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"Mister? You okay?"

I blinked at the wo my wallet out of my pocket and found a twenty "I want to ht there on the corner You take this and wait for ht?"

Maybe she'd drive off with the twenty I didn't really care I walked to the corner, dropped a di to the dial tone

It was too late to call What time was it? After two, o to my room All I had to do was stay put for an hour and I'd be in the clear At three the bars would close

So? There was a deli that would sell ally or not There was an after-hours on Fifty-first, est between Eleventh and Twelfth Unless it had closed by now; I hadn't been there in a long time

There was a bottle of Wild Turkey in Kim Dakkinen's front closet And I had her key in ht there, accessible to me at any hour, and if I went there I'd never stop after one or two drinks I'd finish the bottle, and when I did there were a lot of other bottles to keep it company

II heard that in her voice when she answered the phone

I said, "It's Matt I'ht What time is it? God, it's after two"

"I'ht Are you okay, Matthew?

"No"

"Have you been drinking?"

"No"

"Then you're okay"

"I' apart," I said "I called you because it was the only way I could think of to keep fro"

"Can I coht Forget it One quick drink at Farrell's before they closed, then back to the hotel Never should have called her in the first place

"Matthew, I don't know if it's a good idea Just take it an hour at a time, a minute at a time if you have to, and call me as much as you want I don't ot killed half an hour ago I beat a kid up and broke his legs for hi like I never shook before in ht is a drink and I'ht being with soh it but it probably wouldn't anyway, and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called I'm not your responsibility I'm sorry"

"Wait!"

"I'm here"

"There's a clubhouse on St Marks Place where they haveon the weekends It's in the book, I can look it up for you"

"Sure"

"You won't go, will you?"

"I can't talk up at ht"

"Where are you?"

"Fifty-eighth and Ninth"

"How long will it take you to get here?"

I glanced over at Arot a cab waiting," I said

"You reet here?"

"I remember"

The cab droppedon Lispenard The ave her another twenty to go with it It was too enerous

I rang Jan's bell, two long and three short, and went out in front so that she could toss the key down to me I rode the industrial elevator to the fifth floor and stepped out into her loft

"That was quick," she said "You really did have a cab waiting"

She'd had ti old Lee jeans and a flannel shirt with a red-and-black checkerboard pattern She's an attractive woht, well fleshed, built more for comfort than for speed A heart-shaped face, her hair dark brown salted with gray and hanging to her shoulders Large well-spaced gray eyes No makeup

She said, "Iin it, do you?"

"Just bourbon"

"We're fresh out Go sit down, I'll get the coffee"

When she ca a hair-snake with irl here," I said "She had blonde braids but she wrapped them around her head in a way that made me think of your Medusa"

"Who?"

"A woot killed I don't knohere to start"

"Anywhere," she said

I talked for a long ti to that night's events and back and forth again She got up now and then to get us more coffee, and when she came back I'd start in where I left off Or I'd start somewhere else It didn't seem to matter

I said, "I didn't knohat the hell to do with him After I'd knocked him out, after I'd searched hiht of letting hi to shoot him but I couldn't do it I don't knohy If I'd just sht have killed hilad of it But I couldn't shoot hi there unconscious"

"Of course not"

"But I couldn't leave hiet another gun and do it again So I broke his legs Eventually the bones'll knit and he'll be able to resume his career, but in the ed "It doesn'telse to do"

"The i is you didn't drink"

"Is that the i?"

"I think so"

"I alhborhood, or if I hadn't reached you God knoanted to drink I still want to drink"

"But you're not going to"

"No"

"Do you have a sponsor, Matthew?"

"No"