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"Giant rocks can't stay up in the sky, miss!" said Shawn "I expect that's why this one fell down, lad," said Nanny briskly "If you want to do souard and make sure nobody comes near it"
"What shall I do if it explodes, Mum?"
"Come and tell e, shut the door behind them, and said: "I'm a dreadful ol' liar, Tiff, and it takes one to know one What's down there?"
"Well, I don't think it's going to explode," said Tiffany "And if it did, I think the worse that'd happen is that we'd be covered in coleslaw I think it's the Cornucopia" There was the sound of voices outside and the door was flung open "Blessings be upon this house," said Granny Weatherwax, sta snow off her boots "Your boy said I shouldn't co I caot cornucopias," said Nanny Ogg, "whatever they are" It was later that evening They'd waited until it was dark before pulling the Cornucopia out of the hole It was a lot lighter than Tiffany had expected; in fact it had an air about it of so very, very heavy which, for reasons of its own, had becoht just for a while Noas on the kitchen table, wiped clean of uely alive It arers "According to Chaffinch," she said, with the Mythology open on her lap, "the god Blind Io created the Cornucopia fro to feed his two children by the Goddess Bisonomy, as later turned into a shower of oysters by Epidity, God of Things Shaped like Potatoes, after insulting Resonata, Goddess of Weasels, by throwing a e of office of the suoddess"
"I always said there used to be far tooin the old days," said Granny Weatherwax The witches stared at the thing It did look a bit like a goat horn, butShe stuck her head inside it and shouted "Hello!" Helloes caone reat big seashell to me," was the opinion of Granny Weatherwax The kitten You padded around the giant thing, sniffing daintily at it (Greebo was hiding behind the saucepans on the top shelf Tiffany checked) "I don't think anyone knows," she said "But the other name for it is The Horn of Plenty"
"A horn? Can you play a tune on it?" asked Nanny "I don't think so," said Tiffany "It contains…er…things"
"What sort of things?" said Granny Weatherwax "Well, technically…everything," said Tiffany "Everything that grows" She showed theetables, and grain were spilling froh," said Nanny "Not many carrots, but I suppose they're up in the pointy end They'd fit better there"
"Typical artist," said Granny "He just painted the showy stuff in the front Too proud to paint an honest potato!" She poked at the page with an accusing finger "And what about these cherubs? We're not going to get theh the air"
"They turn up a lot in old paintings," said Nanny Ogg "They put thehty pictures of ladies with noto," said Nanny Ogg, walking around the table "I don't kno!" said Tiffany "There aren't any instructions!" And then, too late, Granny shouted: "You! Come out of there!" But with a flick of her tail the white kitten trotted inside They banged on the horn They held it upside down and shook it They tried shouting down it They put a saucer of milk in front of it and waited The kitten didn't return Then Nanny Ogg prodded gently inside the Cornucopia with a reat surprise went farther inside the Cornucopia than there was Cornucopia on the outside "She'll coly "Not if she finds so into the dark "I shouldn't think she'll find cat food," said Tiffany, exah"
"You! Come out of there this minute!" Granny commanded in a voice fit to shake ot stuck?" said Nanny "I ht? Cats ain't very big at goin' backward" Tiffany saw the look on Granny's face and sighed "Feegles?" she said to the rooeneral "I know there are soles appeared from behind every ornaet a little kitten out of here?" she asked "Just that? Aye, nae proble difficult!" The Nac Mac Feegles disappeared into the Horn at a trot Their voices died away The witches waited They waited soles!" shouted Tiffany into the hole She thought she heard a very distant, very faint "Crivens!"
"If it can produce grain, they ht have found beer in there," said Tiffany "And that means they'll only run out when the beer runs out too!"
"Cats can't feed on beer!" snapped Granny Weatherwax "Well, I'," said Nanny "Look, there's a little hole in the pointy end, too I' to blow into it!" She tried to, at least Her cheeks went big and red and her eyes bulged, and it was pretty clear that if the horn didn't blow, then she would--at which point, the horn gave up There was a distant and unot louder and louder "I can't see anything yet," said Granny, looking into the wide alloped out of the Cornucopia with her tail straight out and her ears flattened She skidded across the table, leaped onto Granny Weatherwax's dress, scrambled onto her shoulder, and turned and spat defiance With a cry of "Crivvvvvvvvens!" Feegles poured out of the horn "Behind the sofa, everyone!" yelled Nanny "Run!" Now the rurew and then-- --stopped In the silence, three pointy hats rose from behind the sofa S Then there was a noise very si small and wizened rolled out of the mouth of the Horn and dropped onto the floor It was a very dried-up pineapple Granny Weatherwax brushed some dust off her dress "You'd better learn to use this," she said to Tiffany "How?"
"Don't you have any idea?"
"No!"
"Well, it's turned up for you, erly picked up the Cornucopia, and again there was that definite feeling of soht "Maybe it needs so "Or there's somewhere special that you press…" As Tiffany turned it in the light, soleamed for a moment "Hold on, these look like words," she said She read: All that you desire, I give upon a narow, I shrink, Dr Bustle translated "I think I ht have an idea," she said, and inhappened Then Dr Bustle lazily translated, and Tiffany said: With a fwlap a ham sandwich sailed out of the ht by Nanny, who bit into it "Not bad at all!" she announced "Try a few et when you disturb a cave full of bats "Stop!" she yelled, but nothing stopped Then Dr Bustle whispered and she shouted: There were a…lot of sandwiches The pile reached the ceiling, in fact Only the tip of Nanny Ogg's hat was visible, but there were some muffled noises farther down the heap An arh the wall of bread and sliced pig, chewing thoughtfully "No mustard, I notice Hood supper tonight," she said "And I can see I' to have to ain in here, though, all right?"
"I don't like it at all," snapped Granny Weatherwax "Where does all that stuff coic food never fed anyone properly!"
"It's not"Like manners from heaven, that sort of stuff I expect it'smetaphor for the boundless fecundity of the natural world, whispered Dr Bustle in Tiffany's head "You don't get n parts, a long ti to Tiffany "If I was you, dear, I'd take it out into the woods toh, if you don't ht now"
"Gytha Ogg, you can't use the Cornucopia of the Gods as a…a larder!" said Granny "The feet business was bad enough!"
"But it is one," said Nanny Ogg innocently "It's the larder It's, like, everything waiting to grow next spring" Tiffany put it down very carefully There was so…alive about the Cornucopia She wasn't at all sure that it was just so As it touched the tabletop, it began to shrink until it was the size of a small vase "'Scuse me?" said Rob Anybody "But does it do beer?"
"Beer?" said Tiffany, without thinking There was a trickling noise All eyes turned to look at the vase Brown liquid was foa over the lip Then all the eyes turned to Granny Weatherho shrugged "Don't look atto drink it anyway!" It is alive, Tiffany thought, as Nanny Ogg hurried off to find soe… Aroundon her chest She pushed it off and reached down for her slippers, and found only chickens When she got the candle alight, she saw half a dozen chickens on the end of the bed The floor was covered in chickens So were the stairs So was every room down below In the kitchen, chickens had overflowed into the sink They weren'tmuch noise, just the occasional werk a chicken s, which ispatiently tothis because the Cornucopia, non just a bit bigger than a full-grown chicken, was gently firing out a chicken every eight seconds Werk As Tiffany watched, another one landed on the mountain of ham sandwiches Werk Marooned on top of the Cornucopia was You, looking very puzzled Werk And in thearmchair, surrounded by fascinated hens Werk Apart fro, the chorus of werks, and the rustle of shuffling chickens, it was all very peaceful in the candlelight Werk Tiffany glared at the kitten She rubbed up against things when she wanted to be fed, didn't she? Werk And uages, couldn't it? Werk Now she whispered: "No more chickens," and after a few seconds the flow of chickens ceased Werk But she couldn't really leave it like that She shook Granny by the shoulder and, as the old woood news is a lot of the haone…er…" Werk