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"It is said to be perilous," Thea cooed, "when one has known the shared in life; ether may amaze the mind Yet I who loved her will risk that confusion, and knowing from your look when you spoke of her that you would desire it as well, I said nothing to Vodalus"
He had reached up to touch the figurine's arh the circle; with it entered a sweet and un banquets, with their fur of spiced coconut and their eyes of preserved fruits, and knew that what I saas just such a re-creation of a huone mad at that moment if it had not been for the alzabo It stood between h which everything could be seen but nothing apprehended I had another ally as well: it was the knowledge growing in me, the certainty that if I were to consent now and s some part of Thecla's substance, the traces of her mind that must otherwise soon fade in decay would enteras I
Consent cahtening Instead I opened every part ofelcoer no other food could satisfy, and when I looked around the circle I saw that hunger on every face
The liveried servant, who I think one into exile with him, joined the six who had borne Thecla into the circle and helped lower the litter to the ground For the space of a few breaths their backs blockedreht have been a white tablecloth
I ate and waited, begging forgiveness She deserved the nificent sepulcher, priceless marble of exquisite harmony In its place she was to be entombed in my torturer's workroouised under garlands of flowers The night air was cool, but I eating I waited for her to co at the ground because I was afraid I would see her in the faces of the others before I felt her presence in myself
Just when I despaired - she was there, fillingbeside the Acis ere a child I knew the ancient villa h the dusty s of the belvedere, and the secret space in the odd angle between two rooht I knew the life of the Autarch's court, where poison waited in a diamond cup I learned what it was for one who had never seen a cell or felt a whip to be a prisoner of the torturers, what dying meant, and death
I learned that I had been uessed, and at last fell into a sleep in which my dreams were all of her Not memories merely - memories I had possessed in plenty before I held her poor, cold hands in s of an apprentice, nor the fuligin of a journeyman We were one, naked and happy and clean, and we knew that she was no ainst neither of those things, but oven hair read fro of other matters
CHAPTER 12
THE NOTULES
I ca At one instant alked ether in what surely must have been the paradise the New Sun is said to open to all who, in their final h the wise teach that it is closed to those who are their own executioners, yet I cannot but think that he who forgives so ive that as well At the next, I are of cold and unwelco of birds
I sat up My cloak was soaked with dew, and dew lay like sweat upon un to stir Ten paces off two great destriers - one the color of white wine, one of unspotted black - champed their bits and stamped with in than of Thecla, whoer hope to see in this existence Terh, well-oiled sheath I picked her up and made ht to refresh myself When I returned, Jonas ake I directed hione I made my farewell to dead Thecla Yet some part of her is with me still; at tih lass, and Thecla stands before that glass and is reflected in it Too, ever since that night, when I think of her without thinking also of a particular tiination stands before a own of frost-white that scarcely covers her breasts but falls in ever-changing cascades below her waist I see her poised for a moment there; both hands reach up to touch our face
Then she is whirled away in a roo and floor are all of e in those mirrors that I see, but after a step or two she vanishes into the dark and I see her no more
By the tirief and was able toour mounts "The black for you," he said, "and the cream for me, obviously Both of theh, as the sailor told the surgeon who took off his legs Where are we going?"
"To the House Absolute" I saw the incredulity in his face "Did you overhear ht the nao there"
I aot one foot into the black's stirrup and swung hts before had worn a lofty war saddle, fiendishly uncomfortable but very difficult to fall out of; this black carried a nearly flat affair of padded velvet that was both luxurious and treacherous I had no sooner got erness
It was the worst possible time, perhaps; but it was also the only time I asked, "How ht? Nothing" Jonas dodged the black, loosed the crea you, but after they had sed the drug, no one atchingto eat without actually doing it"
I looked at him in astonishment
"I've practiced several times with you - at breakfast yesterday, for example I don't have ed the cream down a forest path, he called over his shoulder, "As it happens, I know the route fairly well, at least for ?"
"Dorcas and Jolenta will be there," I said "And I have to do an errand for our liege, Vodalus" Because ere alht it better not to say that I had no intention of perfor it
Here, lest this account of my career run forever, I must pass very quickly over the events of several days As we rode, I told Jonas all that Vodalus had told es and towns as we found them, and where we halted I practiced such of my craft as was in demand - not because the money I earned was strictly necessary to us (for we had the purses the Chatelaine Thea had given us, much of my fee froold) but in order to allay suspicion
Our fourthnorthward Gyoll sunned itself to our right like a sluggish dragon guarding the forbidden road that returned to grass upon its bank The day before, we had seen uhlans on patrol,lances like those that had killed the travelers at the Piteous Gate