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Chapter Forty-three

FACES TURNED TO us as we stuh the door There was no vestibule, so the three of us were just suddenly in view of the crowd Nathaniel and I were breathing as if we&039;d run a mile Only Graham was calm at my side Edward and Olaf fanned out to either side of us Micahoff his beast? I trusted his happening that I didn&039;t trust anyone else to handle

The area behind the pulpit had becoe in masks What could only be Coluant in a skintight version of the Harlequin&039;s old with a short half skirt to pretend at old tricorn hat had multicolored balls to echo the colors of the rest Her mask left a white chin and crimson mouth bare The man beside her was much taller than she was, dressed in a white mask like the one they&039;d sent us in the first box His face was an empty blankness trapped in the black hooded cloak that covered him to his ankles A black tricorn hat coht and dark, color and not

The thirdbeside Jean-Claude and his vampires Damian and Malcolm were close at his side, behind Asher But the last ure wasn&039;t a vampire

He looked o to Carnival Theeven the back of the head, a hood instead of a mask It was the broad shoulders frahtly paler version of his summer tan, that let me knoas Richard He&039;d come to stand at Jean-Claude&039;s side after all Jake and souard olves stood behind him

Asher stood on the other side of Jean-Claude, his hair catching the lights like spun gold Remus and a handful of other werehyenas stood behind him Most of Jean-Claude&039;s vae But Elinore and a few others weren&039;t there because Jean-Claude had ed to take the Harlequin with us, he trusted Elinore to rebuild the city&039;s va with Haven and his werelions Rafael and his wererats were there, on the stage There was an ocean of wereanie The two Harlequin looked so outnu to be a stand-up fight It looked like we ht Of course, the Harlequin standing in the church had scouted us; they knew our resources Maybe there was ht instead of a physical one

My pulse had started to slow We started up the aisle, Graham a little ahead of us all, Nathaniel and I still hand in hand Micah was still giving us rooht We didn&039;t need another visit froht we&039;d get to the stage I thought I&039;d get to touch Jean-Claude, and Daht otherwise

Her power poured over the congregation like invisible sht in my throat I felt her power touch so on her power I was choking on her power I dropped Nathaniel&039;s hand and grabbed for the back of a pew Whatever was happening, I didn&039;t want it spreading to Nathaniel

"Anita," he said, "what&039;s wrong? I feel power, but"

I shook my head I couldn&039;t talk past the feel of her power It was alht, airy, and deadly Va to the floor I fought to stand and stared at the vaant could be called a clown I realized I wasn&039;t choking It wasn&039;t death the power offered, but it was the end of free will Her as so large, so powerful, that it would be slavery I could feel it She would control us as surely as I could control a zo close toertip sticking into ainst my will "Be mine," it whispered "Be mine"

Nathaniel touchedback that cold touch I could think again, feel again, take a deep breath again

My oer roared to life My necro that was necro touch There was nothing delicate about what I did I sh that deceptive softness Hit it, and found the steel nail underneath the lie of gentleness It was all lies There was nothing gentle, nothing kind Submit, the power breathed Be mine, I&039;ll take care of you, I&039;ll take away all your proble words I drowned her voice ina hotel because you didn&039;t like your roo in the aisle when I hadn&039;t realized I&039;dwith Nathaniel&039;s hand in ish in a dozen veins Vampires turned and looked at me, because they had no choice I&039;d smashed her power and replaced it with ht, so slow the beat, so sluggish the pulse We needed food

Nathaniel&039;s hand convulsed around ht Had he shared it? I could suddenly smell their skin, half a dozen different perfuarettes, aftershave I could smell their skin as if I&039;d put my face just above their ar in the sensations of them last ti , not atWere they talking? I couldn&039;t hear them It was as if all my senses were narrowed down to scent and touch and vision

I felt her power draard, like you&039;d take a breath before blowing out a candle Except this candle was a few hundred vampires That power spilled outward, and it was like wateraround the rocks of the vampires that Nathaniel and I could sense We could save them, but the rest the rest were lost

Damian cried out, in my head, a scream Nathaniel and I turned and found Malcolm wrapped around Damian, Malcolm&039;s mouth shoved into Damian&039;s throat Malcol his bloodto him It made no sense Then the power hit us Hit me

It was like a door blew open inside my head Nathaniel cried out, and I echoed him My power, our power, bleard over the other vampires Malcolm had created almost every vampire in here He had trusted no one else Now he blood-oathed hi his power to sendthe them But I think Malcol tohimself to me and not Jean-Claude would make it a weaker bond, but I&039;d never blood-oathed souidance I only knew one way to do anything, and that was all the way

In one of those moments that lasts forever, and is the blink of an eye, I saw inside Malcolht he could control me and retain some control of his people It wasn&039;t words, but more pictures, like some dream shorthand, if dreams could slap you as they ran across your mind I&039;d alondered if Malcolm&039;s motives were as pure as they seemed I&039;d assumed it was a bid for power; all va his people, cradling thes into their throats to give the, a ceree of a nun to God It was his fault that the joining was so co that ravity well that any vampire would ever touch It sucked him in, and I could not stop it

But I was of Belle Morte&039;s line, and all our talents are double-edged blades I felt his power dive as deep inside me as mine in him, and I couldn&039;t keep it out And it wasn&039;t just my mind Nathaniel&039;s and Damian&039;s memories flooded to the surface Nathaniel as a little boy, a ry stomach, then hands where Malcolm broke the memory before he went further He understood that I could not steer us through these waters He couldn&039;t break as happening, but his centuries of being athe surface and not drown Daht; the as so fresh, the sea seon That dark stairway, the screams, the smells Malcolm drew us away from it My mother&039;s funeral, and I drew us away fro you don&039;t want to see, and you blink, and look away You look away, and there&039;s another picture

Malcoles to go with the scents and tactile explosion in our heads I knew that the girl who se, but was fighting to get enough nighttiree I knew that the fahborhood that did not want them I knew that the "child" was the ave us the probleave hi a collar, a dozen different aftershaves, twenty different perfumes, from powdery sweetness to an herbal cleanness that was alhs, as our poept over theave him back upturned faces as they shivered at the touch of power that wasMalcolm had shown them It didn&039;t have to be sexual, but it was a dance of the senses To be touched by Belle&039;s line of vaainst your arm, just your arm, could cover your body in shivers

MalcolNathaniel and I ended in a heap on the carpeted aisle Hands had to catch Damian or he would have fallen

"You have not saved them, Malcolm When I wrest the on a leash" The voice was clear and bell-like, echoing to the ends of the big church I didn&039;t think it was vampire powers It was more like a voice that had been trained centuries before microphones existed

Jean-Claude touched Malcol He answered with a voice that sounded almost ordinary compared to Coluot, but soained that you would duel the first to use ic Ma petite, my servant, did not know these rules"

"We also promised not to use our servants to bolster our powers," she said

"So I was not allowed to contact her ht have plotted behind my back"

"But you did not attack ation That seeain first" His voice held a shiver at the end, and the entire congregation reacted to it, shuddering They began to gaze at him, some reluctantly, but they heard him now, felt hiht in one thing Blood-oathing toto Jean-Claude Blood ofher leopards and her vampire I could have reached out to ain But if she was allowed to gain power from others, then it seemed fair that I could do the same"

"You can feed off the combined power of all the vampires" Jean-Claude made it a statement

"Yes," she said, and sounded pleased with herself

Edward and Olaf were standing on either side of us like good bodyguards It was Micah who knelt and asked, "Are you safe to touch?"

I knehat hespread by touch? "I think I&039;rabbed my elbow and lifted, effortlessly Graham offered Nathaniel a hand We both swayed a little, but ere upright Yea

Coluation and use theh to win a fight with Jean-Claude, h me, Jean-Claude&039;s

"You are too late," Malcoliven them to my master"

"Oh, such bonds, when fresh, are not so firm," she said

"Bold words, Columbine," Jean-Claude said, and his voice slid over my skin Nathaniel shivered beside me I felt two hundred vampires, or more, react to that voice One vampire cried out, "Malcolm, save us from this lecher and his whore"

I turned and found theat Malcolry, but then sensed a thought, and I could feel his fear Jean-Claude&039;s voice had made this heterosexual man&039;s body react Just the voice, ordinary words; Jean-Claude wasn&039;t even trying, not yet Hoould I feel if it were a feht made me think of Belle Morte She&039;d done a lot ht heat in a rush up ht of her body, her hands on me Then I could taste her mouth, the sweetness of her lipstick The silk of her skin clung to ainst the leather of et some other sensation, but it didn&039;t help The feel of her skin clung to ers like a cobweb that I could not brush away

Nathaniel started to touchdown the aisle I needed Jean-Claude, or Asher I needed someone who understood her power better than I did Maybe it was just a reaction to what she had done to oing to try to take ht

I don&039;t know if Coluht it was the ardeur, but she see; a weakness She attacked the congregation again, but what she&039;d done before had been a feint She&039;d just been pretending to try Her power cut through the va sword Where it touched, they screamed, and the ties that bound them to me, to Jean-Claude, seared away It was as if she literally could cut the ile to hold

One of the vampires she cut free stumbled into the aisle and fell on all fours at , but apparently it hurt A ray eyes wide He screamed, "Master, help me!" He didn&039;t reach toward Malcolm, or Jean-Claude He was inches away, and he reached for me

I took his hand I didn&039;t even think about it His hand was bigger than mine, so it was his hand that encircledHe came out of the pew and wrapped hi in the world I hugged hiht, and the feel of Belle Morte&039;s skin faded under the irl on the floor crawled to

She wrapped herself around our legs, the nameless vampire and me I was of Belle Morte&039;s line I kne to stop the pain I kne to bring them back and ray-eyed man He bent toward me, folded his tall frame doard I held his face in my hands and went up on tiptoe His mouth found mine, and we kissed His lips were dry, nervous, afraid, but I did so I&039;d never been able to do before: I was able to draw a little bit of the ardeur I understood, as if the light had finally dawned, that the ardeur didn&039;t have to be an ocean It could be a single drop of rain, to wet the lips I gave that tiny bit of power to him, breathed it into his mouth I found the broken piece inside him that Columbine had cut She had cut it with pain and force, and offered the She had showed them torture, fire, to burn and destroy theentleness I offered love If I hadn&039;t tasted Malcolm&039;s power only moments before, maybe I couldn&039;t have done it, but his intent was so pure, so unselfish, that it was like the ardeur had learned a new flavor I offered that flavor to theave them cool water and safety She offered terror and punishment She was threat I was promise

I won them back with a kiss, a touch They poured fro the into the crowd, touching, a kiss here and there There was a gentleness to the ardeur that I had never felt before Columbine&039;s power died under a wave of kindness A wave of touch, and chaste kisses A wave of offering help We will save you We will take away your pain She should have re they own, everything they are, to be taken care of, and to have their pain gone It&039;s the lure of cults: the proood family; it&039;s what people think love is, but love isn&039;t absence of pain, it&039;s a hand to hold while you&039;re going through it

Columbine screamed her frustration, and she broke the pact She reached out to Giovanni I felt her touch him Not the hand that she took, but her power The power that we had been pushing back suddenly took a leap I felt it like a huge tidal wave rising above us I turned and looked up as if there should be soness hit It was like standing in the ony, death, but you had to breathe Power seared down ht to screa but pain

A voice came out of that pain and said, "I will make the pain stop Be mine, and it will stop" I screamed my defiance to that voice in my head, but it was the kind of pain that eventually would break you Eventually, you&039;d si, just to uely, I felt the carpet of the floor underneathon it, but the pain ate all other sensations My vision ran in streaes, as if my eyes could not see past the pain Hands tried to hold me down, but my body wouldn&039;t be still It hurt too much to be still

The voice in o Let go They are strangers to you; let o"

I didn&039;t even knoho "the but the pain, and so underneathto burn its way out

Hands held h hands that I had to feel them They were firm and real, and it was like an anchor in the pain I could feel the hands, feel that they were real Which ht, the sun dazzledcovered my mouth Lips, a kiss, and down that kiss was the sweet musk of leopard My leopard rose to that scent The sun ar I rose with Micah&039;s beast, two black furred creatures that writhed and danced, and rose up and up, toward the light The pain fell away as I remembered fur and claw, and teeth, andthat she could make burn Her power only worked on the dead I was reminded that I was very much alive

I blinked up into Micah&039;s face fro my face between theht on s, but there were a lot of hands I smelled wolf and hyena and hu me down

Micah stared down at me with his leopard eyes "Anita?" He said my name like a question

"I&039;m here," I whispered

Micah crawled off of ht leg, and Re Graham was onme "You can let me up now"

"Not yet," Edward said I realized he was up on all fours, putting his full body weight on just the one arm I wondered how hard he had had to work to hold me down

"You acted as if you were about to shift," Re pinned

"If there is another aniin human form as Graha down I think the strength had impressed even Olaf What the hell had I done?

I wanted to argue, but the looks on everyone&039;s face said that I had scared them, or at least i I could say would led on the ground, held down, sort of helpless in the ht, Jean-Claude, and "

"But ma petite won, Columbine She withstood Giovanni&039;s power All the pain you caused her, and she did not let you use her to own the other vampires They are still mine You cannot feed upon their powers, as you had planned"

I could turn e, but Coluht I needed to be at his side Call it a hunch, but bad things were co You could feel it in the air

"Someone has talked out of turn," she said

"I felt your power, Colureat fire to feed your power No one had to bear tales for me to understand what you meant to do You can take other vareat weapon"

"Yes," she said

"Butthese little va them into your army, your source of power What will you do now that you cannot win power in this way?" His voice breathed through my head, "You beside me would be well,Let h the church It sought to feed your doubts, no, to feed on them I&039;d met vampires who could feed on lust, on fear, but never one who fed on doubt Dear God, she fed on it, and she could cause it, just like the vamps who fed off lust and fear I was suddenly overwhel to die, and there was nothing I could do about it

"God" Remus almost moaned it He had his head in his hands Edward and Olaf seemed the least affected Micah reached out to me I let him draw me into the circle of his arth of hi in ed for it to stop I heard one , just stop it, stop it" There was ht

Nathaniel crawled to us He reached out, head hanging down I touched his hand and a surge of power knocked back the doubts He raised his face and gave htened like the sun co from behind a cloud He said, "I believe in you"

I drew him into the circle of Micah&039;s body "You make me believe in myself" As it had earlier, Nathaniel&039;s touch chased back the doubts His unwavering certainty kept us both safe fro in the rooet past the certainty that Nathaniel gave me

Damian crawled to us I think partially the doubts assailed hi consumed by the sun had hit him, too I could feel his pain, and the double pain of the ht His tie to ht and not burn, but the terror of the light ht was death, period, end of story He was re his friend&039;s skin peel away under the heat of a surabbed his wrist, I took his hand, and we pulled him into the circle of our arms The moment we touched him, he shuddered, but raised a tear-stained face "Her power is terrible You would do anything to make it stop"

I nodded The croas still crying for help, for it to stop If they&039;d set up sier Jean-Claude had had, then it inning over the crowd that would decide it An actual member of the vampire council had come to town He was the Earthmover, he could cause earthquakes with his power To save the city and keep the destruction to a ree that they would fight with less destructive powers, and one of the tests would be which one could sway the audience at the Circus of the Da this crowd on our side, ere about to lose