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18

Gregory crawled to us on all fours, sniffing just above our bodies He said in that growling voice, "Me next"

I had to look up and back overback with hiht line down his body, and suddenly I was more embarrassed than I had been Shapeshifters look sort of like they do in thedifference They have genitalia, and right at that ory was very, very happy to be here I think what bothered otten it fro me have sex with Damian For soory had enjoyed the show

"Back off, Gregory," I said, and my voice sounded harsh and like I meant it, even while I blushed

He did his kitty-cat impression of a smile and backed off, literally He put his head down, and crawled backward, abasing hiesture closer to a real wolf than a real leopard, but wereaniestures just translate better to our huestures

Da down at me, and the look was not one that I&039;d ever seen on asex He looked sad, and I re the pleasure like evil chocolate ruining your ice cream

But it was more than the look on his face I realized that I could feel his sadness Feel it, not like it wasto my skin I was still hooked up to him eed deep insideworse I needed to stop touching him And not just hiers still tangled in ainst me, so that our bodies touched from shoulder to hip He must have scooted closer when Damian finished I think I would have rethe act Wouldn&039;t I?

His lavender eyes were unfocused, alh his skin was contentreat warm ocean that filled him, floated hi, orunease, because his eyes focused, sharpened, and the look in them wasn&039;t the least bit sleepy It was al about next time Since I didn&039;t think he&039;d had a first tier always did

"Everybody off, out of the pool," I said

Damian&039;s sorroas almost like rain on ht to panic, afraid he&039;d done soht, Nathaniel, you&039;re alright We&039;re all alright" I wasn&039;t sure I actually believed that down to ot off ofto h so untangled, Micah cah the splintered door I&039;d been found in co positions by boyfriends before, but never with less embarrassment He didn&039;t ask stupid questions or make me feel like a slut In fact he concentrated on the"Wow," he said, and theseemed to take in the blood scattered here and there on the floor and the walls, the injuries that he could see on most of us, the broken door, all of it, but what he said out loud was, "Is everybody alright?"

I started to get up off the floor, and Damian offered me a hand up I wouldn&039;t have taken it normally, but we&039;d just had sex, and it seemed odd to slap away his hand The moment my hand touched his, I realized it was ainst his was still there One ood sex didn&039;t take away centuries of need Sex was like some kind of fuel like food--you burned it up and needed htly shaky step away from Nathaniel and Damian A little distance would be helpful, I hoped "We&039;ll all live," I said

"Good" He cocked his head to one side and said, "I didn&039;t know that Damian could walk around this early in the day"

"He can&039;t," I said

"Do I say the obvious, &039;but he is walking around during the day,&039; or do you wantquestions?"

I was suddenly tired, and I probably wasn&039;t the only one "Have you been to bed at all?"

He shook his head, and as if I&039;d relasses already tucked into the front of his shirt "When I drove the guy hoirlfriend and a child Girlfriend started a fight about his drinking Anger does not help you fight the change"

"Did he shift?" I asked

"No, but it was close, and he&039;s so new" Micah shook his head again "I&039;d feel better if the girlfriend was a little erous he could be She just didn&039;t seem to understand"

"She didn&039;t want to understand," Richard said

Micah turned and looked at him I realized that of all the people in the room, Richard had been the only one that Micah hadn&039;t really looked at "Then you&039;ve irlfriend"

Richard started to shake his head, stopped in mid-motion, and winced "No, but I&039;ve seen it The human spouse just doesn&039;t want to understand that they&039;re married to a monster" I think he meant it to sound matter-of-fact, but it didn&039;t It sounded bitter

I&039;d never made Richard feel like that, that I knew of; no, he&039;d spent a great deal o I let it go because I didn&039;t knohat to say, or if there was anything to say Okay, I had one thing to say "The coalition is offering a iven flyers out to the olves"

Richard got to his feet, cradling his arm "This is my Patrick, Patrick Cook?"

Micah said, "Yes"

"And you&039;ve been baby-sitting hiain

Richard looked down at the floor, then back up He aze, but his face wasn&039;t co after my wolf"

"The wolves are part of the coalition, too," Micah said, "I&039;d do the same for anyone&039;s people"

"All the same, thank you"

"Don&039;t mention it"

There was one of those aard silences I hated to leave everybody alone, but I really needed a shower The shoould hurt the wound on my throat, but I&039;d just had sex without a condoone into me, but it wouldn&039;t stay there So I needed to clean up Truthfully, I&039;d have preferred a condom, but it hadn&039;t occurred to nant on the pill Yeah, she had fallen afoul of the fact that antibiotics don&039;t mix ith the pill, but still That one percent chance suddenly seeood odds Damian was a thousand-year-old vampire; chances were he was infertile, but still It was one thing getting pregnant by a boyfriend, but pregnant by someone asn&039;t even that well, that see a shower"

They all looked at uess it was abrupt "I&039;m sorry, but I just can&039;t stand here like this anymore So everybody behave themselves I&039;ll be as quick as I can"

"I&039;ll call for a doctor," Micah said

I nodded "Good, good" I suddenly had to not be there, naked, s of fresh sex, with Richard and Micah in the sa Damian and Nathaniel naked didn&039;t help eneral now, but specific nudity, that was still a problem For more reasons than I was comfortable with, I needed to leave the roo in your car in the driveway," Micah said

"My car?" I asked

"No, Richard&039;s, or at least I assuory&039;s car, and that&039;s not the one she&039;s in"

Richard cursed under his breath, soot about Clair"

"Who&039;s Clair?" I asked

He hesitated, then said, "My girlfriend," then he alking to the door holding his arirlfriend, and I&039;m buck naked the first time she sees me Great Well, at least she hadn&039;t seen reat I was shaking my head as I went toward the bathroo voice, who said, "I guess it&039;s none of my business, but should Richard really be in front of the house where cars could see him? He is covered in blood"

I turned and looked at the leopardman and said, "Shit, no" I started for the door, and Micah stopped o I&039;ht now" He squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me

I realized that I hadn&039;t kissed him hello, I always kissed him hello Of course, I was still covered in blood and other bodily fluids, and none of theht not understand that that hy I hadn&039;t wanted to get too close Some of my confusion must have shown on my face, because his save me a little push toward the bathroom, and slapped s here"

"I can&039;t believe you just did that," I said

"Did what?" he said, and he was grinning at me

I could probably count on one hand the nu with laughter as if it were all he could do not to let it out I was happy to see hiood a time, really I was But I wasn&039;t sure as funny, and I didn&039;t have the courage to ask It was probably so I&039;d just done that he found cute I was not cute Confused, fucked-up, bruised, but not cute Nathaniel and Daory, I had to say, "If you touch my ass, I will rip you a new one" I said it as I

"You&039;re no fun," he growled

I looked back just before I turned out of sight of him "Oh, I&039;m a lot of fun, just not for you"

He snarled at me "Bitch"

"Woof, woof," I said, and finally made it into the bathroom

19

I tried not to think in the shower Thinking bad; hot water good I turned the shower head to as hard as the water would go and the let the water beat againstbruises I didn&039;t know I had Once I would have been hurt, really hurt, by the beating that Daiven me Thanks to Jean-Claude&039;s vampire est to heal, and even that would be gone in few days, a week at the outside The healing was great, the rest of it well, let&039;s just say the jury was still out

I heard a noise over the pounding water It tookat the door I tried to ignore it The knocking stopped for a second, and I thought, oh, good, but it started again, louder, as if whoever was knocking thought I hadn&039;t heard the first tihed, turned off the water, and called, "What?"

"Dah the closed door

I stood there a second water dripping intowell?"

"Can&039;t you feel it?"

I thought about it I thought about Daht on lad there was a safety bar in the shower to grab on to It was a shadohat had driven hih the house I wasn&039;t sure we&039;d all survive hi"

I squeezed outto towel off enough for a robe, when the door sprang open Gregory came first in his fur suit, one clawed hand under Daed, half-carried hih the door They carried him toward me, and his fear rode before him I&039;d felt fear before, but not like this It crushed my chest so that I couldn&039;t breathe, closed h to sla had s on, it was as if the terror itself et silk, and I was trying to s it Slick, wet, suffocating, more real than any fear I&039;d ever felt Not real the way an emotion is real, but real the way a rock, a chair, or an ani more

They dropped Damian into my lap, and it was as if every part of my skin ran with chills, and then every inch of my skin tried to craay Tried to craay and leave my body to die My skin would have saved itself if it hadn&039;t been trapped against one with it, but ere trapped under Daht Trapped in his fear, frozen in it If I could have breathed, I would have screamed, but all I could do was drown Drown in Damian&039;s fear

Someone touched my shoulder, but it was distant As if no one&039;s skin were as real to me as Damian&039;s Soasp, as if I hadn&039;t been breathing for a long time, when my breath ca up into Richard&039;s startled face It was his hand onbeside us "Anita, Anita, can you hear rabbed Richard&039;s ar Dao he&039;d be lost As if the fear were some horrible beast that could literally eat hiain "Anita, say so"

"God, it&039;s so awful"

Da alrabbedon as if I were the last solid thing in the world I felt a burst of erateful that I could share his fear Sharing it seemed to make it less, orfear ht a memory It wasn&039;t my memory It was a face that I had never seen before, but one that Da lines, a scar from his forehead to his cheek, where he&039;d been cut in the first raid we&039;d gone on She-who-made-us said once that the scar saved his life, because without it, his hair was more blond than hers, his eyes h for her to leave him whole For even men ere too fair were not safe from her envy The only name I heard in ht That hadn&039;t been his name, anymore than Damian had been mine, ours, his

I slide over ht word Nathaniel was kneeling beside us He&039;d undone his braid so that the vanilla scent of his hair had perfumed around me His hair cascaded around hi intoDamian like a blanket, if a blanket could flow like liquid over a body Nathaniel had covered us in his hair, but had very carefully avoided touching our skin with his He was so close to us that not touching took effort, so close it was as if a sigh would have pressed the line of his body againstonly scent and the furred glide of hair reach us The only thing he gave me of his skin was the warmth of it, which even froainst my skin, as if the warmth of him breathed outward and wanted to touch me Maybe it did

It had been such a sdragged into it hiood as everyone in it Damian oing to do I drew a breath to warn Nathaniel, but didn&039;t have tirabbed Nathaniel&039;s arht As if the world had caught fire and becoolden like the color yellow had spilled out and covered everything Yelloarolden heat Our eyes were dazzled by it We were blind in the light There was nothing but the light and the touch of her se, firht Her hands caressed, but it wasn&039;t real She&039;d dragged us into the light to drink our fear, not our sex

She tore his hand away froht beautiful, sounded like an evil whine in my head, poisonous, because I could not tell her no "One to burn, one to keep"

Perrin turned, fraht itself, his eyes like the sky beyond theHe was tall, his shoulders so wide that he filledbig men So, "Giant!" or their word for it

Perrin stood, covered in the light Covered in the light, but not burning The words that had begun this folly came back, "Perhaps the reason they can walk out with you in the sun, Moroven, is not you sharing poith theained power of their own, to sun walk" A er from the council had said the evil words and left it as a poisonous flea in she-who-ht the ht on his oer For one glorious second, we believed But the look on his face wasn&039;t triu rong

The san to curl off his skin, just like in the ht, but that&039;s not right All the vaht just burst into fla, just instant inferno, poof My puzzlee of terror It helped us watch smoke rise fro us Fla his skin, and for the blink of an eye he was haloed by rich orange and gold fla yellow hair fluttered in the wind of the heat A moment to think, how pretty, then the flames ate over him and his skin craith fire

Perrin shrieked Shrieked, for screa from a man&039;s mouth

We screamed because we had to All the horror, the sorrow, the fear had to come out our mouths, or it would have burst out of our skin and shattered ourreen smell of the deep woods--half Christmas tree pine and half fresh-turned earth I stared at the burning va friend, my brother, but I was calm All I could s, then there was so else--wolf The sweet ht of hi else The es becaan to draay from that awful room Perrin&039;s voice floated down all those years, his screa her name, the name I&039;d heard used for she-who-ed, becah left of Damian&039;s mind in me to understand that Neain, Perrin screamed her name, and Damian echoed it, his screams, which were louder now as the memory faded, his screams were her name, "Nemhain!"

We spilled back into the now, into the floor of my bathroom, into Richard&039;s hand on my arm I started to look into his face, but Da I couldn&039;t see I wrapped rip on Damian&039;s arm We held him, as if he could still run to Perrin&039;s fire and destroy hi, "Nemhain, Nemhain, curse you!" He collapsed so suddenly that I&039;d have fallen back into the glass doors of the shower if Richard hadn&039;t caught ht Da his fall Da in a voice that was more sob than whisper, "Curse you, Ne me hard into the curve of Richard&039;s arm Nathaniel stroked Damian&039;s hair, over and over, the way you&039;d co her na her, when the world suddenly drowned in fear It was as if terror could become air and you had to breathe it in or you would die, but breathing it in was dying, too It was all death All fear It roared through htless, formless, fear so pure that it stopped my heartbeat for a second, a hesitation, as if ht wasn&039;t just a saying There was a breathless moment where I waited for ain, or whether silence was better, anything to escape Anything

The support of Richard&039;s arlass behind me, as if he&039;d closed the door to support me, so he wouldn&039;t have to touch me anymore