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'The n, you know? Like the Hub people Bald as a coot I ree" Normally I wouldn't have any o and sang her songs and little poems and soothed her and back she came, out of thin air, and I was ready and it was one, two, done And then she was gone Except that she was still there, I think In the air'

'What did she look like?' said Susan Mrs Ogg gave her a Look 'You've got to re,' she said 'The kind of description Ianyone'd put on a poster, if you getAnd no wo, she had dark hair' Mrs Ogg refilled her brandy glass and this meant the pause went on for some time 'And she was old, too, if you're after the truth of it Not old like me I mean old' She stared at the fire 'Old like darkness and stars,' she said, to the flames 'The boy was left outside the Thieves' Guild,' said Susan, to break the silence 'I suppose they thought that with gifts like that he'd be all right'

'The boy? Hah Tellabout he?' Tick Lady LeJean was being strong She'd never realized how ed night and day It was always too hot, too cold, too empty, too full, too tired The key was discipline, she was sure Auditors were immortal If she couldn't tell her body what to do, she didn't deserve to have one Bodies were a major human weakness Senses, too The Auditors had hundreds of senses, since every possible phenomenon had to be witnessed and recorded She could find only five available now Five ought to be easy to deal with But they ired directly into the rest of the body! They didn't just submit infor roasted meats and her mouth had started to drool! The sense of s the brain! But that wasn't the worst of it! The brain itself did its own thinking! That was the hardest part The bag of soggy tissue behind the eyes worked away independently of its owner It took in inforainst memory, and presented options Soht for control of the mouth! Humans weren't individuals, they were, each one, a committee! Some of the other members of the committee were dark and red and entirely uncivilized They had joined the brain before civilization; soot aboard even before huht, in the darkness of the brain, to get the casting vote! After little more than a couple of weeks as a hu real trouble Food, for exanized that feeble life fory and body-building ly inefficient, however, and her ladyship had tried asse nutrients directly out of the air This worked, but the process felt What was the word? Oh, yes creepy Besides, part of the brain didn't believe it was getting fed and insisted that it was hungry Its incessant nagging interfered with her thought processes and so, despite everything, she'd had to face up to the whole, well, the whole orifices business The Auditors had known about these for a long tiht of them One didn't seem to work and the rest appeared to be ly there see that could be done by the ears Yesterday she'd tried a piece of dry toast It had been the single worst experience of her existence

It had been the single most intense experience of her existence It had been soe, it had been enjoyable It seemed that the human sense of taste was quite different from the sense as employed by an Auditor That was precise, measured, analytical But the hu hit in thefireworks in her head before she remembered to s did hualleries It was clear that some humans could present reality in a way that made it even more real, that spoke to the viewer, that seared the e that the genius of an artist had to poke alien substances into his face? Could it be that huot used to it? And that was only the startThe sooner the clock was finished, the better A species as crazy as this couldn't be allowed to survive She was visiting the clock them as much help as she dared, but they always see! She could even lie to herself! Because another voice in her head, which was part of the dark co parts and twisting parts and you go back every day because of the way he looks at you, don't you?' Parts of the internal committee that were so old they didn't have voices, only direct control of the body, tried to interfere at this point She tried in vain to put them out of her mind And now she had to face the other Auditors They would be punctual She pulled herself together Water had taken to running out of her eyes lately for no reason at all She did the best she could with her hair, androo the air In this space, there was not room for too many Auditors, but that did not really matter One could speak for all Lady LeJean found the corners of her mouth turned up automatically as nine of them appeared Nine was three threes, and the Auditors liked threes Tould keep an eye on the other one Each tould keep an eye on each other one They don't trust themselves, said one of the voices in her head Another voice cut in: It's e don't trust ourselves And she thought: Oh, yes We, not they I must reress? The corners of the ain 'There have been n theether slowly, and wondered why She hadn't told thee, so they didn't understand it One said, What is the nature of-? But another one cut in with, Why are you dwelling in this building? The voice was tinted with suspicion 'The body requires one to do things that cannot be done on the street,' said Lady LeJean, and, because she'd got to know so about Ankh-Morpork, she added, 'at least, on many streets Also, I believe the servant of the clockravity, since that is what it was designed for It is as well to give the appearance of humanity' One, and it was the sa of these? It had noticed the paints and the easel Lady LeJean wished fervently that she'd re an iments? 'Yes Very badly, I am afraid' One said, For what reason? 'I wished to see how humans do it' One said, That is siht, but it appears to be much more complex than that-' The one who had raised the question of the painting drifted towards one of the chairs and said, And what is this? 'It is a cat It arrived It does not appear to wish to depart' The cat, a feral ginger tohter ball Anything that could survive in Ankh-Morpork's alleys, with their abandoned swaents, was not about to open even one eye for a bunch of floating nightdresses The one as now getting on Lady LeJean's nerves said: And the reason for its presence? 'It appears to tolerate the co in return but food, water, shelter and comfort,' said Lady LeJean 'This interests me Our purpose is to learn, and thus I have, as you can see, begun' She hoped it sounded better to them than it did to her One said, When will the clock problems you spoke of be resolved? 'Oh, soon Very soon Yes'

The one that was beginning to terrify Lady LeJean said, We wonder: is it possible that you are slowing the work in so on her forehead Why was it doing that? 'No Why should I slow the work? There would be no logic to it!' One said, Hmm And an Auditor did not say 'H It went on: You are ' One said, Yes And that, too, had a very specific and o in a solid body weakens resolve Also, we find it hard to see your thoughts 'Body again, I am afraid The brain is a very iot control of her hands at last One said, Yes Another said, When water fills a jug, it takes the shape of the jug But the water is not the jug, nor is the jug the water 'Of course,' said Lady LeJean And, inside, a thought that she hadn't known she was thinking, a thought that turned up out of the darkness behind the eyes, said: We are surely the ood to act alone She said, 'Of course' And once again a thought eed from the darkness: I'm in trouble now One said, And therefore you will have coether, resolve is strengthened Motes began to twinkle in the air Lady LeJean's body backed away auto, she backed it away further She had seen hu spun out of rawwhen you were currently inhabiting a similar one It was one of those tiht it wanted to throw up Six figures took shape, blinked and opened their eyes Three of the figures were male, three were female They were dressed in human-sized equivalents of the Auditors' robes

The re Auditors drew back, but one said, They will accompany you to the clockmaker; and matters will be resolved today They will not eat or breathe Hah! thought one of the little voices that ures whimpered 'The body will breathe,' said her ladyship 'You will not persuade it that air is not required' She are of the choking noises 'You are thinking, yes, we can exchange necessary materials with the outside world, and this is true,' she went on 'But the body does not know that It thinks it is dying Let it breathe' There was a series of gasps 'And you will feel better shortly,' said her ladyship, and was enthralled to hear the inner voice think: These are your jailers, and you are already stronger than theures felt its face with a clu, said, 'Whom do you speak to with your mouth?'

'You,' said Lady LeJean 'Us?'

'This will take soer lies that way We believe the body iht on the brain No blame attaches It is a malfunction We will accompany you to the clockmaker We will do this now'

'Not in those clothes,' said Lady LeJean 'You will frighten him It may lead to irrational actions' There was a moment of silence The Auditors-made-flesh looked hopelessly at one another 'You have to talk with your mouth,' Lady LeJean prompted 'Thewith these clothes? It is a simple shape found in many human cultures' Lady LeJean walked to the'See the people down there?' she said 'You must dress in appropriate city fashions' Reluctantly the Auditors did so, and, while they retained the greyness, they did give themselves clothes that would pass unnoticed in the street Up to a point, anyway 'Only those of female appearance should wear dresses,' Lady LeJean pointed out