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'I'eer, piece of paper

'The Watch to be brought up to an establishth of fifty-six; the old Watch Houses at the River Gate, the Deosil Gate and the Hubwards Gate to be reopened and manned on a twenty-four hour basis--'

The Patrician's smile re it stranded and all alone in the world

'--a departot a nas like dead bodies, eg, how long they've been dead, and to start e'll need an alchehoul provided they pro hos, which could be very useful, and Lance-Constable Angua can deal with that since she can, um, be her own handler a lot of the time; a request here from Corporal Nobbs that Watchh I'd be obliged if you said no to that; a--'

Lord Vetinari waved a hand

'All right, all right,' he said 'I can see how this is going And supposing I say no?'

There was another of those long, long pauses, wherein may be seen the possibilities of several different futures

'Do you know, sir, I never even considered that you'd say no?'

'You didn't?'

'No, sir'

'I'ood of the city, sir Do you knohere the word "policeman" comes from? It means "man of the city", sir From the old word polis'

'Yes I do know'

The Patrician looked at Carrot He see futures in his head Then:

'Yes I accede to all the requests, except the one involving Corporal Nobbs And you, I think, should be proree, sir That would be a good thing for Ankh-Morpork But I will not command the Watch, if that's what you mean'

'Why not?'

'Because I could cos because an officer tells them They shouldn't do it just because Corporal Carrot says so Just because Corporal Carrot isgood at being obeyed' Carrot's face was carefully blank

An interesting point'

'But there used to be a rank, in the old days Coest Samuel Vimes'

The Patrician leaned back 'Oh, yes,' he said 'Commander of the Watch Of course, that became a rather unpopular job, after all that business with Lorenzo the Kind It was a Vimes who held the post in those days I've never liked to ask him if he was an ancestor'

'He was, sir I looked it up'

'Would he accept?'

'Is the High Priest an Offlian? Does a dragon explode in the woods?'

The Patrician steepled his ringers and looked at Carrot over the top of them It was a mannerism that had unnerved many

'But, you see, captain, the trouble with Sam Vimes is that he upsets a lot of important people And I think that a Commander of the Watch would have to move in very exalted circles, attend Guild functions'

They exchanged glances The Patrician got the best of the bargain, since Carrot's face was bigger Both of therin

'An excellent choice, in fact,' said the Patrician

'I'd taken the liberty, sir, of drafting a letter to the cap-- to Mr Vimes on your behalf Just to save you trouble, sir Perhaps you'd care to have a look?'

'You think of everything, don't you?'

'I hope so, sir'

Lord Vetinari read the letter He sned at the bottom, and handed it back

'And is that the last of your dema-- requests?'

Carrot scratched his ear

'There is one, actually I need a hoarden, a war children'

'Good heavens Really? Well, I suppose we can find one'

'Thank you, sir That's all, I think'

The Patrician stood up and li lit all over the city

With his back to Carrot he said, 'Tellan heir to the throneWhat do you think about it?'

'I don't think about it, sir That's all sword-in-a-stone nonsense Kings don't coht Everyone knows that'

'But there was some talk ofevidence?'

'No-one seems to knohere it is, sir'

'When I spoke to Captainto Coot it'

'Then I must have put it down somewhere I'm sure I couldn't say where, sir'

'My word, I hope you absent-mindedly put it down souarded, sir'

'I think you've learned a lot from Cap-- Commander Vimes, captain'

'Sir My father always said I was a quick learner, sir'

'Perhaps the city does need a king, though Have you considered that?'

'Like a fish needs aera thing that doesn't work underwater, sir'

'Yet a king can appeal to the emotions of his subjects, captain Invery much the same way as you did recently, I understand'

'Yes, sir But ill he do next day? You can't treat people like puppet dolls No, sir Mr Viot to know his li he could do would be to get on with a decent day's work--'

'Indeed'

'But if there was soain' Carrot brightened up 'It's a bit like being a guard, really When you need us, you really need us And when you don'twell, best if we just walk around the streets and shout All's Well Providing all is well, of course'

'Captain Carrot,' said Lord Vetinari, 'because we understand one another so well, and I think we do understand one anotherthere is so I'd like to show you Come this way'

He led the way into the throne room, which was, empty at this time of day As he hobbled across the wide floor he pointed ahead of him

'I expect you knohat that is, captain?'

'Oh, yes The golden throne of Ankh-Morpork'

And no-one has sat in it for many hundreds of years Have you ever wondered about it?'