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Marianne led me to the rooe bedroom downstairs Hours earlier, the rooht, but now, at nearly three o&039;clock in the afternoon, the room was dim, almost dark The as open, and a breeze had finally found us, spilling the white lacy curtains into the roo fan sat on a kitchen chair so the fan could cool the bed The wallpaper was off-white with a fine line of pink flowers There was a large broater stain in the corner of the ceiling like a giant Rorschach ink blot

The bed was a brass four-poster that had been painted white The bedspread was quilted and looked homemade with a lot of purple¨C and pink-flowered fabric Marianne had folded the bedspread and placed it on top of a large cedar chest that was under the"Too hot for quilts," she&039;d said

Nathaniel lay naked on the pink sheets Marianne tucked the sheets to the tops of his thighs, patting his shoulder in a motherly sort of way I would have protested his state of undress, but I could see the wounds clearly for the first ti with claws had swiped hi about the ht side of his buttocks The wound was deep and ragged on his back, growing more shallow as it worked down his body It must have hurt to have clothes over it, hurt a lot

I was surprised that Nathaniel hadn&039;t flashed ths to show ed?

Marianne pointed to the phone beside the bed "In case your police friend calls you I&039;ve got a cordless phone for normal calls, but I use the bedside phone for pack business"

"So no one can accidentally monitor the cordless phone," I said

Marianne nodded She walked to the vanity, which had a heavy oval irl and I was hurt or lonely, especially when it was so hot, my mother would unbraid my hair and brush it She&039;d brush it until it lay like silk down my back" She turned with a brush in her hands "Even nohen I areatest pleasures is for some friend to brushI brush your hair?"

She s, and I didn&039;t trust it "No, I a you brush Nathaniel&039;s hair"

I kept staring at her "Co me the brush, that too-cheery smile on her face "Part of what makes you vulnerable to Raina is your own squeamishness"

"I&039;m not squeamish"

"Prudishness, then," she said

I frowned at her "What&039;s that supposed to mean?"

"It et embarrassed Every time one of them touches you, you take it sexually That isn&039;t alhat they entle touches Aa relationship with a boyfriend Every touch builds and strengthens it"

My frown deepened "I thought you said it wasn&039;t sexual"

It was her turn to frown "A differentyour relationship with a newborn baby Every touch, every tie hihtened -¨C the everyday intie a bond between you True parenthood is built over years of interdependency The bond between the pack is built lanced back at the bed Nathaniel was still lying there naked except for the sheets on his legs I turned back to Marianne "If he was a newborn baby, I&039;d be fine with hiht be afraid I&039;d drop him, but I wouldn&039;t be embarrassed"

"And that is precisely my point," she said She held the brush out to me "If you could control the munin, you could heal his wounds You could take his pain"

"You&039;re not suggesting that I purposely try to call Raina?"

"No, Anita This is the first lesson, not the graduation exercise Today, I siin to try and be more comfortable around their nudity I believe that if you can desensitize yourself to the more casual sexual situations, that Raina will have less hold on you You draay from situations like this, and that leaves a void, a place where you will not go willingly So Raina spills into that void and forces you to go one on your own"

"And what good will brushing Nathaniel&039;s hair do?"

She held the brush inches froive him coive him a local for the pain, but so him up, the painkiller ear off Theirmore than that can be tricky It can be deadly in one with such a low aura of power as Nathaniel"

I stared up at her,that he&039;ll be stitched up without a painkiller"

She just looked at me

"And that&039;s my fault because I could heal him if I could control the munin"

Marianne shook her head "It is not your fault, Anita, not yet But the uns or your necromancy Once you learn how to control it, it can do wonderful things You must look at the ability to call the ift"

I shook my head "I think you&039;ve exceeded the lesson for the day, Marianne"

She s Not for me Not for Nathaniel, but for yourself Take back that piece of you that looks away froround in your heart"

"And if I can&039;t help being ehts and Raina comes up and tries to eat me, what then?"

Marianne&039;s smile widened "Then I will help you, child We will all help you That is what a pack is for"

"Nathaniel isn&039;t lukoi any more than I am," I said

"Lukoi or pard, it makes no difference to you, Anita You are queen of both castles Growing comfortable with one will help with the other"

She actually took my hand and pried it out from under ers over it "Be with him, child Wait for your phone call Answer only the bedside phone Only pack will call that number You can&039;t possibly answer my other phone because you are in another state Do not answer the door, either"

"You sound like you&039;re going somewhere," I said

"You must learn to be comfortable around your people, Anita Thatover your shoulder"

She pulled me towards the bed by the arm She tried to make me sit on the bed, but I just didn&039;t bend with it Short of pushing

She tsked atIt is your choice, child, but at least stand here" She left

I was left standing in the middle of the roo to be left alone on the first day of school The brush was still in my hand The brush looked as antique as the rest of the room It ooden but painted white with a shine of varnish The varnish had a webbing of cracks but held I ran the pale bristles over the back of my other hand They were as soft as they looked, silken like a baby&039;s brush I had no idea what the bristles were lanced back at Nathaniel He atching me out of those eyes of his His face was neutral as if it didn&039;t ht, waiting for the rejection, waiting forfor a doctor to co there with that raw look in his eyes, he looked it Hell, he looked younger The body was great When you&039;re a stripper, you&039;ve got to take care of yourself But the facethe face was young and in the saaze old Nathaniel still had the e of twenty No, not jaded, lost

I walked around to the far side of the bed I laid the hairbrush on the pillow on the empty side of the bed

Nathanielto look at me No, to watch me He watched me like every movement was important It was a level of scrutiny that made me want to squirm or blush or run It wasn&039;t exactly sexual, but it wasn&039;t exactly not sexual, either

No matter whatfor an infant Nathaniel was young, but he was definitely not a child At least not childlike in the way that would have made this comfortable

I slipped off the short-sleeved shirt There was no one to see the shoulder holster, and it would be cooler Of course, it would really be cooler if I took off all the guns and the spine sheath, but I wasn&039;t that hot I did lay the Firestar under the pillow It had a short enough barrel to sit or lie doith it, but there is no such thing as a truly co around Guns aren&039;t designed for cos that are worn, h heels

I crawled onto the bed, kneeling, still not within touching distance He was so easily hurt that I had to say it out loud "I&039;m not upset with you, Nathaniel I just don&039;t like playing student"

"You like Marianne, but you resent her," he said

That ht, and it was more perceptive than I&039;d ever expected fro that smart made me feel better If there was a brain in that body, then he wasn&039;t just a subeable, saveable It was the ht I&039;d had all day

I crawled to Nathaniel&039;s side, brush in hand I stared down at hi me The look in his eyes stopped me It was too intense

Maybe he sensed it, because he turned his head back so that I couldn&039;t see his face All I could see was all that long, auburn hair Even in the diht, it was an incredibly rich color The darkest auburn I&039;d ever seen that was still truly auburn and not brown

I sh his hair It was like heavy silk, warm to the touch Of course, that could have just been the roo like a cool hand overhair stirred in the fan&039;s caress, the sheet over his thighs blowing like a hand had moved them He shifted as the fan passed over his bare body Then stillness His hair, the sheet, everything utterly still while the fanin reverse; the pink sheets, Nathaniel&039;s hair,my own hair back from my face, then past us, and the heat wrapped around us like a suffocating hand

The breeze fro until the small fan spilled over them I knelt in the hot room with the only sound the whir of the fan and the small tick it made every time it came to the end of its cycle

I stroked the hairbrush through his hair, and the stroke ended long before I got to the end of the hair I&039;d had hair down to my butt once upon a time when I was about fourteen But Nathaniel&039;s hair was knee length If he&039;d been a woman, I&039;d have said his hair fell like a dress around him The hair lay in a soft, silken pile beside his body so it wouldn&039;t brush the wound I lifted the hair inalive The hair poured throughnoise

I had enough trouble taking care of shoulder-length hair I couldn&039;t i itto have to divide the hair to either side and actually get up and move from side to side, or sweep the hair back behind his head so it spilled across the bed I voted for that

I pulled his hair behind his back and spilled it behind his head Heinto the pillow, but other than that ?" I asked

"I&039;m fine," he said His voice was soft, neutral, almost empty

"Talk to me, Nathaniel," I said

"You don&039;t like it when I talk to you"

I leaned over hi the hair back so I had a clear view of his face "That&039;s not true"

He turned his face enough to look up at me "Isn&039;t it?"

I leaned back fro I mind, Nathaniel It&039;s your choice of topics"

"Tell me what you want me to say, and I&039;ll say it"

"I can tell you what not to say," I said

"What?" he asked

"Don&039;t talk about pornographic ht about it for a second or two "That hits the usual things you say to piss hed "I don&039;t knohat else to talk about"

I started co, then I actually had to pick the hair up to finish the stroke The fan hit me with an armful of hair, and the hair spilled around my face in a vanilla-scented cloud that tickled , Nathaniel Talk about yourself"

"I don&039;t like to talk about myself"

"Why not?" I asked

He raised up enough to look at me "You talk about yourself"