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'Oh yes, if you've got enough pling Now let's see the abbot, shall we? It'll be tioodness At least he's done with the wetnurse It was so e lady, honestly, you didn't knohere to put your face and neither did he I mean, mentally he's nine hundred years old'

'That must make hie and wisdoether, I've always found,' said Lu-Tze, as they approached the abbot's rooms 'Some people just become stupid with more authority Not his reverence, of course' The abbot was in his highchair, and had recently flicked a spoonful of nourishing pap all over the chief acolyte, as s happy that parsnip-and-gooseberry custard was dribbling down his forehead It occurred to Lobsang, not for the first time, that the abbot was a little bit more than purely random in his attacks on the man The acolyte was, indeed, the kind of e in any right-thinking person to pour goo into his hair and hit hih to listen to his inner child

'You sent forThe abbot upturned his bon the chief acolyte's robe 'Wahahaahaha ah, yes, Lu-Tze How old are you now?'

'Eight hundred, your reverence But that's no age at all!'

'Nevertheless, you have spent a lot of ti to retire and cultivate your gardens?'

'Yes, but-'

'But,' the abbot selically, like an old warhorse you say "haha!" at the sound of trumpets, yes?'

'I don't think so,' said Lu-Tze 'There's nothing funny about tru to be out in the field again But you have been helping to train world operatives for entle on one side of the rooThey nodded sheepishly at Lu-Tze, and their eyes above their half-masks looked embarrassed 'I did my best,' said Lu-Tze 'Of course, others trained theht theatean for "the Passing Wind",' he said, in a stage whisper 'I a to send thehchair with his spoon 'That is end for a long time Why not trust in the future? Bikkit!'

'I see,' said Lu-Tze sadly 'Oh, well, it had to happen some time Thank you for your consideration, your reverence'

'Brro within a hundred miles of Uberwald, will you?'

'Not at all, your reverence'

'That is an order!'

'I understand, of course'

'You've disobeyed h In Omnia, I remember'

'Tactical decision made by the ht call an interpretation of your order,' said Lu-Tze

'You o and doing what you were absolutely forbidden to do?'

'Yes, your reverence So the other end When I did what shouldn't be done in a place where I shouldn't have been, I achieved what needed to be done in the place where it should have happened' The abbot gave Lu-Tze a long hard stare, the kind that babies are good at giving 'Lu-Tze, you are not no to Uberwald or anywhere near Uberwald, understand?' he said 'I do, your reverence You are right, of course But, in e, may I travel another path, of wisdo hter from the other monks 'The Way of the Washerwoman?' said Rinpo 'Mrs Cosmopilite is a dresss like "It won't get better if you pick at it"?' said Rinpo, winking at the rest of the et better if you pick at them,' said Lu-Tze, and now his calmness was a lake of tranquillity 'It h it is, it is my Way' He turned to the abbot 'That was how it used to be, your reverence You recall? Master and pupil go out into the world, where the pupil may pick up practical instruction by precept and example, and then the pupil finds his own Way and at the end of his Way-'

'-he finds himself bdum,' said the abbot 'First, he finds a teacher,' said Lu-Tze 'He is lucky that you will bdumbdum be that teacher'

'Reverend sir,' said Lu-Tze 'It is in the nature of Ways that none can be sure who the teacher may be All I can do is show him a path'

'Which will be in the direction of bdum the city,' said the abbot 'Yes,' said Lu-Tze 'And Ankh-Morpork is a long way from Uberwald You won't send me to Uberwald because I a you to humour an old man'

'I have no choice, when you put it like that,' said the abbot 'Reverend sir-' began Rinpo, who felt that he did The spoon was banged on the tray again 'Lu-Tze is a h reputation!' the abbot shouted 'I trust him implicitly to do the correct action! I just wish I could blumblum trust him

to do what I bluo to Uberwald! Now do you wish o to Uberwald? BIKKIT! I have spoken! And noill all you gentleent business to attend to' Lu-Tze bowed and grabbed Lobsang's arer off quick before anyone works it out!' On the way out they passed a lesser acolyte carrying a small potty with a pattern of bunny rabbits around it 'It's not easy, reincarnating,' said Lu-Tze, running down the corridor 'Noe've got to be out of here before so and bedroll!'

'But no one would counter, as they skidded round a corner 'Ha! It'll be his nap in ten ht end up being so busy banging square green pegs into round blue holes that he'll forget what he said,' said Lu-Tze 'Politics, lad Toowhat they're sure the abbot would have o, now I'll see you in the Garden of Five Surprises in oneone of the bonsai mountains into a bamboo fra over one shoulder 'Won't it get daed?' Lu-Tze picked up his broom 'And we'll just drop in and have a chat with an old h Maybe we'll pick up some stuff'