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'Miss S a big red ball,' said Miss Susan 'My children have learned to expect a plot No wonder they get i Grim Fairy Tales at the moment'

'That is rather rude of you, Susan'

'No, madam That is rather polite of me It would have been rude of me to say that there is a circle of Hell reserved for teachers like Miss Smith'

'But that's a dreadf-' Mada them to read at all yet!' she snapped But it was the snap of a soggy twig Madaed back in her chair when Miss Susan looked up The girl had this terrible ability to give you her full attention You had to be a better person than Madam Frout to survive in the intensity of that attention It inspected your soul, putting little red circles around the bits it didn't like When Miss Susan looked at you, it was as if she was giving you marks

'I mean,' the headmistress mumbled, 'childhood is a ti,' said Miss Susan 'Learning through play,' said Madarateful to find familiar territory 'After all, kittens and puppies-'

'-grow up to be cats and dogs, which are even less interesting,' said Miss Susan, 'whereas children should grow up to be adults' Mada to ress It was always like this She knew she was powerless News about Miss Susan had got around Worried parents who'd turned to Learning Through Play because they despaired of their offspring ever Learning By Paying Attention to What Anyone Said were finding thehtful and with a pile of ho and even with the dog helping them And they came hoes Miss Susan knew everything about everything Miss Susan had wonderful ideas for school tripsand that was particularly puzzling, because as far as Madaanized There was invariably a busy silence from Miss Susan's classroom when she went past This annoyed her It harked back to the bad old days when children were Regimented in classrooms that were no better than Torture Chambers for Little Minds But other teachers said that there were noises Sole Just once, Madam Frout could have sworn, if she was the sort to swear, that as she passed there was a full-scale battle going on This had often been the case with Learning Through Play, but this time the addition of trumpets, the swish of arrows and the screa too far She'd thrown open the door and felt soh the air above her head Miss Susan had been sitting on a stool, reading froed in a quiet and fascinated see Madam Frout hated, as if the children were Supplicants around so All the watching children, and Miss Susan,for her to go away She'd flounced back into the corridor and the door had clicked shut behind her Then she noticed the long, crude arrow that was still vibrating in the opposite wall Madareen paint, and then back at the arrow Which had goneShe transferred Jason to Miss Susan's class It had been a cruel thing to do, but Madam Frout considered that there was now so on

If children eapons, Jason would have been banned by international treaty Jason had doting parents and an attention span of minus several seconds, except when it came to inventive cruelty to small furry animals, when he could be quite patient Jason kicked, punched, bit and spat His artwork had even frightened the life out of Miss S nice to say about any child He was definitely a boy with special needs In the view of the staff rooan with an exorcis at the keyhole She had heard Jason's first tantrum of the day, and then silence She couldn't quite make out what Miss Susan said next When she found an excuse to venture into the classrooirls to make a cardboard rabbit Later his parents said they were ao to sleep with the light on Madalowing references were all very well, but she was an e things to her, Mada quite satisfied and only realized that she hadn't really had a proper answer at all when she was back in her office, by which time it was always too late And it continued to be too late because suddenly the school had a waiting list Parents were fighting to get their children enrolled in Miss Susan's class As for soht hoinations, didn't they? Even so, there was this essay by Richenda Higgs Madalasses, which she was too vain to wear all the tiain In its entirety, it read: A man with all bones ca white hors We pared the hors He had a sighyve He told us interesting things and to be careful when crosing the road Madam Frout handed the paper across the desk to Miss Susan, who looked at it gravely She pulled out a red pencil, made a few little alterations, then handed it back 'Well?' said Madaood at punctuation, I'h'

'Who What's this about a big white horse in the classrooly and said, 'Mada a horse into a classroooing to be deterred this time She held up another short essay

Today ere talked at by Mr Slueyman but he is nice now He tole us what to do abot the other kind You can put the blanket ove your head but it is bettr if you put it ove the bogeymans head then he think he do not exist and he is vanishs He tole us lots of stores abot people he jueyey dos not like is Miss finding hiinations children have,' said Miss Susan, with a straight face 'Are you introducing young children to the occult?' said Mada caused a lot of trouble with parents, she ell aware 'Oh, yes'

'What? Why?'

'So that it doesn't come as a shock,' said Miss Susan cal round the house looking for monsters in the cupboards! And up until now she's always been afraid of them!'

'Did she have a stick?' said Susan 'She had her father's sword!'

'Good for her'

'Look, Susan I think I see what you're trying to do,' said Madam Frout, who didn't really, 'but parents do not understand this sort of thing'

'Yes,' said Miss Susan 'Soht to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents Not just the practical, I mean'

'Nevertheless, we must respect their views,' said Madaht the sa Madam had been too tense to payAll she'd been aware of was Miss Susan sitting and talking quietly to the couples, right up to the point where Jason's mother had picked up her chair and chased Jason's father out of the rooe bunch of flowers had arrived for Susan froer bunch from Jason's father Quite a few other couples had also co worried or harassed Certainly Madam Frout, when the time came for next terh up so readily And there it was again Madam Frout the headmistress, who had to worry about reputations and costs and fees, just occasionally heard the distant voice of Miss Frout who had been quite a good if rather shy teacher, and it histling and cheering Susan on

Susan looked concerned 'You are not satisfied with my work, madam?' Madam Frout was stuck No, she wasn't satisfied, but for all the wrong reasons And it was dawning on her as this interview progressed that she didn't dare sack Miss Susan or, worse, let her leave of her own accord If she set up a school and news got round, the Learning Through Play School would sie pupils and, importantly, fees 'Well, of course no, not in an, and beca past her There was Madaot tangled with the buttons of her blouse She peered at the mantelpiece and tried to make sense of the blur 'Why, it looks like a a white rat, in a little black robe,' she said 'And walking on its hind legs, too! Can you see it?'

'I can't iine how a rat could wear a robe,' said Miss Susan Then she sighed, and snapped her fingers The finger-snapping wasn't essential, but time stopped At least, it stopped for everyone but Miss Susan And for the rat on the h this was not preventing it fro to steal Madam Frout's jar of boiled sweets for Good Children Susan strode over and grasped the collar of the tiny robe SQUEAK? said the Death of Rats 'I thought it was you!' snapped Susan 'How dare you coe the other day And don't think I didn't see you when you turned up to collect Henry the Haraphy when you can see soered: SNH SNH SNH 'And you're eating a sweet! Put it in the bin right now!' Susan dropped the rat onto the desk in front of the temporally frozen Madaood about this sort of thing, but soe who you were So she pulled open the bottom drawer to check the level in the bottle that was Madam's shield and comforter in the wonderful world that was education, and was pleased to see that the old girl was going a bit easier on the stuff these days Most people have soap between perception and reality, and, after all, in those circuin

She also spent a little while going through Madam's private papers, and this has to be said about Susan: it did not occur to her that there was anything wrong about this, although she'd quite understand that it was probably wrong if you weren't Susan Sto Helit, of course The papers were in quite a good safe that would have occupied a competent thief for at least twenty ested that special rules applied here No door was closed to Miss Susan It ran in the faenetics are passed on via the soul When she'd brought herself up to date on the school's affairs, mostly to indicate to the rat that she wasn't just someone who could be suht,' she said wearily 'You're just going to pester me, aren't you? For ever and ever and ever' The Death of Rats looked at her with its skull on one side SQUEAK, it said winsomely 'Well, yes, I like hiht Why does he need me? He's Death! He's not exactly powerless! I'ain, juh the closed door It reappeared for a ht,' said Susan to herself 'Make that mostly human' Tick And who is this Lu-Tze? Sooner or later every novice had to ask this rather complex question Sometimes it would be years before they found out that the little ly carted away the contents of the dormitory cesspit and occasionally caendary hero they'd been told they would htest of thees in the valley They were part of the staff of the monastery but they had no status They did all the tedious, unregarded jobs They were figures in the background, pruning the cherry trees, washing the floors, cleaning out the carp pools and, always, sweeping They had no nahtful novice would understand that the sweepers must have names, some form by which they were known to other sweepers, but within the terounds at least they had no naht They were just sweepers But so was Lu-Tze One day a group of senior novices, for mischief, kicked over the little shrine that Lu-Tze kept beside his sleeping mat