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'Yes?'

'It'd save a lot of trouble if ent to the wizards and asked theic'

'No, but'

'No eant'

'Yes, sir'

'Guard of honour all sorted out?'

'Yes, sir Their cohorts all gleaold, sir'

'Really?'

'Very ihten the life out the enemy'

'Good'

'But I can't find Corporal Nobbs, sir'

'Is that a probleuard'll be a bit smarter, sir'

'I've sent him on a special errand'

'Ercan't find Lance-Constable Angua, either'

'Sergeant?'

Colon braced hi away

'Did you know she was a olf?'

'UmCaptain Vimes kind of hinted, sir'

'How did he hint?'

Colon took a step back

'He sort of said, "Fred, she's a damn olf I don't like it any ot to take one of them as well, and a olf's better than a vampire or a zombie, and that's all there is to it" That's what he hinted'

'I see'

'Ersorry about that, sir'

'Just let's get through the day, Fred That's all--'

--abing, abing, a-bing-bong--

'We never even presented the captain with his watch,' said Carrot, taking it out of his pocket 'Hewe didn't care He was probably looking forward to getting a watch I know it always used to be a tradition'

'It's been a busy few days, sir Anye can give it to hi'

Carrot slipped the watch back into its bag

'I suppose so Well, let's get organized, sergeant'

Corporal Nobbs toiled through the darkness under the city His eyes had got accusto for a smoke, but Carrot had warned hi back the body And don't nick any jewellery

People were already filing into the Great Hall of Unseen University

Vi he'd held out for He wasn't exactly an atheist, because atheisods He just didn't like any of them very much, and didn't see what business it was of theirs that he was getting married He'd turned down any of the temples and churches, but the Great Hall had a sufficiently churchy look, which is what people always feel is mandatory on these occasions It's not actually essential for any gods to drop in, but they should feel at home if they do

ViInterchangeable Emmas had taken over the house

There were already a couple of ushers in place, ready to ask guests whose side they were on

And there were a nu around They were auto, and certainly at the reception afterwards Probably one roast ox wouldn't be enough

Despite his deep distrust of ic, he quite liked the wizards They didn't cause trouble At least, they didn't cause his kind of trouble True, occasionally they fractured the time/space continuum or took the canoe of reality too close to the white waters of chaos, but they never broke the actual law

'Good , Archchancellor,' he said

Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully, supreme leader of all the wizards in Ankh-Morpork whenever they could be bothered, gave hi, captain,' he said 'I ot a nice day for it!'

'Hahaha, a nice day for it!' leered the Bursar

'Oh dear,' said Ridcully, 'he's off again Can't understand thepills?'

It was a coned by Nature to live outdoors and happily slaughter anything that coughed in the bushes, why the Bursar (a ned by Nature to sit in a sures) was so nervous He'd tried all sorts of things to, as he put it, buck hi runs, and leaping out at hi Willie the Vampire masks in order, he said, to take hi to be performed by the Dean, who had carefully e service in Ankh-Morpork, other than soht then, if you really must' He nodded enthusiastically at Vian especially for the occasion, he said

'Hahaha, organ!' said the Bursar

And a nalled to a couple of student wizards 'Just take the Bursar away and make him lie down for a while, will you?' he said 'I think soain'

There was a hiss froled squeak Vimes stared at the ht students puround of wheezes 'It's got three keyboards and a hundred extra knobs, including twelve with "?" on them'

'Sounds impossible for a man to play,' said Vimes politely

'Ah We had a stroke of luck there--'

There was a moment of sound so loud that the aural nerves shut down When they opened again, somewhere around the pain threshold, they could justand extre played with gusto by someone who'd discovered that the instrue of special acoustic effects, ranging from Flatulence to Humorous Chicken Squawk The occasional 'oook!' of appreciation could be heard amidst the sonic explosion

So! Who built it!'

'I don't know! But it's got the name BS Johnson on the keyboard cover!'

There was a descending wail, one last Hurdy-Gurdy Effect, and then silence

'Twentyup the reservoirs,' said Ridcully, dusting himself off as he stood op 'Go easy on the Vox Dei stop, there's a good chap!'