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Stephen&039;s hand held the screaainst his body, hard, as if afraid of what I&039;d do if I got loose I wasn&039;t so sureuntil I outran the thought of it, the feel of it, all out of me But like Richard, I couldn&039;t run fro and just sit in the circle of Stephen&039;s arht?" he asked softly

I nodded

His hand slid away from my mouth, slowly, as if he wasn&039;t sure I&039;d heard hiainst hi to the floor

He stroked my face, over and over, like you&039;d co None of them did

Nathaniel knelt beside us He didn&039;t just look healed, he looked healthy He was s, handsome in a boyish, unfinished sort of way If you cut the hair and changed the eyes, he looked like he should have been playing halfback on the high-school football tea princess

The fact that I&039;d alht a rush of heat that ainst Stephen&039;s shoulder I did not want to look into that youthful, handso him The fact that I could still remember his body in details that I&039;d personally never touched, didn&039;t help Raina was gone, but not forgotten

I felt etting closer I kneithout looking that they were crowding aroundclosed It was hard to breathe

I felt soh to see Kevin inches froe hands stroked down ht his hands to his face "You s up at e and wolfish "She smells like Raina" She rolled her face so that her lips brushed the knee of my jeans

I knew that if I allowed it, we could sleep in one big co was part of what kept the pack together, like theit didn&039;t have to be sexual That had been Raina&039;s choice They olves but they were also people and that made them primates Two animals really, not just one

Kevin laid his head inI couldn&039;t see his eyes, to tell if they&039;d gone wolf on arette"

It , I couldn&039;t stop I laughed until tears ran down my face The olves ran their hands up and downme with their scent

Stephen kissed my cheek, the way you&039;d kiss your sister "Are you all right?" It was hard to remember, but I think he&039;d asked that before

I nodded "Yes" My voice sounded tinny and distant I realized I was on the edge of shock Not good

Stephen shooed the wolves away froy we&039;d raised had been soy I didn&039;t knoasn&039;t even sure I wanted to know

"Richard said that Raina wasn&039;t truly gone as long as the pack lived Is this what he h I&039;ve never heard of a non-packable to do what you just did The spirits of the dead should only be able to enter lukoi"

"Spirits of the dead," I said "You mean you don&039;t have a fancy name for them?"

"They are hing again "Memory, Odin&039;s raven"

He nodded "Yes"

"What exactly was it, isit? It wasn&039;t a ghost I knohat a ghost feels like"

"You&039;ve felt one of theive you"

"It&039;s energy," Teddy said "Energy is neither created nor destroyed It exists We have the energy of everyone that has ever been pack"

"You don&039;t mean all lukoi, do you?"

"No," he said, "but from the first member of our pack to noe have them all"

"Not all," Lorraine said

He nodded "Sometimes one of us will be lost to accident and the body cannot be recovered and shared Then all they were, all their knowledge, their power, is lost to us"

Kevin had gone back to the chair, still sitting on the floor, leaning his shoulders against the chair seat "Sometimes," he said, "we decide not to feed It&039;s sort of like excommunication The pack rejects you in death as in life"

"Why didn&039;t you reject Raina? She was a twisted sadistic bitch"

"It was Richard&039;s choice," Teddy said "By rejecting her body that last tiered some of the other pack members who aren&039;t wholeheartedly on his side yet He was right, but noe have her inside us"

"She&039;s powerful," Lorraine said, and she shivered "Powerful enough to possess a lesser wolf"

"Old wives&039; tales," Kevin said "She&039;s dead Her power survives but only when called"

"I didn&039;t call her," I said

"We ht have," Stephen said softly He lay back on the floor, hands covering his eyes as if it was too horrible to look at

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we&039;ve never seen anyone but Raina do what you just did I was thinking about her, re"

"So was I," Kevin said

"Yes," Teddy said He had moved back to the far wall, as if he didn&039;t trust himself nearso that their bodies touched lightly A co about her Glad she was not here Happy it was Anita" She hugged her aring her close, resting his chin in her hair

"I wasn&039;t thinking about Raina," Nathaniel said He crawled towards me

"Don&039;t touch me," I said

He rolled onto his back, for all the world like a big pussy cat wanting its belly rubbed He stretched, straining frohed and rolled onto his sto, rich brown hair like a curtain across his face His lilac eyes stared out atHe lay down in a pool of hair and energy His gaze stayed onplayful Not exactly seductive, but playful It was different and aled to be childlike, catlike, and still be an adult You didn&039;t knohether to pat him on the head, rub his belly, or kiss hi for et todown, I let go of the bed I swayed just a touch, but not too bad I could walk Great, because I wanted out of here

"What do you want us to do?" Stephen asked

"Go to my house Jean-Claude&039;s there, and Richard was there"

"What about hih to look at us all He said nothing, asked for nothing, but I could taste his pulse in ain I hoped this ehanother one

"Take him with you," I said "The leopards are mine as you are mine"

"He is to be protected and treated as pack?" Kevin asked

I rubbed iven him my protection Any of the leopards that want my protection can have it"

"As our lupa that binds us to protect theive our life for the a headache, I had one

Nathaniel rolled to his feet in a raceful to be real and almost too quick to see He sat on the foot of Stephen&039;s bed, watching er eyes He said, "My body is yours My life, if you want it, is yours to take" He said it al

I stared at him "I don&039;t want anyone&039;s life, Nathaniel, but if the pack is willing to risk their lives to protect you, I expect you to do the sa you want," he said "All you have to do is tell me"

He didn&039;t say, "ask me" He said, "tell me" I&039;d never heard it phrased quite like that It iht to say no I asked, "Does everyone here know they have the right to argue a point with h, right?"

"We don&039;t," Stephen said His face was guarded, careful

"How about you?" I asked, turning to Nathaniel

He rose to his knees, leaning his upper body out towardsHe didn&039;t try to touch et closer "How about me, what?" he asked

"You do understand that you have the right to refuse h?"

"Just tell me what you want me to do, Anita, and I&039;ll do it"

"Just like that, no questions, you&039;ll just do it?"

He nodded "Anything"

"Is this a custo the leopards, the pard?" I asked

"No," Stephen said, "it&039;s just Nathaniel&039;s way"

I shookmy hands in the air as if I&039;d just erase it all "I don&039;t have time for this He&039;s healed Take him with you"

"Do you want me to wait in your room?" Nathaniel asked

"If you need to rest, help yourself to a bed I won&039;t be there"

He s that what I was saying wasn&039;t what he was hearing I wanted out of the roo them all to a safe house, and he&039;d buy it because he wanted off this detail He wanted away from them more than I did

The doctor was ah they started talking about wanting to run o, people to meet They all piled into Kevin&039;s and Teddy&039;s cars, and I went for my Jeep Happy to be rid of them for a while Happy even if it meant another crime scene Happy even if I still didn&039;t kno to tell if Malcolm was alive down there in the dark Nathaniel watched aze on me until the car turned a corner He&039;d been lost, and now he thought he&039;d been found But if he expected me to be more than friends, he was still lost