He had a point, but so did I, and the bodyguards voted with me Paranoia was our friend
There was a locker area complete with restrooh wo down here that it wasn&039;t as silly as e&039;d first had it put in It was nice not to be the only girl When ere in the locker area Nicky reirl He took me in his arms, and kissed me
The kiss was soft, and then he pulled back, and looked at my face with that one blue eye and the fall of his hair over the other side of his face "Did that hurt?"
"No," I said
He grinned, a fierce baring of teeth, and kissed ain This tiainst mine, and it did hurt
I drew back "That hurt"
"I want to taste the blood in your mouth, before the sex helps heal you"
"You aren&039;t a sadist You don&039;t enjoy causing pain"
"No, but I&039;ht now your mouth will taste like both"
"So like that" I studied his face, searching for a clue as to what it meant to him Was this a bit of kink that he&039;d always enjoyed, but it had just never come up before, or was it a test of how much I trusted him?
He was , but Brides were different from any other metaphysical tie that I had I couldn&039;t feel his e to me It meant he was, in some ways, a mystery to me
I realized I was a little spoiled that I could just peek, or share emotions with almost everyone else I used to hate the intrusive psychic connection; now I counted on it
"Don&039;t you trust me?" he asked
Ah, the trust tests "You&039;re ht you couldn&039;t cause me pain, that it bothered you to do that"
"You like a little pain mixed with your sex I think it&039;ll translate to pleasure for you, and I know I&039;ll enjoy the blood, meat, and sex"
I nodded "Yeah, the whole prey-predator-chase thing gets confused with sex for rinned "If eren&039;t kinky before the change, we are after"
I sue that"
"Can I kiss you the way I want?"
"Let&039;s take the weapons off first," I said
"Why?" he asked
"Because once you get the taste of blood and et the weapons and I don&039;t want you tearing the custoetthat blue eye with a shining joy "Okay" He let go of uns I started with the wrist sheaths and the two silver-edged blades It would take uns Nicky did guns, and kept one folding blade for utility purposes He didn&039;t actually see the knife as a weapon, though I knew he could fight with a blade if he had to, but it wasn&039;t his forte He preferred guns or hand-to-hand He&039;d proven just how good he ithout weapons in the fight with Ares
"You&039;re all serious," he said, "and not thinking about sex You&039;re al?"
"You&039;re that finely attuned to my mood, "
"You know I live to make you happy"
"I&039;m sorry that you actually mean that and it&039;s not ro off the waist holster and the Browning BDM I&039;d already put the knives in one of the little open lockers that came with its own key and lock
"I know you&039;re sorry that you took most of my free will I appreciate that it bothers you, but I would have killed you, and Micah, Nathaniel, Jason, all of you, if iven the order I&039;d have done it without blinking"
I was left looking into his face again, trying to figure hi at a wall: save nothing away, and I didn&039;t think it was the blankness Jean-Claude had fought to master, or my cop face It was more than that, or less Sociopaths don&039;t have to show emotion; they do it most of the time because they&039;ve learned to ape what "normal" people show them, but they never really understand the emotions they act like they have; they are the ultimate actors It&039;s how they blend in, andjust like they are;emotions that either they never had, or were abused out of them Nicky was an abuse survivor - that was how he&039;d lost his eye - so he&039;d had emotions once; maybe he understood them better because of that, or maybe not?
"That&039;s one of the reasons I rolled you so completely, Nicky Sociopaths don&039;t help anybody but themselves"
"You&039;re as ruthless as I was, Anita, but it costs you It makes you feel bad, makes you doubt yourself I didn&039;t have that problem"
"Because you were a sociopath," I said
"You say that like it&039;s changed, Anita; it hasn&039;t I&039;m still a sociopath, I just can&039;t act on it most of the time because you don&039;t want s I think about so bad"
"So, what, I&039;m like your version of Jiminy Cricket?"
"Nathaniel showed me that movie so I&039;d understand what the hell you meant by that, so yeah, you&039;rebad You ood"
"But you still don&039;t have any desire to be good?" I said
He shrugged, put the last of his weapons in his locker, and closed the small metal door He didn&039;t lock it; he didn&039;t bother No one as allowed in the underground of the Circus would have dared touch anyone else&039;s weapons People died over s like that
He worked his T-shirt out of his jeans and started lifting his shirt up He did it slower than normal so that he revealed the flat stomach, the spread of his lats on the side of his lower chest, then the upper chest, and the shoulders swelling with muscle, and last his arms, bare and ht my breath a little in my throat I looked up to his face, that yellow, yellow hair that was actually his natural color, with that V of bang that fell across his face in a haircut that should have gone on someone ent to anime conventions, or dance clubs and raves Nicky could dance, which had surprised ood at hurting and killing people, he&039;d have been great as a dancer at Guilty Pleasures The wo as hell when he had to pretend He probably could have danced there for a weekend just to prove he could do it He was coh for that, but he wasn&039;t temperamentally suited to make it his per everything I wanted you to think and feel for a second, and now you&039;ve gone all serious" He moved toward ot there "What are you thinking?"
"What a?" I asked