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At so," I said

"Maybe she went to visit her grandfather," Ky said

I nodded

"She’ll come home eventually," Ky said "So I don’t knohy it ht then I kneere feeling the sa I knee loved Cassia, if not exactly the same way, then the same amount And the amount was: completely One hundred percent

The Society said that numbers like that don’t exist but neither Ky nor I cared I respected that about hiet upset about anything even though life couldn’t have been easy for hih Most people there saw him as a replace I’ve alondered about: What really happened to Matthew Markham? The Society told us that he died, but I don’t believe it

On the night Patrick Markha up and down the street in his sleepclothes, it wasback home before anyone called the Officials

"He was out of his mind," my father whispered to my mother on our front steps after he took Patrick hos that couldn’t possibly be true"

"What did he say?" my mother asked

My father didn’t speak for a while Right when I thought he wasn’t going to tell her, he said, "Patrick kept asking me, Why did I do it?"

My mother drew in her breath I did too They both turned around and saw h the screen "Go back to bed, Xander,"to worry about Patrick’s home now"

My father never told the Officials what Patrick said And the neighborhood knew that Patrick wandered the street that night because he was grieving his son’s death--no need to give any of us a red tablet to explain that away Besides, his distress reminded us all of the need to keep Anomalies away from everyone else

But I reht when they ca else in Patrick’s eyes besides grief," my father said

"What?" my mother asked

"Guilt," my father said

"Because it was at his workplace that everything happened?" my mother asked "He shouldn’t blame himself He couldn’t have known"

"No," uilt"

They went into their roo more

I don’t think Patrick killed his son But so happened there that I haven’t been able to puzzle out

When my shift finally ends, I head for the s has one, and it’s the only place where we have access to the outdoors I’m lucky: The only other people here are a man and woman deep in conversation I walk to the other side of the courtyard to give them privacy and turn my back so they can’t see me open the paper

At first, all I do is stare at Cassia’s writing

It’s beautiful I wish I knerite I wish she’d taught h e But I kno to get over the feeling: reood I’ve been bitter before about losing her and it never gets me anywhere More importantly, that’s not the kind of person I’ve spentto become

It takes me only moments to decipher the code--a basic substitution cipher like we learned back ere kids and the Society tested us to see who could sort the best I wonder if anyone else figured it out before the ot to me Did Ky read it?

Xander, Cassia wrote, I wanted to tell you that I’s, too First of all, don’t ever take one of the blue tablets I know the Rising has taken the tablets away, but if you coet rid of theain That can’t be right Can it? The blue tablets are supposed to save us The Rising would have told me if that weren’t true Wouldn’t they? Do they know? Her next sentence tells e within the Rising that the blue tablets are poisonous, but I didn’t want to leave it to chance that you would find out on your own I tried to tell you on the port and I thought you understood, but lately I’ve been worried that you didn’t The Society told us the tablets would save us, but they lied The blue o still If someone doesn’t save you, you die I saw it happen in the canyons

She saw it happen So she does know

There’s so about the blue She tried to telllet me know? The tablets could have killed her And it would have been my fault How could I make that kind oflouder now I turnHer next sentence offers so in the Rising

I’

I tried to tell you that, too

I should have written to you earlier, but you were an Official I didn’t want to risk getting you in trouble And you’ve never seen e was from me, even if the Archivists said that it was? And then I realized a way that I could get aHe can tell you that this is really fro I understood what you were trying to tell me on the port I should have realized--you’ve always been the first of us to do the right thing

There is so else that I wanted to tell you in person, that I didn’t want to put down in a letter I wanted to speak to you face to face But now I feel that I should write to you after all, in case it is still some time before we meet