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'But one of you - that is, one half of you - came all the way to Twoshirts for me,' said Tiffany 'Oh yes, I can split up like that,' said Miss Level 'I'ap of et rather cluood, I think' Before Tiffany could move both the Miss Levels stood up and crossed the kitchen Tiffany watched one person s that need to be done to make a cup of tea and Miss Level did thes fro kettle and cups and spoon in a sort of ballet 'When I was child they thought I ins,' she said over one of her shoulders 'And thenthey thought I was evil,' she said over another shoulder 'Are you?' said Tiffany Both of Miss Level turned round, looking shocked 'What kind of question is that to ask anyone?' she said 'Umthe obvious one?' said Tiffany 'I mean, if they said "Yes I am! Mwahahaha!", that would save a lot of trouble, wouldn't it?' Four eyes narrowed 'Mistress Weatheras right,' said Miss Level 'She said you were a witch to your boots' Inside, Tiffany bea about the obvious,' said Miss Level, 'is that it so often isn'tDid Mistress Weatherwax really take off her hat to you?'

'Yes'

'One day perhaps you'll kno much honour she did you,' said Miss Level 'Anywayno, I'm not evil But I nearly beca after I was born, my father was at sea and never cas happen at sea,' said Tiffany It was soht, and probably they did, or possibly he never wanted to come back in any case,' said Miss Level dryly 'And I was put in a charity home, bad food, horrible teachers, blah, blah, and I fell into the worst co the tricks you can get up to when you've got two bodies Of course, everyone thought I ins In the end I ran away to join the circus Me! Can you i Act?' said Tiffany Miss Level stood stock still, her mouth open 'It was on the posters over the stairs,' Tiffany added Now Miss Level relaxed 'Oh, yes Of course Veryquick of you, Tiffany Yes You do notice things, don't you'

'I knoouldn't pay ress,' said Tiffany 'It justthe dictionary all the way through does have son to keep people ress!" Of course, people thought it was a fe ot exactly what they paid for! Have you ever been to a circus?' Once, Tiffany ads that try too hard to be

funny often aren't There had been a ht- rope walker as never round, and a knife- throho threw a lot of knives at an elderly wo wooden disc and completely failed to hit her every time The only real amusement was afterwards, when a cart ran over the clown 'My circus was a lot bigger,' said Miss Level when Tiffany h as I recall our knife-throas also very bad at ai We had elephants and camels and a lion so fierce it bit a man's arm nearly off' Tiffany had to ad 'And what did you do?' she said 'Well, I just bandaged him up while I shoo'd the lion off him-'

'Yes, Miss Level, but Iyour own mind?' Miss Level bea else, too,' she said 'With different wigs on I was the Stupendous Bohunkus Sisters I juggled plates, you know, and wore costuh wire act Not walking the wire, of course, but generally s at the audience Everyone assumed I ins, and circus people don't ask too many personal questions in any case And then ith one thing and another, this and thatI came up here and became a witch' Both of Miss Level watched Tiffany carefully That was quite a long sentence, that last sentence,' said Tiffany 'Yes, it asn't it,' said Miss Level 'I can't tell you everything Do you still want to stay? The last three girls didn't Sohtlyodd'

'UrnI'll stay,' said Tiffany, slowly The thing that h' Miss Level looked surprised, and then said, 'Oh, do you et into my bedroom?' said Tiffany, horrified 'Oh, no That's just a naeist Have you heard of poltergeists?'

'Erinvisible spirits that throw things around?'

'Good,' said Miss Level 'Well, an ondageist is the opposite They're obsessive about tidiness He's quite handy around the house but he's absolutely dreadful if he's in the kitchen when I's away I think it makes him happy Sorry, I should have warned you, but he nore He's shy'

'And he's a man? I ot no body and he doesn't speak I just called him Oswald because I always picture him as a worried little led when the right Miss Level said this The effect was odd and, if you thought that way, also creepy 'Well, we are getting on well,' said the right Miss Level nervously 'Is there anything more you want to know, Tiffany?'

'Yes, please,' said Tiffany 'What do you want me to do? What do you do?'

And mostly, it turned out, what Miss Level did was chores Endless chores You could look in vain for ement They were, mostly, the kind of chores that are justchores There was a soats, technically led by Stinky Sam who had a shed of his own and was kept on a chain, but really led by Black Meg, the senior nanny, who patiently allowed Tiffany to milk her and then, carefully and deliberately, put a hoof in the oat is a worrying thing if you're used to sheep, because a goat is a sheep with brains But Tiffany had e kept the And she knew that with goats you had to use persykology[Tiffany knehat psychology was, but it hadn't been a pronunciation dictionary] If you got excited, and shouted, and hit the a sack full of coat hangers) then they had Won and sniggered at you in goat language, which is al anyway By day two, Tiffany learned that the thing to do was reach out and grab Black Meg's hind leg just as she lifted it up to kick the bucket, and lift it up further That ered at her and Tiffany had Won Next there were the bees Miss Level kept a dozen hives, for the wax asthat was loud with buzzing She loves before she opened a hive She wore some, too 'Of course,' she observed, 'if you are careful and sober and well centred in your life the bees won't sting Unfortunately, not all the bees have heard about this theory Goodwith us for a while Tiffany half expected the whole hive to pipe up, in so, Tiffany!' It didn't 'Why did you tell them that?' she asked 'Oh, you have to talk to your bees,' said Miss Level It's very bad luck not to I generally have a little chat with the Every beekeeper knows about "Telling the Bees"'

'And who do the bees tell?' asked Tiffany Both of Miss Level smiled at her 'Other bees, I suppose,' she said 'Soif you kne to listen to the bees, you'd know everything that was going on, yes?' Tiffany persisted 'You know, it's funny you should say that,' said Miss Level 'There have been a few rumoursBut you'd have to learn to think like a swarm of bees One mind with thousands of little bodies Much too hard to do, even for lance with herself 'Maybe not ie had a big herb garden, although it contained very little that you'd stuff a turkey with, and at this ti and drying, especially the ones with i on herbs There is sonatures It works like this: when the Creator of the Universe made helpful plants for the use of people, he (or in soive people hints A plant useful for toothache would look like teeth, one to cure earache would look like an ear, one good for nose probleoo and so on Many people believed this You had to use a certain aood at it (but not much in the case of Nose Dropwort) and in Tiffany's world the Creator had got a littleon them, if you knehere to look It was often hard to find and usually difficult to read, because plants can't spell Most people didn't even know about it and just used the traditionalout whether plants were poisonous or useful by testing them on some elderly aunt they didn't need, but Miss Level was pioneering new techniques that she hoped would mean life would be better for everyone (and, in the case of the aunts, often longer, too) This one is False Gentian,' she told Tiffany when they were in the long, cool workroo up a weed triumphantly 'Everyone thinks it's another toothache cure, but just look at the cut root by stored lass Tiffany tried it, and read: 'GoOD FoR Colds May cors drowsniss Do nOt oprate heavE , but not bad for a daisy,' said Miss Level 'You mean plants really tell you how to use them?' said Tiffany 'Well, not all of them, and you have to knohere to look,' said Miss Level 'Look at this, for exanifying glass by the light of a taper made from red cotton, thus' Tiffany squinted The letters were small and hard to read ' "May contain Nut"?' she ventured 'But it's a nutshell Of course it'll contain a nut Erwon't it?'

'Not necessarily,' said Miss Level 'It ht froe and interesting teht,' she added, catching Tiffany's expression 'There's no actual law against it As such The world is full of surprises' That night Tiffany had a lot more to put in her diary She kept it on top of her chest of draith a large stone on it Oswald seee about this, but he had started to polish the stone And pull back, and rise above the cottage, and fly the eye across the night-ti that is itself invisible, but which buzzes like a swarroundContinue, the roads and towns and trees rushing behind you with zip-zip noises, until you coh old tower, and beneath the tower the ancient ical university, and in the university the library, and in the library the bookshelves, andthe journey has hardly begun Bookshelves stream past The books are on chains Some snap at you as you pass And here is the section of the es or in vats of iced water or simply clamped between lead plates