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Beth slept fitfully all night She couldn&039;t escape the thoughts tuh her mind, but every once in a while exhaustion overtook her, and she&039;d slip into a light sleep Then she&039;d dream - dreams filled with John And the shock of what she&039;d discovered would jerk her awake Before long, the whole process would start all over again

In thewith the beginnings of a headache Despite how she felt, she had no choice but to attend Mass Ja in a special Christram Not to shoould disappoint them Besides, her entire fao now than to offer excuses later

Before she left, Beth so aspirin with a glass of orange juice Her e brunch afterward

By the ti lot was almost full She hoped herin wait just inside the church vestibule, which uess what it was

"You&039;re late and it&039;s ti her arht make a run for it at the last minute "Your father saved us two places, but I don&039;t think he&039;ll be able to hold on to theot a slow start"

"I want to hear every detail about Leavenworth" Joyce narrowed her eyes "Every detail," she repeated ominously

"Yes, wellI&039;ll explain later" She wouldn&039;t tell her fah She felt overwhelement with Peter - John - on her behalf was a further complication, one she didn&039;t need But the immediate problem was how an, Beth&039;s problems seemed to lift from her shoulders The beauty of the church, with its decorations of poinsettia and evergreen boughs, the joyfulyourself and not allowing past mistakes to hold you back - seehtful and when she joined in the carol-singing, her heart felt free

That , her entire life had felt like a disaster By the end of Mass, Beth had begun to feel a new sense of hope Maybe this bizarre coincidence involving John was meant to be Maybemaybe they&039;d have a second chance, despite all the bitterness and grief

The fa hurdle today Everyone wanted to know about Peter

"Don&039;t keep us in suspense," her s to Beth

"Mothy explanations and at first she&039;d thought that ht actually happen, since everyone&039;s attention was focused on her niece and nepheho&039;d played ram But she should&039;ve known it wouldn&039;t be that easy At Joyce&039;s co and stared at Beth

"We&039;re just curious," her sister added "If you tell us to ela," their est Marybeth keep this to herself!"

Groaning, Beth could see that it was useless to resist Her mother felt entitled to an answer - and it had better be the right answer, too Joyce had lit a candle, after all

"Yesterday I - " Beth thought about telling the truth The direct approach had its benefits But the thought of explaining that Peter wasn&039;t Peter but John Nicodemus, her ex-husband, was more than she could handle As herher sentence unfinished

"Marybeth, please," her mother implored

"We didn&039;t meet," she blurted out

"You didn&039;t meet?" The question echoed around the table

"Don&039;t tell me you chickened out," her mother cried The horrified look was back, as if Beth had, once again, been a disappointment to the family

She couldn&039;t tell them the real reason she hadn&039;t azed blankly at the wall

After a moment, her parents&039; eyes met Her father cleared his throat "Actually, your ht happen We feel it&039;s ti"

"What?" Beth couldn&039;t believe what she was hearing

"Your father and I are willing to pay for it," herBeth could see they weren&039;t going to budge fro," she murmured "In theory, that is I just don&039;t think I need it"

"You need it," her rimly

"Can we talk about this after Christ to delay any further discussion until she&039;d had time to analyze her own reactions to the Peter/John confusion

"Of course we can," her sister assured her sympathetically

So her sister was in on this, as well That loving, coiveaway

Beth left her parents&039; home shortly after the brunch dishes had been washed and put away As she drove back to her own place, she deliberated on what to say to Peter Despite the fact that he was really John, she&039;d come to think of him as Peter - a new man A different man

Once hoed on to the Internet The e

I wondered when you&039;d get here

His co for her to come online

I&039;m here now, she typed back I want to talk to you aboutsecond thoughts?

She mulled over her answer Yes You see, I&039;ve already made one disastrous mistake in er to un-shy

Frankly, yes

This ht surprise you, Peter wrote back, but I am, too

Really? Then because she couldn&039;t resist, she asked, Was your uess not We were both young and immature

Beth couldn&039;t leave it at that This was a perfect opportunity to discover exactly what Peter thought of her Do you have any regrets?

He didn&039;t reply right away Some

Me, too, she told him More than I realized

Has your ex remarried? Peter typed

This was a tricky question I heard he did

So you don&039;t keep tabs on him?

No What about your ex-wife?

I have no idea We went our separate ways I don&039;t harbor any ill will toward her I couldn&039;t tell you if she&039;s re heartbeat, Beth&039;s finger was poised above the key that would submit her question Her mind raced; she was afraid this was one she shouldn&039;t be asking She sent it anyway

His answer came in the form of another question Did you love your ex?

Her reply was siuess I still do in some ways And you?

Yes A short pause and then he added, Is that the real problem? Are you so in love with your ex that you aren&039;t ready to fall in love a second time?

Peter deserved the truth - but not yet He admitted he&039;d loved her once, maybe still did, but preferred not to discuss her

What Peter couldn&039;t knoas that she had information he didn&039;t

Listen, let&039;s put the es to rest His next words flashed across the screen My wife and I behaved badly We were both at fault and I&039;ve accepted that our problems were coh painful, the divorce was for the best