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know your type! Learn one spell and you think you're Mistress Weatherwax! I' for this kind of behaviour! Brian'' There was a rustling from the bead curtains that led to the back of the shop and a wizard appeared You could tell he was a wizard Wizards never wanted you to have to guess He had long flowing robes, with stars and ical symbols on them; there were even so if indeed he'd been the kind of young ed and wispy and not very clean And the general effect was also spoiled by the fact that he was s of tea in his hand and a face that looked a bit like so was chipped and on it were the jolly words 'You Don't Have to Be Magic to Work Here But It Helps!!!!!'

'Yeah?' he said, adding reproachfully, 'I was onlady is being aard,' said Zakzak 'Throwingsmart at me The usual stuff' Brian looked at Tiffany She smiled 'Brian's been to Unseen University,' said Zakzak with a 'so there' sic could fill a book! These ladies need showing the way out, Brian'

'Now then, ladies,' said Brian nervously, putting down his ht? We don't want trouble, do we? Go on, there's good kids'

'Why do you need a wizard to protect you, with all these inthearm?' said Tiffany sweetly Zakzak turned to Brian 'What're you standing there for?' he deain! I pay you, don't I? Put a 'fluence on 'e!'

'Well, erthat one could be a bit of an aard custo towards Tiffany 'If you studied wizardry, Brian, then you know about conservation of mass, don't you?' she said 'I mean, you knohat really happens when you try to turn so?'

'Well, er' the wizard began 'Ha! That's just a figure of speech!' snapped Zakzak I'd like to see you turn soranted,' said Tiffany, and waved the wand Brian started to say, 'Look, when I said I'd been to Unseen University I , 'Erk' Take the eye away froe until the landscape spreads out in a patchwork of field, woods and ic spreads out like the ripples made when a stone is dropped in water Within a few miles of the place it makes shambles spin and breaks the threads of curse-nets As the ripples widen the h it never dies, and

still can be felt by things far more sensitive than any shambleLet the eye eThere is nothing on the walls but ash, nothing on the floor but cold stone The huge fireplace doesn't even have a cooking stove A black tea kettle hangs on a black hook over what can hardly be called a fire at all; it's just a few little sticks huddling together This is the house of a life peeled to the core Upstairs, an old wo on a narrow bed But you wouldn't think she was dead, because there is a big card on a string around her neck which reads: I Ain't Deadand you have to believe it when it's written down like that Her eyes are shut, her hands are crossed on her chest, her mouth is open And bees crawl into her mouth, and over her ears, and all over her pillow They fill the roo in and out of the open here soary water on the sill None of the saucerscrockery But the bees work on, coic passes through, the buzz rises to a roar Bees pour in though theurgently, as though driven by a gale They land on the still old wo mass of tiny brown bodies And then, as one insect, they rise in a storm and pour away into the outside air, which is full of whirling seeds from the sycaht and said: 'Bzzzt!' Then she stuck a finger into herbee She blew on it and shooed it out of theFor a moment her eyes seemed to have many facets, just like a bee 'So,' she said 'She's learned how to Borrow, has she? Or she's been Borrowed!' Annagramma fainted Zakzak stared, too afraid to faint 'You see,' said Tiffany, while sohs only a few ounces but Brian weighs, oh, about a hundred and twenty pounds, yes? So, to turn so to do with all the bits you can't fit into a frog, right?' She bent down and lifted up the pointy wizard's hat on the floor 'Happy, Brian?' she said A s on a heap of clothes, looked up and said, 'Erk!' Zakzak didn't look at the frog He was looking at the thing that went gloop, gloop It was like a large pink balloon full of water, quite pretty really, wobbling gently against the ceiling

'You've killed him!' he mumbled 'What? Oh, no That's just the stuff he doesn't need right now It's sort ofspare Brian'

'Erk,' said Brian Gloop went the rest of hian hurriedly 'Ten per cent would be-' Tiffany waved the wand Behind her, the whole display of crystals rose in the air and began to orbit one another in a glittering and above all fragile way 'That wand shouldn't do that!' he said 'Of course it can't It's rubbish But I can,' said Tiffany 'Ninety per cent discount, did I hear you say? Think quickly, I'heavy'

'You can keep it all!' Zakzak screamed 'For free! Just don't let him splash! Please!'

'No, no, I'd like you to stay in business,' said Tiffany 'A ninety per cent discount would be fine I'd like you to think of me asa friend 'Yes! Yes! I am your friend! I'm a very friendly person! Now please put him baaack! Please!' Zakzak dropped to his knees, which wasn't very far 'Please! He's not really a wizard! He just did evening classes there in fretwork! They hire out classroo He thinks I don't know! But he read a few of the ic books on the quiet and he pinched the robes and he can talk wizard lingo so's you'd hardly know the difference! Please! I'd never get a real wizard for the money I pay him! Don't hurt him, pleaseV Tiffany waved a hand There was a moment even more unpleasant than the one which had ended up with the spare Brian bu, and then the whole Brian stood there, blinking 'Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!' gasped Zakzak Brian blinked 'What just happened?' he said Zakzak, beside himself with horror and relief, patted him frantically 'You're all there?' he said 'You're not a balloon?'